I think one can lose their spark when a parent dies. My dad died on January 17th of this year and a part of me died that day too. I think reading books on loss through death and support groups may be helpful but don't let anyone suggest getting over it. There is no getting over it. It is adjusting to a new life without that person...learning to live a life without them but no getting over them not being here. I cling to my faith a lot because it is the only solace I find is knowing dad is in no more and pain and is in heaven. People on this site also are very supportive and helpful.

Your lack of spark, is sadness. As humans we need to come to terms with death itself, not only the passing of loved ones. It is a transition from one soul experience to the next, and we shall meet again - of this I am VERY sure. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lost spark: Oh, yeah, absolutely! My spark was my brother's eccentricity and sense of humor, as well as, of course, his love. Without him, the world has most certainly become a darker, duller place.

I let those black funks overtake me when they wish to. Then I try to keep a sense of humor, always look for the next thing that I might find funny,, I exercise, and I get plenty of sleep.

I remember how i used to be,I had that spark-that zest for life.I think when you realize that death happens it kind of takes the fun out of life.As my husband used to say it breaks your spirit.And thats how I feel-my spirit is broken.

Thank you everyone for your kind words. It really means a lot to me. I don't know if its so soon after my dad passed or not, but it just seems as if I can't have a minute to myself to really grieve. I mean I did cry when I got the phone call, but haven't really grieved. The lil ones keep me busy all day long and by the time bed time comes around, I think I am too sore and exhausted to grieve.

Thank you again for your support.

You really do lose your spark, I spoke with a lady from the bereavement foundation recently and she says when you lose your final parent its much harder, as before you had at least one of them to hold the memories, and now they are both gone.My Mom died 15 years ago and my Dad in November, I have days where I feel fine, but other days when as Koolman says the world feels like a darker, duller place. I too just go ahead and wallow in it when the mood comes, i think its worse to try and hold it together, you need to cry and i think get angry as what has happened is horrible. Be kind to yourself and let yourself give in to the pain when you have to. Hugs

I suppose, if you believe in an afterlife, the spark is knowing you'll be reunited...someday...but someday might be a long, long time! It's dealing with the loneliness in the interim, that no one else can seem to properly fill the same way, that is the bitch.

I don't think anyone knows how to grieve. And for everyone, it may be different. I understand how you feel.... My mom died Dec 31st and my dad died a yr ago in November. Both deaths were unexpected even tho they were older. A part of me died right along with my mom that night. But I guess now is has become trying to figure out how to live life with out her. Almost like a new chapter but my problem is, is that I don't want to close the old chapter. One day at a time, one moment at a time. Hopefully a new "spark" will ignite for both of us one day! Hugs to you!!!!!

There is no "easy way" to navigate a loss of an irreplaceable person in your life. It helps to recognize that we are all mortal and do not inhabit this earth forever. There are no guarantees in life. So if a normal mourning period is about a year, then one must actively try really hard to put foot ahead of the next and utilize the time we do have to resume living a little at a time, sometimes tentatively, and in due time with greater strength. Sharing your friendship, cooking a meal, volunteering your time, can help you cope. Kindness to others helps.
I lost my husband three months ago after almost two years of a devastating illness. He was indescribably wonderful and I know, while I am quite sad, that he would never want me not to live my life fully and as best I can. Try not to think about "lost sparks." Think instead about your loved one's smile, your inner strength, all the good things that you can yet do with your life. Absorb all of the small pleasure-Smell the roses and keep the faith, whatever your personal beliefs and however you celebrate that. Many blessings are in the everyday and ordinary things we do. You have inner strength and the beauty of courage will always shine through.

you know they say time heals..my father passed away 15 years ago and i loved him more then life..for years i would relive every minute of the last weekend of his life during that time frame. But 2 years ago my granddaughter was born on the day he died and the momories of his death has totally changed, i only see the wonderful good times, his death is gone from my mind and only see happy things now...however my younger sister she was 42 died this past august and the sorrow of her death is still present right to this moment...time has help i was paralyzed with grief for the first 4 months. i counted believe me no one could give me a time frame it's was always " time is your friend" that didn't help but it's so true...my spark is gone since she passed away and my life is totally changed ..who would have thought that 9 short months ago i had a life and today i am just a shell over what i was ...the grief of her death has also killed me...

I'm only at 12 weeks since my husband died but I can tell something is definitely different. I don't laugh as long, make as many sarcastic comments, etc.

Sometimes people say things hoping to help without realizing that there just is no fixing grief. We have to go through it and that means something different for each of us. A great visual that was shared with me recently as I'm grieving my mother's death was that of a wavy line. There is not a straight path to getting that 'spark' back. We go up for a while, then just when we think we're doing okay, we slide back down. It's up and down and one foot in front of the other for as long as it takes. Give yourself a break and yes, there are resources available. I think the magic happens when we share our grief with truly understanding people. I hope you can be kind to yourself and that you find the support you need. My thoughts are with you.

I've had many losses in the past 5 years, one being my 30 year old son, and a brother 2years later. I lost my father 2 months after my son, and most recent my mother. For me grief has been a roller coaster ride, one day at the top and next thing I know I am at the bottom. It has taken the spark out of me for sure, and I realize I will never be the same because I had to learn how to go on without my loved ones. I take it one day at a time, and when the grief comes I allow myself to feel it, and train my mind to think of the good memories. I rely on my faith, it has brought me closer to God, and closer to my only family I have left. I couldn't of made it through this journey without faith, and wonderful people here on DS.

I have lost both my parents in the past 11 months. I try to focus on my Kids. it is really hard. I try to remember they would want me to go on, take care of my kids, and be happy. It helps sometimes but, it still hurts too.

First of all, am very sorry, I can feel that you are trying the best you can to find solutions. I feel the same, I've lost my spark, my drive, my desire to go on living. There is no magic bullet that I have found that takes away the hurt. As one person put it, we just learn to live with it. I'm still in the learning process. I've had three major losses in less than two years, my mom, brother and brother in law. Over the years I've lost most of my family even though am not forty yet. Its so hard and its also hard for those who love us; they want us to move on, they want the old you; its only natural for them to want that but they really need to understand, life for us has been forever altered.