Oh, I forgot! I also keep a "spare bag" packed just in case. I have some clean clothes, toiletries and my small Netbook/laptop! I keep the laptop there so I can watch movies if I'm in the ER too long or if I have to stay overnight. My last stay, which was 15 months ago, was for 3 days while they observed how I did on the meds, and thankfully my Mom brought me the NetBook. Now it stays in the bag too. Sort of comforting to know it's there just in case I need it. I didn't even think about it until I read the post, and yes, I had to smile too.

The best way to pull yourself out of a sense of doom is to visit a children's hospital with termially ill cancer patients and then start counting your lucky stars. Watch a mother push a handicap child down the street in a wheelchair and again you will be thankful for your blessings.

Try to develop an attitude of gratitude.

Thanks everyone for your wonderful support and advice.
harts, I agree. We can always find someone who is worse off. I am a nurse in a large medical clinic for the uninsured and underinsured-lots of medicaid patients, lots of sad,sad stories. It does make me feel grateful for the blessings I have. I think as a caregiver , it is very difficult for me to be on the receiving end. Drs and nurses tend to believe they are invincible....until they get sick. And then we make terrible patients! I was supposed to see the cardiologist today, but because of the big storm it had to be rescheduled. Now it is 2 weeks wait again. But, what I think I am coming to terms with, is the idea that I would much prefer to have an ablation than continue to live with this, I would rather take coumadin than have a stroke, I would rather have bypass surgery than drop dead. So, I have had some time to accept whatever is to come. I think as jacuri said, I am greiving the loss of life before A fib.
And Ruth, Thank you for your calm, soothing voice. You are amazing.

When I was much younger I ran across a very depressing stat. They keep mortality stats for baseball players and have since the 1880s.

There is a positive correlation between height and mortality - the taller you are the shorter your life expectancy. SInce I am 6'6", that caught my attention. I devoted myself to eating right and keeping in great shape. And I did.

The irony is that this very activity is the one that probably ended up making my condition worse. I had to laugh. The best research they have on my kind of afib is a sample of Finnish Orienteers - and that is exactly how I spend most of my free time - wandering around the mountains looking at great scenery - and I have for 30 years! And is was exactly the wrong thing to do.

Turns out tall endurance athletes get afib more (like Bill Bradley, the basketball player and US Senator.

I hope you can enjoy every minute. Play the hand that life deals you and try to be good to others. Think of yourself as a role model. What would you want others - especially loved ones - to remember?

Humor helps me.

Hi Marikay and reidswoods,
It is now six years since I had my A/V replaced and they did a Maze treatment at my request to try and eliminate my Chronic A.Fib. I have been in Perm A/fib now for 5 years , I am on Warfarin and I do my own testing of my INR level with my Coagucheck Machine . There are times when I do get a tight chest and a rapid heart beat when I have been doing physical work, but it soon slows down but this does not mean I like it but I can not do anything about it . I am taking Betaloc and that on it's own slows me down .I have no confidence in Surgeons / Cardio's / and in particular ,EP's! The all told me I had a 85% success rate with the Maze ! "Rubbish"! The Surgeon really could not care less about the failure and he ignored my letters expressing my dissapointment .He got his money so he does'nt care. My GP is a personal Friend and he prescibes my drugs and he is the only person I trust, he assures me that if I keep my Warfain level right there is no reason that I should expire early .

Best wishes....Kevin

It was interesting to read Kevin's post... not just because of his post, but also because I read all the older posts.... feelings of doom, the fact that endurance exercise and other activities that are supposed to be healthy can contribute to AFIB, and the reality of the business aspect of electrophysiology.

I have come to some conclusions for now:

1) Our moods can dictate how we feel as much as the AFIB.
2) We have to make the best decisions we can in this imperfect world (change what we can and accept what we can't and figure out the difference).
3) We need to enjoy today. When we are too worried about the past or only thinking about things in the future that may not ever happen, we tend to not enjoy the now. Live in the day.
4) We need to talk about our fears and feelings with those that support us and not be isolated.
5) Enjoy life now! This is not a dress rehearsal.

Expressed more cynically:

Drug companies claim success rates mostly based on studies they funded.
Hospitals make claims based on their own definition of success (like cure OR IMPROVEMENT of a condition sometimes using 5 year survival rates that patients would have made it to anyway).
Doctors protect doctors. Lawyers protect doctors. Dead patients don't complain.
You have to find the hospitals on your own with the best success rates for your type of AFIB. They won't tell you which hospitals are the Walmarts of AFIB ablation.
Although doctors put their pants on one leg at a time, those pants are probably Armanis. Many times a student or inexperienced intern will actually put the doctor's pants on for him (read your release form before they give you anesthesia, or better yet, ask for a copy days before and discuss what the words mean).
We are not going to live forever. We cannot run or exercise death away.
Doctors and "experts" give so much conflicting information. Exercise, not too little, not too much. Eat healthy... but fish has mercury, apples have pesticides, chicken has hormones, gluten is bad, sugar is bad, sugar substitutes are bad, salt is bad, carbs are bad, meat is bad, blah, blah blah.... the important thing to remember is that whatever disease you have, it is your fault or (because of genetics) your parents fault.
OK, enough of that...

I am going to enjoy the day and make the best decisions I can. :-)

Marikay, Riedswoods and Petey, I thank you for all your kind words and advice. You could be talking about me. Since I've gotten my mind around the fact that I have afib and am doing everything I can to fight it. I feel like I can deal with it for now, with the help of you and my primary dr.

Many thanks, Dee

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. Is there any indication that you have blocked arteries on an EKG or anything? If you did indeed need open heart surgery, and I surely hope you don't, the A-fib could be taken care of at the same time. It would be the ideal time to perform the MAZE procedure. I'm not the least bit scared of ablation, and I'm a retired nurse myself. If I thought it would work well for me I would jump at the opportunity. The electrical impulses that burn or freeze scars on your heart trigger the very points that are causing the A-fib. Ablation can and does work in a lot of cases. I so hope you get feeling better.

Macnut50 You are depressed! See someone.

Just an update:
since I posted this 8 months ago I have seen an EP and started flecainide 4 1/2 months ago. I have only had a couple brief episodes of a fib since. I feel like I have my life back, at least for the time being.
I am probably on the track for ablation at some point, I know that the flecainide may not work forever.
I have a strong family history of heart disease and i am trying to concentrate for right now on living as heart healthy as I can.
I appreciate all the responses and good wishes.
Hoping for better days ahead for us all. Take care

I think it is normal to feel down/doomed or such sometimes with this .

I do not like taking warfarin. Now doctor GP changed the size I take but same amount. That is good as cheaper as get a 90 days with 90 pills where I was getting 45 days. It saves me $10 every 3 months. I have not had any more spell of fast beat. My inr went down to 1.6 about that time. Last 3 times has been in the middle okay. I go again this Thursday.

I have been little worried this packing and moving will give me a heart attack. The xrays they took seemed okay year ago. I will not move for coupole months yet. I have a bag packed and I need to put in infor I am sure. List the dugs I take and how muc and when? I Was not a smoker or drinker.

I will still eat something and figure sugat and forget the soybean oil which is so much worse for me. I try to stay low sugar.

This is especially for macnut50. You sound so down please don't feel this way. I know the doom feeling and also the feeling of not wanting to live. You do not have to look very far to find someone who is a much worse place than we are. My doctor put me on a mild antidepressant and it certainly help take that doom and gloom feeling away. I have an appointment on September 29th for a consultation to see if I can have an ablation. From what I have heard ablations are usually quite successful. I am looking forward with great anticipation that things will work out right.
Take great care.