I am sorry you feel doomed! I have had the chest pain too but usually after a cardioversion necessitated by A-flutter at 180 bpm, which in itself hurts. I understand the concern aboout family history as well, though it was not until I joined the A-fib club in March of 2010 that it dawned on me that my father and grandfather must of had it, too, though back then it was called "having a spell" . My father was a heavy smoker for 40 years and died of ischemic bowel at 75, while my grandfather made it to 88. I have had 2 PVI ablations (left side) and an A-flutter ablation (right side) and yes...it is a leap of faith, though backed up with strong evidence of improvement in quality of life. The medications can be scary, but I am in NSR for the past three weeks after switching to Tikosyn...unless I am mistaken, it will treat me kinder than either the sotalol did or the five months of amiodorone had the potential to...keep your chin up, and know that a lot of us wish only the best for you!

Thanks reidswoods,
I appreciate your kind words. It really helps to know we are not alone. I have managed to cope quite well for the last 3 years with occasional episodes, but now it is really affecting the quality of my life. So, as you say, I will have to take a leap of faith. I see my cardiologist next week, so will discuss if we can make some med changes. I've only been on a beta blocker daily, with diltiazem to take at the start of an episode. He is not an EP and I want to find out who he recommends, although I have been doing my own research as well. I know it is time to pursue that and not let my fears control me.
Wishing you continued NSR.

Thanks in return for your well-wishes...I have seen 7 different cardiologists in the last ten months through frequent cardioversion trips, etc., and the medications they prescribe often differ from what the EP wants to do...I sought a consultation with a second EP at the Cleveland Clinic because I was scared silly about being on amiodorone prescribled by my non-Cleveland Clinic EP. He reassured me that it was only a short-term bridge between ablations and not to worry...he also said he wold prescibe the same course of treament including the multiple ablations...like you, sometimes I read too much and worry too much as a result, ending up in a funk that does not serve me of my wife very well.... I try to keep it in perspective by reminding myself that the drug makers want to cover every possibility up front...keep those fears at bay...getting multiple opinions helps a great deal!!

I went thru nearly a year of constant afib. I spent many nights and days worrying. I learned thru research that the stress of worry can make the problem worse (my own duh moment).

Much of my battle was learning how Not to worry.

My advice to you is you need to take a day "off" and come to terms with what is happening or what is going to happen. Do nothing else that day but put your fear/worry to rest.

Stop reading here if you don't like directness.

For me it played out like this (your mileage may vary):

- I decided the worst that could happen to me was I could die.

- I decided that being dead wasnt that bad as i believe I will go to heaven. (I encourage you to seek out God if you haven't)

-As a former EMT who saw many people die, I remembered dying from a heart problem is usually pretty fast and painless.

-I made sure that everyone knows how much I love them and continue to tell them that.

-I also educated myself and discovered I have a greater chance of dieing in a car wreck than from afib.

Most of the time my only worry is I won't get some things done that I want to. The Bucket list.

As of now my afib is gone because of medical treatment, drugs, and most of all God. Two days ago I had a 12 hour bout of afib, it didnt scare me, rather it made me mad.

Fight the fear and worry.

My dad has had afib for 30 + years he is now 70 years old and the afib was persistent. He had an ablation on wednesday is still not feeling too good. I think a lot of it is the worry. He has had a few afibisosdes so he feels kind of doomed . I know the ep doc said they may not completely go away but would be less. It is amazing that part of the population that doesn't feel the afib and the other part do. I myself have had an ep study but they were unable to ablate my wiggle spot since it was so close to the sinus node. I agree the worry is worst part. Thank goodness for meds and ep doctors who are continuley learning more about the electricity of the heart.

Marikay, Most of us in this suppport group fully understand how you feel, sometimes depression gets the better of us, and we really need all the support we can get. I just came out of the hospital after starting on a new drug tikosyn. I have very mixed feelings about taking this new drug. I guess we have to have faith in something or somebody. I did have an ablation done a year ago and the a-fib is back. I wish I know some answers. This group does give you some good information and hopeful feelings. Keep your chin up.

I agree with the others here Marikay, I searched the websites looking for a place I could associate with others going through what I'm going through, and not a medical website. I wanted to reach out to real people who understand the fear I feel with each extra beat, almost instinctively fearing it will end up in an afib episode, the fear I feel reading about the meds and their possible side effects, and then the depression will set in, really affecting my quality of life. It's the fear, not the afib, that holds me back. I do feel, with baby boomers reaching their 60's, more and more research is being done on afib. Ablations are becoming increasingly more common, meds are improved and doctors specializing in the treatment of afib are easier to find. I too will go through periods of depression, of that heavy veil of doom falling all around me, but then I think of my daughter who developed breast cancer at the age of 26, now a survivor of 5 years, who went through the most aggressive cancer treatment, complete mastectomy, removal of 22 lymph nodes, hysterectomy and radiation that left her scarred, I think of her and her bravery and push my fears away, at least for today. Good luck to you, I'm glad to read so many posts and feel as if I'm part of family, not feeling so alone, it's comforting.

I appreciate everyone's comments here, as I am struggling with the same emotional baggage about being diagnosed (recently) with this problem. It's the unpredictability of what's going to happen when, feeling lousy with the medication (Multaq), wondering how this is going to limit my life. This is sort of like the early animal behavioral experiments in which they randomly shocked rats on no particular pattern -- just randomly. Since the animals never could predict when something bad was going to happen, they just gave up and became depressed. Yes, I know we're higher-level beings with better brains and reasoning capacity -- but, I feel a bit like the rat. I do become discouraged as I read more and more on how difficult this condition is to treat. And I'm mad, because I was in pretty good shape physically until this appeared out of nowhere. Normal weight, good blood pressure, daily workout routine, reasonably healthy eating habits. And I get fearful, as I live alone with no family support nearby. Ok, I'll stop whining now -- but I am relieved to know I'm not the only one depressed and anxious about this.

I know Atrial Fib can produce feelings of gloom, particularly if the episodes are frequent. If you have had all your tests ie. stress test, echocardiagram etc there should not be any surprises for you. Perhaps a test to test for blockages in arteries might be reassuring. Those of us with A-Fib are better of than those who have never had a heart test of any kind. Quite a few of our friends have died suddenly with undiagnosed blocked arteries. I know exactly what condition my heart is in which is most reassuring. I have had an angiagram before an ablation which proved I was clear. (By the way the ablation wasn't an issue for Atrial flutter, I had a slight burning pain in my heart for a few days that I didn't need pain relief for). Having episodes fortnightly is too frequent as you can't plan effectivively and you don't want to be in the wrong place where you are really uncomfortable.Some more investigation is required I feel. I have had this problem for 20 years and I have more frequent attacks now (with quite high pulse rate from 3-15 hours). I medicate myself at home (approval from specialist), keep an eye on pulse and blood pressure (have own blood pressure machine) and watch TV. I have a packed hospital bag including a comprehensive file with all my details, latest heart tests and blood tests (the doctors and nurses love it). If my home hospital program is not enough I go to hospital because I need the ECG equipment and permission to take further medication.(I refuse to believe I am sick). I no longer suffer any anxiety about these episodes, I get annoyed at the inconvenience only and simply go through my treatment plan the same way each time. I know God is looking after me and if I keep calm it will be fine. The biggest inconvenience during an A-Fib episode for me is that I have to go to the toilet every 10 minutes (probably because my pulse rate goes so high). If you accept that A-Fib is something in your life and get expert help and be prepared as best you can much of the anxiety goes away. I find that I must be very calm and prepared to help those with me at the time to cope and then to be of assistance to medical staff if I am in hospital. (I've even trained my grandchildren what to do if I am looking after them alone and I have an episode. One of my grandsons is dying to ring 000 for me, except I bet he would get the police, fire engine and the ambulance. I have instructions stuck under the phone for them if needed. Sound quite dramatic really but I can rest knowing I have thought of most things I need during an episode. I hope this is some help to readers and I don't sound too condescending. Best wishes, Ruth

I don't think people understand us when we say we feel a sense of doom. I know I feel that way alot. Most days I wish I wasn't alive. I hope I don't wake up from my sleep too.

I gave up worrying about it. When it is my time, I go. One day when i had my episode I thought i was going to die. It felt peaceful and not scary at all. I lived, it wasn't my time.

I know that feeling of doom, it is real, and it is a sick, black feeling inside. We have all felt that at times, and we all are hurting for you. Ruth is my idol, she gives the best advice. Marykay234 you are getting there too. For myself getting to the place of acceptance is a seres of starts and stops. Right now I'm in a positive place, but when the heart starts thumping, I slide back into the depressed state. I allow myself a little pitty party, but than get good and angry. LIke a weeble I get up and start moving forward. Adjustments have to be made, but Barsoom also gives you good advice. When our day comes, it comes. There is little we can do to change that. what we can do is enjoy our life. tell those we love that they are important, remember too, as Ruth reminds us, we are so fully evaluated and tested, there will be no surprises. Take care of yourself, and allow youself the time to grieve for your life changes. You are a strong woman. We would not be given this freaking afib unless God felt we needed it to test and strengthen us. We are going to be stronger people because of it. and... when you need a lift come to your friends on this website. Okay, I admit, I'm in a really good place today. ask me after an afib attack. haha I also think we need to keep a good sense of humor ! ;-)

Thanks Ruth! That's wonderful advice. I am going to pack my bag and be ready.

By the way, as I posted in another area on this site, the most recent research says that this is not our fault--it is a genetic mutation in our genes that allows sodium and potassium to travel across our cell membranes and causes bad electrical impulses. The triggers just make what is already a weakness, much worse.

Thanks again Ruth!!!!

Ruth, I wish I could get myself into the same place of emotional balance as you seem to have reached with your a-fib. You are an inspiring and calming voice. I live in upper Midwest USA, where we had untold amounts of snow last night, nearly everything shut down -- and I found myself worrying: 'WHAT am I going to do if I have an episode that won't quit? - and here we are snowed in?" I had to chuckle about the packed bag -- I did the same thing several weeks ago since my Dec. hospitalization -- made sure I had clean undies, toiletries, etc.

Does Coumadin provide any of you with peace of mind? I'm only on low-dose aspirin at this time (doc thinks this is fine, low CHADs score), but the bleeding risk of Coumadin scares me - but it seems the worst risk of AF is stroke potential.

I honestly don't think anyone is "calm" when they are having an afib episode, as much as we would like to be. I'm fairly calm right now, even though I had to go out and chop ice until I worked up a sweat and started to have palpitations! I'm also on a aspirin regiment, 325 once a day as well as Rythmol 150 twice a day. My last afib was 15 months ago, and if I let myself think about it too much, I can work myself right into afib. I try to keep my mind busy, not to sit and keep checking my pulse..yeah, we all do that :) Even though I don't seem to have as many episodes as many others here, it's comforting to read the posts and not feel so all alone. I did see an EP doctor last year who told me I wasn't a prime candidate for an ablation because the episodes weren't long, less than 1.5 hours, converting quickly back to NSR and they also weren't frequent, only twice in the past 2 years. I will keep it in check, I truly don't want to worry about having another attack but at the same time I don't want to keep taking Rythmol. My doctor has cut my dosage down to only twice a day and is going to eventually wean me off completely to see how I do. Good luck to everyone, it's an uphill battle for sure, but one we will continue to fight. I'm not going to let afib win.