Sorry, this is going to be long...

I've had a horrible seven months.. and have not been around because I was taking care of my mom-- who was my best friend.. Sadly, she passed away, and I'm having a really hard time with it... Actually, that's an understatement.. I'm devastated, And, yes, I'm getting grief counseling.. Thats all I'm going to say about it... I can't relive those memories.. but I felt I owed you all an explanation as to why I have not been here.

Anyway...

It seems I'm back in the afib game again, and I have lots of questions.

My EP had thought my afib was triggered by high blood pressure, and felt the bystolic would probably keep another attack from happening.

It didn't.

I had been afib-free for 15 months, (although I do have a lot of skipping heart beats) I had a wicked afib attack the night before last. It woke me up at 1am. Since I live alone, I had no choice but to call 911.

My heart was speeding up and beating irregular. It kept getting faster and faster and faster, and wouldn't slow down. I was getting short of breath and feeling weak. I sat on a chair and tried to breath slow.. I beared down to try to break the afib. Nothing worked.

So, I called 911. I literally was begging the 911 guy to hurry the ambulance. I truly felt like I was dying. It was horrible. And then I started to shake uncontrollably and get really, really cold.

Of course, as soon as the ambulance gets there, my heart converts. I still felt awful while they were there. They took me to the hospital, did some blood work (which all was fine) and just watched me for a few hours, and let me go home.

I went to the EP yesterday who pretty much said, "There's nothing really we can do for you. Your episodes,a fortunately, are so far apart, that you may not have another one for a couple of years.. but then, you may have one tomorrow."

He also said I wouldn't pass out or die from it. Really? The EMT said that my heart could go so fast, it would start to quiver.

So on to my questions:

1. How dangerous is Afib? Can I die from my heart going too fast? (I know about the stroke risks)

2. When do I know when to call 911? How long should I wait to see if I self convert?

3. If I don't call 911, will I pass out from Afib. (remember, I live alone... and I don't need my dog walker finding me dead on the floor the next day).

4. Why was I shaking so badly and so cold right before I self-converted?

I'm so frustrated because my EP is poo pooing me. He tells me, "I know you feel unwell during an afib attack." REALLY? "UNWELL?" I feel like I'm going to die. It's horrible when your body goes out of control and theres nothing you can do. And worse when you're all alone.

He tells me he has patients who go in and out of afib three times a day. Like that's supposed to make me feel better?

He also said I'm his youngest afib patient and that most are in their 70s and 80s.

I hate all the drama of getting taken out by an ambulance.. but what can I do? The three I've had so far, always happen late at night or the wee hours of the morning. I literally have no family, and I'm not going to wake my neighbors up at 1am.

And, yes, I know.. I need to have a sleep study.