Asperger Syndrome Support Group
Asperger syndrome - also referred to as Asperger's syndrome, Asperger's, Aspergers or just AS - is one of five neurobiological pervasive developmental disorders (PDD), and is characterized by deficiencies in social and communication skills, normal to above normal intelligence, and standard language development.
do aspies ever mature and behave their age? do we ever behave as mature adults or do we remain at the teenage or adolescent stage of maturity?
in my family, my dad was essentially a teenager at heart who usually behaved like an adult when he needed to, but behaved like a moody, brooding insecure jealous teenager when no one was around who he needed to impress
some aspies books say we never mentally get beyond the teenage years
any comments?
in my family, my dad was essentially a teenager at heart who usually behaved like an adult when he needed to, but behaved like a moody, brooding insecure jealous teenager when no one was around who he needed to impress
some aspies books say we never mentally get beyond the teenage years
any comments?
Sounds good anyway.
> (like Merlin)...I was old when I was
> young and grow progressively younger
> each year. Sounds good anyway. "
Maybe not... have you thought that out? This means you'd know exactly what year you're gonna die! Wouldn't that kinda harsh the buzz a little?
My Dad was an Aspie who was "mature" at work, and responsible. He was "immature" in the negative, moody way of Harry's dad, but was childlike in the very positive way of showing wonder at stars, beauty, kite flying, and walks in the woods!
My brother was socially awkward and did poorly vocationally, but he shared the childlike wonder of interest in new information, love of kittens and cats, and voraciously learning new material of his interests.
My Aspie son shows immaturity in wanting to play video games forever, and a lack of maturity in his social relationships, but he has childlike interest in finding out what each new morning has to offer.
I have Aspie traits, and although I held down a very reponsible psych-type job for 21 years, I never developed the social "maturity" of my sophisticated peers (which wine to drink, which tile is best for remodeling the fancy house, or which golf course is best)...to which I repeat Sally's "who cares?". I have a very immature attitude toward money (spending it as quickly as I get it) and toward social conventions, but have had, like my father, brother & son, a very deep & early-starting maturity in matters of philosophy, how the world works, the real underlying realities of society's functioning, truth in people's behavior, and a deep requirement for social and political honesty. That, along with childlike wonder at kaleidoscopes, beauty, fractal images, math patterns, and peoples' behavior, leads me to think I'm not REALLY immature, after all.
So, I disagree with the premise. I think adults with Asperger's APPEAR immature, but that's because the combination of wired-in honesty, loyalty, unconventionality, and childlike wonder, plus giftedness and intense interests, are not valued by our intensely boring society!
forgive the lyrics quotes :)
patterns all around you
patterns everywhere
patterns of behavior
sometimes seem unfair
can you recognize the
patterns that you find?
patterns unfamiliar
patterns lead you through (to)
patterns of discovery
tracing out the clues
can you recognize the
patterns that you find?
stuck in your mind
in this land where
stability is hard to find
you can rearrange the patterns so unkind
don't bother asking why a
pattern never cries
old patterns never die they
just go on and on
patterns multiplying
re-direct our view
endless variations
make it all seem new
:)
I think most people, even into their 30s are incredibly immature. Maybe sometimes I snap and beat my own head or throw something across the room but at least I pay attention to politics and actually make a vote for my chosen party. In many ways I am more mature than the average person of my age. I do not consider uncontrollable impulses to be any mark of maturity. The true mark of maturity is the decisions we make contributing to making the world a better place.
but in my family where we all have aspies in some way, theres much envy, jealosy , moodniess and brooding like you would expect from a 14 year old going thru a difficult developmental stage
also my dad and brother were happy to behave as if retarded when no one else was around, although they were quite bright mentally
My AS son on the other hand, at 22 is very mature. Well, except when he can take advantage of his parent's services, but maybe that is just smart.
Me, I dunno. I certainly don't fancy secular culture's idea of a good life and wisdom. Is it mature? Maybe I'm mature. But I don't act my age and I hope not. Apart from the walking frame. No, actually I don't have one. Am not what I call fully evolved though. Is that immature? My head is spinning. I'd better be careful or I'll spill my coffee all over the keyboard.
You know, my mom isn't AS but she is about 3 yrs old. Always was. You never know.
I think we need to decide how we want to live and go for it. But be kind to animals, worms and old ladies, ok?
So how do two adults with AS behave. I don't know about anyone else, but WE "play the game" during the day, at work, in public, etc., but when it's just the two of us, we CELEBRATE our silliness and immaturity. He makes me laugh every day. How priceless is that? :)
Some may learn how to outgrow it during their teens, and others, like me, may not come to any awareness of what it is they need to know, find it in a form that makes sense to them, and be ready to accept it, until much later in life.
For me, that was my early forties. Up until then, my mentality was that of a teen, but now I act more like others my own age.
So, my answer is "Yes" some of us do mature and act our age. Am I cured?
NO! There is no cure. But it Asperger's isn't a disease that can be cured. It's a different way of thinking, that, at earlier ages presents itself as what appear to be odd behaviors to others. I've learned to change the behaviors, but the thinking is still vastly different from most of the rest of the world. And that isn't going to change.
I don't want it to. How I think gives me a perspective that allows me to see a lot no one else understands. It's the fact that I can see, and understand these things, and the frustration of dealing with others, who don't get it, that used to lead to a lot of bizarre behaviors. I've just learned to adjust my reactions and understand that most of them just can't see or understand what I do, and it isn't their fault.
Marijuana, and later LSD for a time were part of the picture. The only reason that helped at all was because when everyone around me was in a similarly altered state of mind, they seemed to be able to understand my thinking a lot better. The irony is that my physical perceptions may have changed when I was high, but my basic way of thinking did not. It was already off the wall by "normal" standards. It was only when everyone else was high that no one ever questioned my ideas.
This all may sound like an attempt to be humorous, and it is humorous, but it's humorous because of how true it is!
When they all came down and realized what I was still saying, it scared the living bejeezums out of them!
I gave all that up in my late twenties. Strange that all the friends I had then just seemed to quickly evaporate into thin air.