I could not make sense of what you wrote, however, I know you are writing out which is the first step in healing.

People unfriend all the time for reasons that may not make sense.

Go outside, take a walk, and work on small tasks to help you distract the overload pattern of thought.

You are not alone.

I've expericenced unkindness before because of my beliefs and people have unfriended me on Facebook, including family members.

I'm a Christian and my older cousin announced she was a lesbian and got married to another woman. She kicked off at me because I refused to go to the wedding. It was her life decision and I respected that and had no issues with her making her own choices. But I felt uncomfortable about the wedding as it went against what I believe in. I still wished her well and still respected her as she is the only older cousin I have. I just said I wasn't going to the wedding.
She didn't speak to me for about a year afterwards and deleted me off Facebook.
She came round in the end though and she accepted that we have different views in the world but it didn't mean we hated or judged each other, she then re-added me on Facebook. She ended up splitting up from her wife and she is now living with a guy.

One of my younger cousins deleted me off Facebook last year and hasn't spoken to me since. She was in a very bad place and tried to commit suicide several times. I tried my best to help her and offered to let her stay with me for a while as I live 150miles away from her and thought the space might help, she seemed to be really looking forward to it but they that night tried to commit suicide again and ended up in a psychiatric hospital. I asked if my friend who was working as a pastor at the hospital could visit her on my behalf and chat with her (distance wise I live about 3 hours away on the train and don't drive). Anyway she was verbally and physically abusive to my friend who just happened to be visiting somebody else on the ward. She had a go at me, told me she was going to kill herself, deleted me off Facebook, and hasn't spoken to me since.
I've learnt from other family members that she is now doing a lot better and I'm sure in time she will come round and re-add me on Facebook and start talking to me again. But I'm not going to push it. She will come round in her own time.

If somebody Unfriends you on Facebook then don't take it personally, it doesn't mean there is an issue with you or that you are flawed... People just act rashly out of anger and frustration and sometimes act harshly... sooner or later then usually realise their mistake and re-add you. Usually people do things like that out of anger and more often than not many months later they will wonder why they don't have you on Facebook anymore and would have completely forgot that it was their actions.

Also as a Christian (and this applies to other faiths too)... You can still be going in Gods direction but still feel like you're going through hell. Life was never supposed to be easy, life is preparation for meeting your father face-to-face in heaven. It shapes you into the person he wants you to become and is a constant learning curve. Life can be absolutely crap... Believe me I completely know and understand that... But God does not disown or abandon his children, sometimes when life is particularly difficult it is just hard to hear him.

But you have all of us on here as your friends and to keep you company until she comes round and afterwards!
Xxx

Thank you both for responding. Each has delivered hope to me in their own way. I consider that a BIG DEAL. mideyebrow : I keep a journal because I find it helpful. Your right ... I do need to do other things. But I find it really hard to focus on other things. But I'll try to do better. fonechick: you sound incredibly patient. Bless you. Thank you for your insight and wisdom.

Isolated I am an atheist, but I am still absolutely obliged by my upbringing to just add in there that if you are a Christian, you HAVE to believe that God doesn't hate his children. He LOVES his children. And that creates a fundamental shift in how you have to interpret Him. You're not allowed to see him as a bully, who would disown you and you never knew why. He'll never disown you. Ever. Even if you disown Him.

Do you have children? If He is the father, then He loves you like you love your children. How many chances do you give your children? How intensely do you control your children?

Do you demand that your adult children constantly obey you? Or do you just hope they follow their own code of honour, and that they have a code of honour?

I don't think God wants yes-men. I think He wants men. So be your own man. He can handle it. He's a big boy.

:)

Isolated,

I can relate with when it come to being rejected even if you didn't do anything whatsoever to the other person. Here is reasons why I said I can relate with you. In 2006, I received a letter from an old friend. We became friends in elementary school back in 1982, the school we were attending was so small that she and I were the only 6 graders there (I'm a female too). We were like sisters, we kept in touch throughout the years. Today, she and I are in our forties but we still look like we are in our teens; in 2006, she wrote me a letter saying that the last time we spoke on the phone, I said something that hurt her feelings. I honestly do not remember what I said, the only thing that was on my mind at the time was the fact that my cat was dying and I felt so bad because I did not think I was helping her (she had cancer). I do remember saying to this friend "you are lucky, at least you can take your dog to the vet anytime you want because you have a car". Well...if she said that to me I would not stop talking to her, I would think of it as saying she was upset because she was losing her beloved pet. I did not hear from her anymore since, although I wrote her two letters after that, saying I don't remember what I said but I apologize for hurting your feelings. Then last year, before Christmas, we called a friend who lives not too far from us, had put a block on her phone, meaning each time we call her home, we would hear a message saying "your number had been blocked", something like that. We don't know, especially myself, do not know what in God's name happen for that to happen. She always came over to visit, we called her but now what? who knows.

It hurts like heck to be rejected by someone (regardless who they are. You keep wondering what the heck did I do or what kind of monster am I? no one tells me).