Yes, I find that I can be quite different in different situations. Alas, too much time in any one of my specialized modes has a way of catching up with me later. 10 hours of suppressing my anxiety for work mode has a way of intensifying the anxiety after I punch out and get back to my life and/or try to rest up for the next round. It is a serious challenge to balance the load.

I’m glad im not alone in the battle to find the balance suppression is hard but needed.

I get that so well. My pretend, together me shows up at work sites. The real me shows up when I am at home or with my closest friends. I think of it as a survival technique. Hugs.

Thanks for your kind words

This is so relatable. I think many of us go out and face our work world but when the door closes and we walk into our personal life a switch flips and we can become very withdrawn. I have a significant person in my life that is a high functioning executive but once they are in their personal world they don't even want to pick the phone up all call for pizza. I support them and love them for who they are and I find, from observation, that my friend does well when they are involved in a hobby they love. The hobby seems to give them an escape and honestly my friend is very intelligent and I assume you are as well. I would encourage you to open up to your significant other or a close friend and if you don't have anyone like that in your life find a counselor to speak with. I would also encourage you to pursue an interest outside of work where you feel comfortable and accomplished in your private life as well. Take care of yourself, you are valuable.

Thanks Cassie 1237. I have very little interest in any hobbies or activities at the moment.

Hi Mjay13, I've not been on in a few days but I wanted to check in on you. How are doing?

Hi Cassie 1237.
It’s so nice of you to pop up and check in, strange to me that many of my ‘friends’ don’t even do that for me, although I do for them. It’s been a tough week. Anxiety and depression been difficult to mask. Hope you are okay and that your friend you mentioned is doing better

Hey Mjay13, yes I can totally relate to this. At work I have a position that requires for me to be out and about speaking to people, be in meetings, do presentations etc.. and it is draining lol. I mean at work I am okay when I'm constantly busy but when I'm off work and I go home its different anxiety gets worse, I mean I have anxiety all day every day that's just how I am, but works makes it easier to cope with it. versus being home makes it a little easier for anxiety to take over. I've noticed that lately when my partner wants to go have dinner or even grocery shopping I have to mentally get ready before stepping out because those places with so many people are usually the places that raise up my anxiety levels. nevertheless I'm fighting hard every day to not let this dictate my life just like yourself. sending you hug.

Sparklettswindow. exactly my point, keep fighting. I suppose it’s professionalism isn’t it.
Hope you find things easier someday soon

Mjay13, No problem. I think your struggle is close to me because of my relationship with my friend. So, I wanted to check in and see how you are coping. Sounds like you are having some anxiety. As far as my friend. they are doing better but I do believe their hobby really helps them find balance at home. I also find that many of our shared friends tend to shy away from the struggle my friend has of being not so social outside of work. I assume this is a struggle for you as well since your friends are not checking up on you. I would continue to encourage you to find a hobby to do outside of work. If you could do something without anxiety what would you do? Start there and then begin to look for ways to explore that interest. I'll check back in a few days. Have a great weekend.

Thank you so much, I’m working all weekend which is good as a distraction but I am exhausted from acting stronger than I feel. Hope you have a great weekend though xxx

Yes, I find that I can be very different at work than at home in other social situations too.
When I was in school, I did take vistaril for anxiety and occasionally I do but not much anymore.
I guess it is a type of mask but not a problem for me. I just work to do better in social situations and look for groups that I can feel comfortable in when off work. It helps me