It is not healthy or normal that you are thinking about suicide, you are a person worth living on this earth and you matter. PLEASE consider reaching out for help, calling a local crisis line in your area and talking to another human being. This doesn't have to be the end of your life but rather the end of this dark phase. It can get better, I can say that from experience. I am not n all that great of circumstances myself at the moment, it is dark and scary but I will keep on pushing through, and I think you matter and need help. Please stay safe.

Have you looked at professional help? I seriously, seriously, think that you need to consider medication. It's not giving up. There may be a better life than you know waiting for you. But you need to ask for it.

Dunno why it's so hard for you. You are the one with all that inside data.

It's so hard for me because my survival instinct seems to be my healthiest attribute. However broken my pathetic life is, I still *want* to live.

Gentle support while you figure your own, Thorne.

The fact that it is hard for you to do something like this shows that you still have some fight left in you and that deep down, this is not what you want to do and you still have hope buried behind all the struggles.. I have been in your shoes. I didn't think I could ever get better, and being dead just seemed so much easier than being alive. But there was still a small part of me that couldn't do it, as if I knew that I would get better eventually. I'm glad I listened to that inner voice because I did get better. I'm not 100% healthy but I'm definitely not in that place anymore.
Please listen to your inner voice, not the anxiety and depression voice--it's a LIAR!! You are so incredibly strong, even if you don't feel like it right now. There is a huge shift and healing happening within you right now, and I promise you, it will not last forever! Take this as a lesson.. we all have rough patches in our lives but they never last. This struggle will make you even stronger and much more resilient.
Please feel free to reach out to me or message me. I have gone several different routes to help cope with my anxiety and can answer any questions, or just be there to offer guidance and support.

Please don't chalk this up to laziness or fear. You're still here and still fighting. And that is so much braver than you're giving yourself credit for.

Humans are resilient creatures. You're no exception. Stay a while and let us help you get through this.

it's our basic instinct to fight death, its there for a reason, makes it hard to make the big mistake of ending your life. think about the reason its there and heed its warning. something is very wrong with your life if you consider it as a option. time to talk to a person who can help you fix this. i know it is work and you said your lazy. but are you selfish to? killing yourself is the most selfish act there is, has zero regard on how others will feel about your death. so if your really lazy and ultra selfish are you sure you would want to die? god has a very special place for those kind of people. time to reconsider, and make the world better around you, god also has a place for those people to, and its a much better place then the other one

Your loved, god bless you

Our soicety value hard work. As long as you are happy, you do not need to work hard. Killing yourself is not natural. It is normal to have anxiety.