I personally, at my age, don't care anymore.

But most of the people I know who have found good relationships...were willing to risk a whole, whole, whole lot of failure. They were literally asking out a different person (or two, or three) every week....thus the "want to go get coffee"...line.

They'd ask out the pretty, the ugly, the skinny, the fat, the smart, the stupid, the stuck-up, the shy. Pick a label...they'd get coffee with them.

Few got asked out a second time. Of those asked out...few of those accepted (maybe one in 4). Of those...few went for another date after that.

And the coffee's kept coming. Basically it takes lots of time to find someone. Yes, a few get lucky right off the bat. And a number find someone in their teen's early 20's...but fewer than you'd think. And quite a few of those relationships end badly.



Anyway, good luck, I DO know how painful it is (I was not one of the pretty ones).
Patti

What Patti says is true. So, here's a gift for you: you have beauty. Where is it? It's you! I know, those scars represent the battle of your experience. Those scars do NOT define your mind, your spirit, your "you".

I know there's someone out there who loves you. You have to go through a lot of those "not quite a fit" moments to get there, and as hard as it is to look at it in positive funny way, taking the time to see the humor in the effort to be natural in the unusual situation is often a great icebreaker.

I say go for it, and know you have us to help you get through the feelings after the event. That's like all you accomplish, remember the positive, and use that to help you feel natural looking at a new person, ..., no one is perfect.

Best wishes!

I dunno why we always want what we do not have, but it do seem to be the nature of the human beast. There is a big piece of my heart which would gladly trade your one step closer to that Academic Achievement for the 38 year love affair I've had with Hubby. I'm grateful for his place in my life, butttttaaaa. . . Why do we always want whatever we don't have? I can't seem to help getting lonesome for that Academic Achievement.

Sigh. . .

I'm getting to the point where I don't care either, however, there's still this part of me that want someone to share life with.

Thanks everyone for the kind words and input.

Hi Nikki,
I’m very sorry you feel this way. I hope you will stay strong and you will have peace you go through this.

I pray you will overcome anxiety and you will have the desires of your heart. I hope you will feel better soon. Please keep posting, we are here for you.
God bless.

This is something I have struggled with for a very long time, too. I've never been in a relationship, never gotten asked out. I've always been the funny, fat friend but never the love interest. For a long time, I was okay with that. I've never felt good enough for anyone anyways and always felt like I would be okay with the idea of never finding someone to share my life with. I've learned to fill that void by just starting to work on myself. I'm also getting an education, and just living the best that I can, but it does hurt to see everyone around me getting into relationships and I'm going home to be alone. Up until this point, I have never let myself develop feelings for anyone to protect myself. It wasn't until recently that the intense loneliness and depression really hit when I found myself developing a crush on someone I know I will never have a chance with but I bond with on a level I've never experienced before. I'm just not pretty enough or and far too anxious to take the risk to ask them out only to be rejected and lose the friendship so I allow myself suffer until I hope it goes away or I can't take it and just stop being friends with them, What I do know is, I will continue to just work on being a better me because I may die alone, but that doesn't change the fact that I still have to live with me for the rest of my life and I always want us to be in a better place than we are now.

I hope one day you find someone to share your life with. Who sees you for the amazing person that you are. I also hope you continue working hard on yourself by achieving your goals because even if you were in a relationship no one but you can earn that degree and that's an amazing accomplishment. I wish you nothing but the best of luck!

Wow you re still young and have your whole life ahead of you for relationships. Get your university done and then you will have time for a relationship. Might be too much stress now and your almost done.

You will find someone and you can join dating apps or Its Just Lunch, they do the matching for you. It started out in Chicago back in the 90's or late 80's and is even in Canada now

Don't be so hard on yourself. it is more important to have friends.