It is very difficult to accept bullies and people who will not give us second chances but you don't have to prove anything to anyone, except yourself. If these people cannot accept you as you are now, that is their loss. And it's time to move on and find new friends. They are out there. Love yourself and your life will change. Hugs GB

In a small town with a rigid dynamic you will have been stitched into a permanent framework long ago, and that's where you will stick. it's not personal, it's just small town dynamics.

The way to break it is to leave. Even if it's for a year. Just get out of there, become a new person, and let their expectations crumble. Come back older, wiser, a new and stronger you. You will smell different. you will look different. They won't be able to peg you the same. You will have taken them out of the comfort zone they put themselves into with you when you all were kids.

So yeah: look to your future. Career? Travel? You can bum around europe and see the world.

PS my old doctor had ADHD and a more supportive, sensitive, perceptive, entertaining and intelligent doctor I never have had since. He spent some time missionary in Africa which I think rounded him out. They probably need help in Nepal right now. You up for it?

I like your post very much, Bridgie.

The one year away, if just to another town, I'm not sure about. Would that usually be sufficient time in which to undo Dare-d's response habits?

The travel, especially to give service, sounds exciting. And BTW : I grew up in a small town..when in 8th grade the family went to Florida --Dad looking for better work. Upon return, my classmates were enthused and wanted to hearn and wanted to hear about the trip. Many who live in small towns..value news from a distant place.
good luck . -- Caleb

Caleb I agree, and you raise a vital point. It has to be exciting. Interesting. The next town over is not good enough. It has to be asia or the south pacific or mongolia or something. Something completely foreign. Something completely new and most importantly, something seriously cool.

Something that makes the locals jealous. Then their superficial hierarchical values system (subservient versus superior) will kick in, Daredevil will become superior by definition of the rules.

And if Daredevil bothers to come back for good (which he might not, having made a fortune in China or something) he will be in an entirely different headspace to the one he left in. It is hard to take snotty small town status jostling seriously when you've watched people die of starvation and malaria, or nearly died of thirst crossing the sahara. You find yourself remarkably incapable of giving a s--t.

One thing I learned with all the moves made as a military family, is that you can leave the town behind for just a trip elsewhere and come back to a changed environment.

You can not change their reaction, you can change yours, and when their usual response no longer fits, they change. Sometimes, not for the better, however, you do not have to change it, only they can change.

I have friends who laugh at my antics, and people who are not so nice, who laugh with them. I have told them thank you for noticing, and walk away with a smile. I would find other things to do, other people to chat with, and change what I do, and it works.

Best wishes!

This thread really struck a chord with me and feel compelled to answer.

First off......yes....you are trying waaaay too hard to get the wrong people to like you. I was pretty much the same when I was younger which led me to very deadly eating disorders and other addictions. I finally landed my arse in rehab at the age of 31 becuz I wanted everyone to like me......especially my mother-in-law.
In treatment, I learned that there are several BILLION people on this planet. Why did I hone in on just a few people that didn't like me and try so hard to get them to like me? It was becuz I was sooooo focused on them that I forgot about the rest of the world.
So first.....take your focus off those few people (it has nothing to do with maturity). You are wasting soooo much time and energy when you can put it else where. Find people who like you just the way you are and forget the others. Once you find a hobby or take a class.....you will find others that accept you and like you flaws and all :)
One saying I learned back in treatment which helped put things into perspective.....
"The way you are now.....
A third of the world will love you...
A third of the world will hate you....
and a third of the world could care less....
You change and become different....
A third of the world will love you....
A third of the world will hate you...
and a third of the world could care less"

The point is.....you will NEVER get everyone to like/love you.
You have got to learn to love and accept yourself before you can be loved and accepted by others. The opinion about yourself is the most important one.....after all you are the only one who will be there with yourself to the end of your life.
Loving yourself has NOTHING to do with your looks or whether or not you have learning difficulties (everyone has some type of learning disorder....trust me on this). If someone only likes you becuz of your looks or having a buff body.....that really isn't a friend and that is shallow. Trust me.....looks fade, but your personality and values will be there to the end. Your body is just a vessel that carries your soul around.
I use to think I knew it all and had it all together when I was your age......as I got older and looked back.....I found out that I knew jack s$&#. I'm 54 years old and am just starting to bloom (always was a late bloomer...lol).
Learn to relax. Just work on a career, hobby, and self love for now.
Perhaps volunteering and reaching out to other lonely people will give you a sense of purpose while finding your way. Connect and surround yourself with good, positive, and like minded people. This can be done when you let go of trying to get the people from your past back in your life. I too grew up in a small town and was hated becuz my dad was a cop there and I was chubby and dorky.....so I moved away after graduation. I made new friends....unfortunately......I married the wrong man and 24 years later, it ended in a nasty divorce, and the "so called friends" have all fallen away or I dropped them.
I'm starting over at 54 years old and am just beginning to understand life and look back at how little I knew back then.
I'm very choosy who I let in my life these days. I don't care if every hair on my head is perfect....as long as it is clean and as neat as I can make it (my hair has a mind of it's own...lol). I'm starting to wrinkle a bit, and sag.......but it is ok.....it shows I have lived life.
My sense of humor has helped me through a ton of misery and has drawn good people to me as well.
I love to make others laugh.....it is my secret weapon to break the ice or help brighten the day (most people take life way too seriously and need to let loose anyways......after all.....you will never get out of this life alive, so you might as well make the best of it).
So yes.....you are trying too hard. It's easier to just relax and allow the good people in your life. You will only attract what you put out there.

Well, that is my shiny nickels worth.....have a good day!