Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Hello All,
I am new to this support group, a member in the Family Issues suggested to me to visit here.
Quick story of my life I am 39 married with kids. My birth mother left us and lives out of the country, when I was 4 because my father married another behind her back. Step-mom raised me wasn't great, always verbally abused and then father would take her side on every occasion. Example, my dad was not allowed to say he loved me, without step-mom saying what about Jane, her daughter my half sister. Step-mom was always favouring her kids over me, my father had nothing to say. It went as far as her daughter kicking me out of the house while step-mom faking a heart attack. My father took their side and said it was okay to do that. My daughter was 3 at the time. Awful experience I get sick just thinking about it.
It wasn't until after that incident which happened a couple years ago that I decided to find my birth mom. A couple of years ago I found her and had her visit us. My father asked me not to say anything to step-mom. Sure enough a couple of years later dear old father decided to throw me in the fire because he was being accused of infidelity once again, and wanted the attention to steer away from him.
I stand now where neither my father nor my half sibling want to talk to me because of finding my birth mom and think I have back stabbed step-mom in some way by not telling her and finding my birth mom. I haven't spoken to them for a year. I apologized to step-mom in private and then went home to play the victim.
My birth mom is great and we have a great relationship and do not regret it one bit.
Now, with the holiday's coming up I find myself feeling sick and depressed. I have been thinking of them and all the hurt they endured towards me and my immediate family. I am trying to figure out if it is anxiety that I have or depression. I feel sick to my stomach and feel their knots all the time, I'm feeling sad and sometimes think of departing the country or even life, not sleeping well. Seem to be up a few hours a night.
Can someone tell me is this Anxiety or Depression? I don't want to be on medication either any suggestions. Please help.
I am new to this support group, a member in the Family Issues suggested to me to visit here.
Quick story of my life I am 39 married with kids. My birth mother left us and lives out of the country, when I was 4 because my father married another behind her back. Step-mom raised me wasn't great, always verbally abused and then father would take her side on every occasion. Example, my dad was not allowed to say he loved me, without step-mom saying what about Jane, her daughter my half sister. Step-mom was always favouring her kids over me, my father had nothing to say. It went as far as her daughter kicking me out of the house while step-mom faking a heart attack. My father took their side and said it was okay to do that. My daughter was 3 at the time. Awful experience I get sick just thinking about it.
It wasn't until after that incident which happened a couple years ago that I decided to find my birth mom. A couple of years ago I found her and had her visit us. My father asked me not to say anything to step-mom. Sure enough a couple of years later dear old father decided to throw me in the fire because he was being accused of infidelity once again, and wanted the attention to steer away from him.
I stand now where neither my father nor my half sibling want to talk to me because of finding my birth mom and think I have back stabbed step-mom in some way by not telling her and finding my birth mom. I haven't spoken to them for a year. I apologized to step-mom in private and then went home to play the victim.
My birth mom is great and we have a great relationship and do not regret it one bit.
Now, with the holiday's coming up I find myself feeling sick and depressed. I have been thinking of them and all the hurt they endured towards me and my immediate family. I am trying to figure out if it is anxiety that I have or depression. I feel sick to my stomach and feel their knots all the time, I'm feeling sad and sometimes think of departing the country or even life, not sleeping well. Seem to be up a few hours a night.
Can someone tell me is this Anxiety or Depression? I don't want to be on medication either any suggestions. Please help.
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
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"don't be a hate hole" has been one of my recent mantras which seems to be escaping my mouth more and more often. it emerges when i am faced with the endless list of chores i would rather not deal with. insurance. head lice. bureaucracy. in-laws. the list goes on and on and on and on, ad infinitum.reality checks requested. am i making sense?"ever'thin they is but loving leaves a rust on your...
What you have done here is important first step in healing. With anxiety, learn how your physical symptoms affect your ability to think clearly. With depression, know that line which you can tolerate, and where you may need help pulling your thoughts back on track.
This group is a wonderful group!
I have generalized anxiety disorder with social phobia, chronic mild depression, and am in cognitive behavior therapy treatment to manage the life-style changes I've had to make for better physical strength.
Keep your well-being first. Glad you have an excellent relationship with your birth mom.
When it comes to marriages that are based upon "blame-plays", there is no simple solution, other than to not play it yourself, minimize your physical contact to comfort zones (one family I know meets at a public restaurant, a public park, and keep it short). When a parent puts their adult child in front of them to take the blame for something they've done, hidden, or otherwise not been truthful about, it can create a backlash for the adult child own children.
Stay hydrated, give yourself a specific time to handle these thoughts, and the rest of the time they pop up, stick them in the box.
I hope this helps. Best wishes in your healing.
As far as depression and anxiety, I would go talk to your doctor and let them know how you are feeling. Good luck and God bless you!
Thanks for all your kind support and responds.
@vannahcom You only know a bit of what I endured under the hands of my step-mom. She by the way is the other woman that cheated with my dad whilst married to my mom. I know I have done the right thing to back off and work on myself. Honestly, I really try and then fall back to where I started, miserable. My husband can't stand being around me anymore, because I just seem to take it out on him. So I just give him the silent treatment for a week or so to figure things out. Thank you.
@mideyebrow You are absolutely right. I am grieving in a sense I don't have much friends because I am a stay-at-home mom that has devoted all my time for family. All my weekends were visiting in-laws or my extended family no room to make friends. You are quite wise in your conclusions of disorders and agree with all of them. You have given me something to think about. Thank you.
@e4now I want to do therapy but from my understanding they are quite expensive and my insurance doesn't cover much. Thank you for your help.
@ratman143 Absolutely right I try to make everybody around me happy and concentrate on doing the right thing all the time that I forget what my needs are. I need to do more focusing on myself.
Again, thank you all for this warm welcome and am glad to join this wonderful group. Would love to hear about everybody stories.
God Bless!