Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
at 3.5 years after the tradgedy which launched my second parenting career, perhaps the most frightening part is the absolute dependence on my husband. i will be 84 when the baby (now 4) graduates from high school. i don't see myself accomplishing that as a single parent and it would devastate me to see my only grandchildren lost in the foster care system.
hubs and i were living in different states when the children were first seized into protective custody by cps. that writing had been on the proverbial wall for long enough that i set up my new house to accomodate the two eldest children. the third was a surprise package who was born into protective custody. at that point, i was planning to care for my gk's as a single parent. i wasn't planning on divorce, but i wasn't counting on ever living with hubs again. between his long executive hours that kept me forever on the someday shelf and his executive drive to "fix wifey" when he wasn't busy being busy, he wasn't any too easy to live with.
alas, cps doesn't work well across state lines. an important thing both hubs and i still had in common is love of our gk's. i couldn't bring myself to move back to the urban homestead which held our near divorce experiences. i settled on the family farm about 90 miles north of the urban homestead. hubs eventually worked out the details to work remotely so that he could join me while we worked together to get the children out of foster care.
3.5 years later, our little ship of fools has stabilized and the sacrifice is looking like a good investment. hubs's control freakitis still reemerges on occassion, but he has been doing remarkably well on working his own issues rather than driving wifey to help. there is no clear or present reason for my fear, but still it lurks and rears its ugly head every time i brush up against a busy exec intent on "fixing wifey." there's no shortage of those encounters here in our busy world. fixing wifey might be the world's oldest sport among manly men.
just venting. . . today i leave the mood icon squarely on "okay." just plying a little preventative medicine. repressing fear is especially dangerous for my volatile nature.
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
Here with you amiga listening. You make sense to me. I promise I will continue to lite candles for you
*i wish I could write better but I’m not me rite now because the PMDD ....
but I want you to know I’m listening & care. I remember years ago writing under your posts (or maybe journal) when you were on the road I think; or you were camping by a river. & we were talking about animals in nature. It’s crazy how much life can change in such a quick time.
For what it’s worth I think you’re doing amazing. I admire your strength
Sending you support & hope & Big hugs <3 <3 <3
Strength is doing all this, while admitting the feelings within that cross from circumstances bringing this situation to a life shared with love, courage, bravery, strength, willingness to the childhood experience together.
Amazing is awesome!
You rock!
thank you, mid. just doing what needs to be done. letting god lead the dance.
yet wise to be able to project into the possible future like that.
It's probably helped you have the successes you've had in life
for your ability to forecast what ifs and yet you are also doing wellness for yourself just to write it out here and vent..it's health giving.
The way I read this - the grandkids were a unifying force for you and your husband. I hope that's a blessing that feels good
amidst all the tragedy...if yet there's tenuous elements to it all..
life always seems tenuous, especially folks battling mental health challenges....
....keep on keeping on ... big hug!!
I agree with lil missy and Mid! You are strong and amazing!
You're stepping up and stepping in too.
I am just remembering a Suze Orman special I watched a bit of on PBS. If anything happens to you in the future - I think you might want to create some kind of living will or something like that.
Kids are not able to inherit money until they are adults but with a will or some kind of legal mechanism - if you get it created - can overcome that law. Sorry if this adds fuel to the fire - just
wanted to share as much help as possible.
Peace and big hugs Arfie!
you are spot on about the gk's being the unifying force for hubs and i. i'm certainly here for the privilege of being hounded by a pompous executive armed with pill bottles and expert advice. keeping the focus on the children keeps him too busy to treat me like a do-it-yourself project. 3 kids can keep you busier than a board meeting. or is that a bored meeting?