Sorry you've been "Triggered." For what it's worth, the PTSD forum has a very unique way of using that word and it doesn't translate so well outside the feminine PTSD circles.

I've lived through extreme poverty and don't much care to get into the debate of who understands how much of those hardships, not even with the 10 siblings who lived those hardships with me, but in my own strictly personal herstory, worry escalates to anxiety and anxiety spreads to other areas quicker than a seasonal flu. Plying anxiety management tools at the worry stages has solved allot more of my anxiety snot knots than money ever has. I still can't hire people to endure, much less remediate my cPTSD flashbacks for me.

Sorry for your "Trigger Woes.." Gentle commiseration and support while you ride out your "Trigger." Healing hopes for all, no exceptions.

Perchance, is it good news that you loved your Daddy enough to grieve his death? My own Daddy wasn't that well loved. My sibs, etc.. and I were all relieved to have him gone, at last. No love lost. He was a publically charming fellow who was a monster at home.

Arfie, thanks so much for reading and for the response. You're right, I love my father very much and to clarify, he is still alive. But after that night, it was many more years of finding doctors charitable enough to treat him and collection agencies coming after us. Because I was home and picking up the phone, they would leave their threatening messages with me. I still have to deal with this as both of my parents age. I don't even like to mention Obamacare because the things people say break me down in ways they don't understand. I'm fortunate to be able to take care of my children and myself, even as a single mom but worry I'm helpless when it comes to my parents. In any case, thank you for listening and believing me. I will rest today and keep moving on.

Great news that your father survived the ordeal and is still with you, Zenith. I am still guilty of envying people who love their fathers. Works in progress on forgiving my father far enough that I can think of him without fantasizing Satanic rituals on his grave. Hate is like drinking poison while waiting for the other person to die. The man is already dead and I still can't seem to give up that poisonous hate habit toward my bi-sexual, baby raping father.

For my political nickel, the biggest problem I have with Obamacare is that it is based on a fatally flawed system. I have boycotted my "good" insurance for allot of years (before Obama) by going cash and carry on my medical services. Between my husband, my VA disability and my SSI, I might be one of the best insured people on the planet. My plumber seems to care for more about my strictly personals than my "Health Care Providers." If cash and carry is not an available option, as it often is not, I leave the office or hang up immediately. In the *good insurance* medical plans, one doctor always leads to another. Thanks, but no thanks. I don't much like waiting rooms and the "Age Related Tests" my insurance company is hounding me to submit to require ALLOT of waiting room time.

One of the best gifts we give ourselves is to "let it go" and write it out. That pain, never truly goes away from lack of money issues, when, where, who, what, and how they come in to current events.

It took me a long, long time to be able to go into a doctor's office and get the things accomplished I needed to without being stressed to the point of panic and anxiety.

When those thoughts/memories come up, I remind myself we are doing better today, and move on.

Good for you to share it and to recognize it's affecting your ability to be in today.

Best wishes.

Mid, thanks for the response.