Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
It is so hard to live with my ex sometimes. A person that I spent eleven years with that wants to continue being friends but hardly acts like I'm around in the same house. Now I overheard him talking to someone about making plans to go to Washington DC for whatever reason. Now the anixety, anger, and panic is setting in with depression and I don't know how to calm down at the moment. I won't go into the deep thoughts of my paranoia, if it is that, but I will say I wish that he would talk to me more and be open. Even if it's to admit he broke up with me to rebound. There's so much going on in my life right now, both my fault and never ending loops of doing the same thing with no results to further my life situation right now. At the end of the day, I just don't know what to do. When it all comes full circle, I feel like I deserve to be miserable, with a family that's broken and that I can't rely on fully when I am having this kind of anxiety attack, and nothing to show for forty years of stuggling to have a life of some kind. And before you say get help and therapy, that is my major issue. I cannot find the help to pay for it because they won't return my calls and don't take walk ins. To get the help, I get therapists who either don't take my insurance fully or are expensive and Psychologists who want to keep cramming me full of pills without listening to me. That central PA for ya' though.
Anyway, Right now, I need coping skill suggestions. I'm going to try a few things that have worked for severe anxiety like this but anything you can suggest that can help would be appreciated. I don't need you to understand my hurt and paranoia, just advice and suggestions.
-
I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
-
Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
my recovery has moved most securely when i move in small steps. i'm wondering if your next small step should be allowing yourself to be human enough to have extreme reactions. it's a species trait. we humans are reactionary critters.
on the therapy portion, my own therapy network consists of both pros and therapy peers. i have had some exceptional pro assistance, but it be my therapy peers who have helped me the most. i view my pros as reference books which never leave the library. my goal is to get them back on the shelf as quickly as possible. my therapy peers are the ones who help me translate all that psychobabble into real world functionality. they are there for me when the pros are not available for all the reasons (plus some) which you mentioned in your post.
Find methods that work for you in the moment. Figure a positive way to manage the '...'.
I think
I do understand the hurt though and I’ve been in difficult situations in my past that I felt at the time I couldn’t change
As far as coping skills. I think any self- care would help do something kind for yourself or any activities you enjoy that will distract you from the worry spend time with a friend or family if possible some extra special time for yourself. Anything to distract or bring you some moments of happiness.
It IS really difficult to get momentum for positive movement while we can't seem to move important things at all. So you are very wise to look at some small suggestions before moving on to those that are more involved.
Self care activities like Lighttheway and Serenityspeaks mentioned can be really useful things, time-tested by others to put you in charge of many improvements in how you do in the situation you are staying in.
Controlled breathing is a really simple way to have a small break from anxiety, and takes a few minutes to learn, a few minutes to do, and can give you enough momentary relaxation to encourage you get bits of energy to do other positive things (see all the great suggestions others have mentioned on this post as useful to them!). Google "controlled breathing" or go to YouTube to see a number of versions of that quick exercise. That is free, effective, but short-term.
Another helpful self-care approach to try to see how it works for you are Qigong or Yoga exercises, and many of these are ones you can find online (often with free beginning exercises so you can decide if this is useful for you), or often available in community colleges or some community activity centers at minimal fees. Those exercises are focusing and calming in and of themselves, but can also often lead to meditation which can take a lot of different forms and benefit by having a trainer of some sort (or you may feel comfortable looking at on your own via the internet or your other personal contacts). Your choice, of course, but trying some of these activities as part of an in-person class/activity does have the added benefit of potentially building additional supports for your self care and having a short break with those supportive people outside of your home situation. One introductory Qigong clip on YouTube I revisited today is at https://www.bing.com/videos/riverview/relatedvideo?q=qi+gong+youtube&mid=EF01A1C4711EB3BDB8A7EF01A1C4711EB3BDB8A7&FORM=VIRE
Life is SO complicated, but there are many caring people on this site who understand the struggle of customizing their own personal plans to cope with whatever cards you and they have been dealt. Seeing some bits of relief as you try small changes can really add up to being able to feel a bit better in a current relationship or find the energy and support needed to make bigger changes as well.
I also take guitar lessons via zoom, to help me forget.
Try to not over-think thing's, I know it's not easy.........Also. help's to tell Yourself, if I'm thinking about it, it won't happen.
Let GOD know all Your fear's and anxiety, Let him take care of it.
The only way remaining friends with a past partner is doable is if both people agree and have emotionally moved on. That doesn’t appear to be the case here. In my experience the reason one person wants to be friends is because they don’t have to be the bad guy. They think being friends makes it all good. I am friendly with one past partner but it only occurred several years after we broke up. There was no way I wanted to be friends right after. I needed time to emotionally heal and move on. You can’t do that with an ex in your day to day life.
Let him live his life and start living yours. Set some boundaries and emotionally distance yourself from him, if you feel you have to continue to live with him.