Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
i am 31 next month, i dont have a job experience, i am a nurse (not in US) i have a few trainings. i have bipolar and anxiety. ive been through a lot. i am scared of driving and i am trying to survive. i am often lazy. most of the time im scared to try things because i sued to fail a lot in the past and accomplished nothing. its hard but please read my letter to my frend. I want to gather advice to figure out what to do because now im kinda lost.
I have a few questions:
1. Do you think its better if I would minimize stress in life? By this, I mean not getting any work experience and just build a business on my own? I know someone who just loves to bake, she has a home business now.She doesnt have any bakery experience. She is an actress by the way. Anyway, I can't focus that much when I am anxious, and im scared of a demanding boss or job. I know someone who make cakes (for a living) at home because she is scared of people. I am not like that. But, I am scared of a demanding job. People yelling at you, or a demanding customer or boss. Conflicts. before my doctor told me not to "force" myself. Another doctor told me that ishould go on ( and be a nurse--which i dont like anymore) because everybody goes on begginer's anxiety. I dont know. If is should stretch myself. This are my options:
1. learn how to bake/go to culinary school/ practice at home/ build an online bakeshop/and eventually build a small bakery in the future/EXPAND-- this would not be stressful since i work and practice all by myself and its ok to learn and go to school. i would promise to START SMALL. is this possible? should i work on a bakeshop first? but, i wanted to be on my own. I am scared of being exposed.
2. work in a call center temporarily ( i cant work in a call center by the time im 50) EARN. SAVE. then go to bakery business- people are demanding in the call center industry. stressful, night shifts. is this healthy for someeone with mental illness? i went to school 3 times. the first time i panicked, i didnt go back, the other 2 times wer stressful so i quit. I just dont want tthis to happen again. But it call center you get regular pay.
3. be a make up artist--i honestly love make up so much but i am not sure, about the job offers. I have to build my portfolio and i dont have connections as of now. I am not sure of the pay. the regularity of the pay varies if you have customer or not. so i think this is not stable. maybe this is ok for side line what do you think?
They say people with anxiety have fears, you can actually fight this but i am not sure. should i get work experience or, just be on my own? Do you think im just wasting my time if i would practice making bread all by myself at home?
This is what I am thinking, the jobs here in the call centers others have a high pay, but, i think it would just be enough for our expenses. maybe you can save a little. Those are with US RN license. i dont have that. but i can get one. but, in local accounts, the salary is low. I think its not enough for expenses and youll not be able to save. So what if il stop working at 50? what now? But if have my own business, a few years would be a sacrifice, but eventually ul be ok with it. Am I making sense? Sorry I worry too much and I dont trust myself. My mom is retiring next year and my dad is retired. I cant afford to be idle anymore. maybe i need to work first? but how about my anxiety and not being able to focus? I am reaching out because, i know u have this too. And i look up to you becuase you are able and coping. While here i am drowning in self pity and resistance, its hard. :(
SORRY SOOO LONG!
SAM
I have a few questions:
1. Do you think its better if I would minimize stress in life? By this, I mean not getting any work experience and just build a business on my own? I know someone who just loves to bake, she has a home business now.She doesnt have any bakery experience. She is an actress by the way. Anyway, I can't focus that much when I am anxious, and im scared of a demanding boss or job. I know someone who make cakes (for a living) at home because she is scared of people. I am not like that. But, I am scared of a demanding job. People yelling at you, or a demanding customer or boss. Conflicts. before my doctor told me not to "force" myself. Another doctor told me that ishould go on ( and be a nurse--which i dont like anymore) because everybody goes on begginer's anxiety. I dont know. If is should stretch myself. This are my options:
1. learn how to bake/go to culinary school/ practice at home/ build an online bakeshop/and eventually build a small bakery in the future/EXPAND-- this would not be stressful since i work and practice all by myself and its ok to learn and go to school. i would promise to START SMALL. is this possible? should i work on a bakeshop first? but, i wanted to be on my own. I am scared of being exposed.
2. work in a call center temporarily ( i cant work in a call center by the time im 50) EARN. SAVE. then go to bakery business- people are demanding in the call center industry. stressful, night shifts. is this healthy for someeone with mental illness? i went to school 3 times. the first time i panicked, i didnt go back, the other 2 times wer stressful so i quit. I just dont want tthis to happen again. But it call center you get regular pay.
3. be a make up artist--i honestly love make up so much but i am not sure, about the job offers. I have to build my portfolio and i dont have connections as of now. I am not sure of the pay. the regularity of the pay varies if you have customer or not. so i think this is not stable. maybe this is ok for side line what do you think?
They say people with anxiety have fears, you can actually fight this but i am not sure. should i get work experience or, just be on my own? Do you think im just wasting my time if i would practice making bread all by myself at home?
This is what I am thinking, the jobs here in the call centers others have a high pay, but, i think it would just be enough for our expenses. maybe you can save a little. Those are with US RN license. i dont have that. but i can get one. but, in local accounts, the salary is low. I think its not enough for expenses and youll not be able to save. So what if il stop working at 50? what now? But if have my own business, a few years would be a sacrifice, but eventually ul be ok with it. Am I making sense? Sorry I worry too much and I dont trust myself. My mom is retiring next year and my dad is retired. I cant afford to be idle anymore. maybe i need to work first? but how about my anxiety and not being able to focus? I am reaching out because, i know u have this too. And i look up to you becuase you are able and coping. While here i am drowning in self pity and resistance, its hard. :(
SORRY SOOO LONG!
SAM
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I don't really know how to label this but I having a rough week and I can't say it's one thing.... I have a lot on my plate which is nothing new and I try to cope in many positive ways and do but I still have my moments.My kids more so my daughters talk to me about everything which I know it's cause of comfort and we are close.... however I really struggle with the venting about their dad which...
You mentioned you have nurse training, but not in the US. Are you living in the US now? I ask because opportunities and regulations are different in the US and other countries. For example, in the US I don't think you can commercially sell bread that you made in your home kitchen.
I can appreciate fears about driving, since I dealt with that for many years. I still don't feel confident about driving in congested city traffic.
I can also appreciate being afraid to try new things because you believe you have failed in the past. I am trying to learn to interpret past ventures as "incomplete successes" or "partial successes" or "steps forward," or "experiments that didn't give me the results I hoped for," or "wow, that was an unexpected and difficult lesson to learn," rather than seeing them as 100% failures.
You have to ask yourself: how much self respect do I want? I know that's a tough thing to say but it's the bottom line.
If you bail on the nursing without ever having actually done the job, you know you are selling out. You know this will have a bad effect on your self esteem, and you will weave stories around it about how it was necessary but you will know at the bottom that you chickened out and rationalised that.
Every single thing you do is going to be scary, but relying for your income on cakes baked at home is surely the most terrifying of them all. How many nights are you going to lie awake wondering if they will take away your house? Your parents are alive now, but they will pass on, and you will have to be able to provide for yourself.
I think after all this training you have an obligation to go and be a nurse for a 2 year minimum, and just get through the growth required, get through the beginners anxiety, get used to it, get on top of it, earn some self esteem and some confidence.
And then see if you still want to pack it all in and bake cakes. :)
I suspect you won't.
The man who is teaching me to drive said its like im thinking of other things when i drive. My focus is not intact. Thats why its like i dont want to get exposed, i just want to work on my own. But i need to make money.
You can train your mind to focus specifically. It takes determination, and effort, and is well worth the time you put into it.
Until you find focus as its own specific spot, everything else will be full of extra information floating around, so pick one thing, work it through in all directions, then go on to the next things.
Best wishes.
I think interning is your best bet. Try interning for a bakery and see if you like it. Gain experience too. You could even work part-time at a couple to see which you like best. Try it and see if you have the desire to continue.
If not, hook up with a student photographer and build your make up portfolio.
Best of luck!
I found sometimes we can trick ourselves out of it. Like my most memorable one was being too freaked out to open the mail. Even a bank statement when I knew what it would contain - couldn't do it.
But then I found I could open it while I was out by the letterbox. Before whatever it is got me.
I had an exam today. at 6am I looked at an old sample exam and panicked. just terrified. I forced my way through it, and the anxiety reduced. When I got to the real exam there was a little anxiety; but i had a 10 minute reading period and I just took it slow. In the end I was fine.
I think to live any kind of life will involve anxiety, although as we defeat things the stress levels lower. I am no longer worried about opening the mail, for instance. I can handle it.
Maybe you can try strategising with one issue or another? or at the worst, just hiding it. because you can't have an anxiety attack about the same thing again and again and again. You eventually run dry.
I would like to say too that the first six weeks at least is truly awful for any job. Absolutely awful. But that passes away. :)