Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I need to write down what is happening because I can't make sense of it unless I have it in words I understand.
I've started watching some new shows on BYUTV: The Parker Andersons and Amelia Parker. (They're connected) The character Amelia Parker struggles with Selective Mutism due to the trauma of losing her mother in a car accident. Because she doesn't speak, her father and new step-mom want to put her in speech therapy. When they tell her this, she runs off and starts thinking about the traumatic car accident she was in. The camera zooms out to show her parents sitting next to her and saying the four words she needed: "You won't be alone."
This hit me hard and I almost started crying which never happens to me. I feel such a connection with this fictional character. She struggles with not being able to speak. I struggle with not being able to express my thoughts and feelings verbally. Due to this, confusion and strife break out for her and me. My parents (please don't think badly about them) don't seem to understand that I am struggling. I am in the process of finding out who I really am in my research of Asperger's Syndrome. I am struggling with loads of Anxiety towards going to church and church activities (That's the only time I go out most of the time because I'm homeschooled). I went on my church website and searched Asperger's. I found tips for Aspies. One was "don't be afraid to ask for accommodations." I told one of the leaders about how I think I have Asperger's. That didn't work. I asked my sisters to tell others and she won't. So, what I'm planning on doing is have my mom help me make a shirt with a quote about Aspies. Maybe people will ask questions.
I really don't know what else I can do. I don't want to randomly go up to a leader and say "I have Asperger's Syndrome which makes me really anxious to go to church. Could you help me make friends so I'm less anxious?" I am too socially awkward and shy to keep a conversation going when they try to talk to me.
I talk to my family sometimes. My mom gets mad whenever I try to talk about it sometimes because she thinks all my research I've been doing is wrong and my dad think I can just get over it and talk to someone myself. My sister tries to force me into the situation. Girl's Camp is coming up in a few months and I have multiple reasons why I don't want to go. I told my grandma and she sent me an email that pretty much says "You should go to Girl's Camp because I didn't" or something like that.
It would just be nice to have an adult listen to me and not give up when I'm too slow and awkward in my speaking. One that would say "You won't be alone in this." Someone who will listen patiently as I ramble on about my special interests. One who won't be awkward and walk away if I randomly start crying (That happened to me once). I need a kind person who will make going to church seem like therapy instead of a prison.
Sure, it's easy to write things down. But it is 100 times harder to say it out loud. I wrote a letter explaining what I go through but as soon as I showed it to my family for feedback, they said it was too long and I realized how dumb an idea it was.
Does anyone have any suggestions or advice?
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Look at what my best friend did with my picture!
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We all have 24 hours in a day. How we spend these hours is important. Watching a little bit of a video about how sitting affects us made me aware of how much sitting and laying down I do. Gonna have to work on that.Your turn. Tell me another truth.
Characters in movies and TV are often based on archetypes or ideals vs how most people really are in real life which is a mixed bag, caring, complicated, messy, stressed, flawed, etc.
“Accommodations” are usually related to medical conditions and disabilities. It sounds like you are trying to make a case for needing special accommodations due to having Asperger’s but you actually haven’t been diagnosed. Why not spend time developing goals around managing social situations. In the meantime ask your mom or dad to make an appointment to see your doctor and then ask your doctor how you can start the process to be evaluated for Asperger’s.
I had a part time staff member who had Asperger’s. He was a young man who was hired through a work program for people with disabilities. He could only perform tasks/ processes that were three steps or less and he was limited in duties he could perform but he could do things like stuff envelopes, print labels, keep the supply room organized, etc. He came to work every day, repeated the same 5 movie and tv lines all day long, very ritualistic. Everyone was friendly to him, talked to him, said hello, etc. He enjoyed that. He wasn’t asking to be understood, or asking people to ask him questions about his Asperger’s. He was just himself, independent of what others thought.
Not everyone can dedicate themselves to ensuring we are comfortable and understood. Sometimes, we just have to learn to manage in the world in which we live and try to stretch and grow, despite our discomfort.