Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Not much is new but wanted to vent about yesterday. Lately I feel like I am caught in the bad part of a mental health cycle so I am just trying to wait it out. Yesterday was not one of my best days.
It started off okay I baked a pumpkin roll it was very good and I'll probably be making more soon. But after that my dad randomly brought us fast food. I made a mistake of eating ice cream so I was in pain the rest of the day. Also anxiety started getting worse at this point.
At the end of the day my chest was actually hurting a lot. I'm assuming it was from the gas because that usually happens when I eat stuff I shouldn't. I was pretty anxious at this point couldn't even play on my phone I had to lay totally still and breathe calmly.
But anyway my sister went to a party and was gone for a few hours. Apparently someone there told her that we went to school together and that I talked bad about her (my sister). Well I figured out who the person was and I do somewhat know them but we did not go to school together and I have never actually talked to this person. They just follow me online. So that made me feel very bad. Still trying to figure out how to feel.
One of my biggest fears is people not liking me and spreading rumours about me. When I was in my last relationship I was told that the people at my school were saying things about me but she wouldn't tell me what they were saying. She said it wasn't my business or something but it hurt so much and still does to this day.
At that point I hadn't been to school in like 2 years so I didn't think anyone remembered me. Even to this day I assumed no one said anything about me but I was wrong. I don't want people to talk about me or know I am here. So yeah that caused anxiety and probably still will. I just need to figure out how to handle the feelings it's giving me.
Apparently my mom crashed the party and my sister is very mad. Said that her friend will get crap for it at school and no one will invite them to parties again. I can't really wrap my head around that it sounds kinda dumb. Why would people be mean to you for something you can't even control? Sounds like those aren't people you should want to party with anyway.
But regardless she is upset. She even called my mom a "Karen" which was kind of funny. But how she explained it I think my mom was just worried about her. I always feel like I have to take sides with them but I can see the validity in both of them. Haven't heard my mom's story though. Apparently this is like a big party that happens every year though so I guess people will be mad that it was crashed.
I still don't understand why parties are desirable they are loud annoying and you have to deal with people. But everyone is different so maybe some people like that.
Anyway that is how yesterday went. Some good, mostly bad, lots of anxious moments, very fidgety just trying to keep myself from heavily spacing out and just feeling like crap I guess. I just woke up like 30 mins ago and I am already spaced out. I just want it to go away.
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
Congratulations on being able to spot and remediate your cycles. Great self-awareness. Everything in life has cycles, sunrise to sunset, season to season. Yea, they do get weary, but they have their beauties, as well. Knowing how and when to weather a storm is 9/10 of surviving that storm.
I don't much like parties, either. I straight up HATE the gossip which so often comes from parties, but the shrinks keep urging me to break my isolation and go to at least a few of them. I've even enjoyed a few of the parties I've nudged myself to attend. A few. . . I'm still not sure I agree with my shrinks that going to a party now and again is actually good for me.
Oh. When people talk like that, I just say thank you and step back. And this person follows you online to use as conversation 'gossip'. That's sad that the reason they follow you is not for friendship but for information sharing.
Frog, you're doing what works to help your well-being.
Arfie, you are so right about 'barbie' and 'karen' images. I remember a particular group of girls who were so mean even when they were being 'nice'.
Here's to finding a better balance.
Also it is sad that someone is following me just to talk about me to other people. I always wonder if people are really laughing at me whenever i post things. Idk I don't have the best self esteem.
I wouldn't say my mom is actually a Karen because she is a nice person and never causes a fuss unless it's genuinely needed. The girl my sister went with was trying to lie about where she was and my mom was upset so she just went in there and did what she had to to get them both home.
My sister is still being annoying about it going off what other people heard I have no idea anymore she won't stop talking about it and it's driving me insane.
Then we get to siblings in hyper-expressive mode. . . I hope you can offer her some of the empathy you might wish for, yourself, Frog. What goes around comes around.