Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Hiya everyone,
I recently had a call with a friend of mine and an aspect/moment of our conversation took me back and I thought I would share it on here out of curiousity and also for any reassurance I can provide it letting you know that your thoughts and experiences are your own and are worthy.
To give context, I've recently posted about the problems I have had with my living situation with my brother and how I have been struggling mentally in a mentally unsafe environment.
I had talked to this friend about the situation and they had said to me 'You sound like your brother has been physically beating you!'
To clarify I have not been physically abused, but I do believe, currently, that there is an underline level of mental abuse inflicted. The reason it took me back is that, for this friend, they seemed to have a tier system in what a reasonable response to certain abuse is, i.e. Mental abuse shouldn't result in the reaction I was expressing i.e. your reaction would be more understandable if you were being physically beaten.
After having a rough few days, I'm luckily in a position to have enough resilience to know that my expereince is still valid and important. Plus this is a healthy reminder for me to reduce what I talk to about this friend as frankly their mentality towards dealing with mental health situations often disregards the feelings themselves.
Admittingly I did have a brief moment of shame as instinctivly I felt undeserving of support but luckily it has not spiralled down. I want to let you know that it's ok to feel the way you're feeling, even if friends cannot fully grasp the concept.
Has anyone else gone through similar interactions?
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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First, I hope everyone is doing well, and continuing to fight that good fight! Keep up the great work on yourselves; I'm rooting for all of you!So, I started doing therapy at the beginning of the year, when I was in my most depressed state, but with my therapist, I made big changes and steps in the right direction. But, over a month ago, she couldn't take my insurance anymore, and I had to stop...
Or am I lost in metaphor again? That happens to me allot.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, Yes, I've had similar interactions and strive to just keep looking for the help I need without diminishing the value of the people who couldn't help.
In my head I'm searching for relationships (both platonic and romantic) where my emotions are valid (not that they had to agree but just acknowledge that my mind is my own).
Going with the village analogy, I guess, in my case the baker (though not knowledgable about whether loose screws need to be tightened) wants to help but insists that nothing needs to be done or that it's not a big deal. In fact part of them believes that these screws are so small that they could be a figment of my imagination.
You are right in that it doesn't make the baker a bad person but alas it is an unfortunate situation especially seeing as the baker wants to help but knows they cannot. I guess my only wish would have been that the baker believed the screws were real; but even asking for that seems like me asking for 'everything.'
Maybe I've taken it out of context but it would be interesting to know if people understand my statement.
As it happens, I come from a long line of literal bakers. Whether they believe the screws are real, or not, their talents are wasted under the hood of my car. Who wants carburetor grease in the croissants? I just leave them in the kitchen and look for a real mechanic. With promises to be back in time for dinner, of course. Those croissants are especially nummy when sprinkled with forgiveness and tolerance.
Always remember that you are your own strong medicine. And only you can be of great help to yourself. Surely, your friend meant no harm (thus the apology). And this person's advice is as sound as they could make it, you'll give them the plus sign for simply trying to help.
Like advice from your doctor, it may not always be right for you or something you can immediately connect to. Poor and insensitive advice is a common issue with all of us too, so this is indeed a shared problem for many others walking along the unpredictable paths of life. And when no person is trying to give us direct advice, there is no way to help; so we try, good or bad as it may seem. Sometimes we will be wrong or all wrong.
It's so unfortunate that you are hurting. However, you seem to have a beautiful way of understanding your friend. I admire you. Share a nice hug with someone today! :)