Background:
I believe I am a natural warrior. I came out of the birth canal fighting and fought my way out of the kiddie whorehouses until Army recruiters found me in the throwaway kid camps and gave me my first doses of training and discipline. They even gave me 3 meals a day and a bed of my very own. even with 299 roommates it felt like my first honest shot at life.

Standardized feminine empowerment advice not needed.

I am so sorry you had a day like that arfie. I can hear how this type of day can trigger you and work you up into a state. If I understand you correctly - I know how I can defuse a situation by just leveling the playing field and allowing the other person to have their say. Giving up power sometimes and being flexible can sometimes just let the whole mess 'rest' and reset sometime after that. I don't know if this is what you experience. I have not had a 'relationship' for over a decade now - so I am no expert. But see that fighting like that sometimes can lead you to say "well ok" - and kind of forgive the person. Does that make sense?

Yes, Mark, that makes sense. Perhaps even the very words I was looking for. In our most recent disputes, Hubs and I have been practicing a new dance step for our egg shell waltz. We call ^it^, "Bracketing." Instead of trying to sweep away the problem in a single sitting, we end the skirmish with brackets which allow us to revisit the discussion from a clearly defined point in a saner moment. Each of us defines our own bracket in our own words.

When I asked Hubby what his bracket was for this morning, he asked me to go first. "Communal Living Stress" I answered. Background for that bracket: we are attempting to discuss foster care for three young children while rooming with 2 bachelors in a small house which is old enough with enough problems to need remodeling from the piers up. It is feeling like grounds for a psychotic break in my psychobaggage car.

His answer was, "Workaholic psychosis." I nearly fell out of my chair on that bracket. He did add on that maybe I was right that a full time job and fledgling business was more than even *he* could handle.

Should I be ashamed for messing with his bracket by adding, "Even with a super wife giving up all her own dreams, *just* for you."?

Last night's therapy tool was a pit fire. There are powerful healing mysteries in those dancing flames. I am still feeling freshly beaten, but. . . Healing hopes.

I remember how pretty it looked where you live from the photos you posted a while back. It looks very fertile and peaceful.
Could a healing thing be to take a walk into one of those fields and make a picnic for yourself? Maybe bring a good book? and just lay on a blanket in the sun and read?

Thank you for the reminder, Mark. I do, indeed, need extra doses of Nature's healing mojo today. Sometimes not even my critters arenae enough. Sh-h-h-h. . . Don't tell them that. They doesn't need to know.

The cruel, dusty heat of the Southern Plains has arrived. We definitely need to move that blanket to a shade tree, but that is no great challenge. That very fantasy is a reminder that the two stock tanks with an unhealthy number of shade trees on the property have yet make it to the top of the renovation list. Did you know stock tanks can also get root bound? Girl, howdy, it would be sexier than a fashion diva if at least one those tanks had potable water which had already been stocked with fish. Just dreaming. . . Still river dreaming, too. This state is bigger than a hefty percentage of the world's countries, but there isnae a navigable river in the entire state. Subtropical rivers are mostly lazy and shallow, in general. Geophysics have declared it so.

Thank you again for the healing hopes, my fellow questioner. They are sorely needed and even more appreciated.

:-)