Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
part of me says this post is off-topic since i was introduced to the debate in creative writing class, but it is an important topic in my personal psychotherapy. there are many folks in my life who insist my silence can be used as a deadly weapon. equally, other folks have told me that when i bear witness to silences where words are not enough, i offer more comfort than words possibly can. so i've been told. taking that on faith has been one of my psychotherapy trust exercises. if you say so. . . in you i trust.
it is far easier for me to see and evaluate my responses to other people's silence. i have my theories as to why, but simple observations get me further than theorating on the whys and wherefores. in this go-round, i find myself wanting to list the different flavors of silence and to take inventory on how i respond to those different flavors. in the interest of small steps, i'm starting with a bare bones list. an outline?
1) the anxious silence.
2) the awkward silence.
3) the thunderous silence.
4) the serene silence
5) the joyful silence
6) the meditative silence.
7) the dissociated silence.
there are probably more, but. . . itsy bitsy baby steps. . .
am i making sense? thoughts?
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Hey All...I hope that you have a lovely, peaceful beginning of your weekI have a bunch of chores that need doing but may put them off til tomorrow and just hang out with my landlord/roomie todayWhat about you?...Anything special going on?Have a great day and take good care of you!!..Xo
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
Here's to finding how to make it work effectively for any situation!
Hurrah! for you to have shown it in this way.
or how to support the person, I try and support in some way in the way that I can. Like pushing the heart like button
or sending a hug. From my own history of not knowing how to respond sometimes and looking at the silence given me and not knowing why others
don't respond (or have responded in an unlikely way), I've realized that's empathy to me.
Allowing for friends and loved family members be themselves....Isn't nice when someone responds in any which way? (I can imagine a therapist pointing that out to me.) Even if it seems in the person's message a kind of communication that doesn't feel right - even so,, I'll try and adjust my perspective to take it as 'well they were nice enough to respond but they may not want to communicate so much or be a friend or whatever'' Ok enough said..I just try and find the silver lining to my own behavior and others'. Peace (hug)
Sometimes my husband mistakes my silence as sulking. It’s actually me taking some time to collect myself so I don’t completely blow up.
Oh and what about punitive silence (aka the silent treatment). Fortunately that one isn’t in my play book but I know people who do it.
i'm kinda proud of some of the progress hubs and i have made on finding new approaches to those awkward silences between us. we've had a few snakes jump out of those eggshell piles in recent weeks and we've been able to deal with without the domestic tit-for-tat skirmishes. maybe one day we will be able to sweep those eggshell piles off to the compost pile so that the snakes won't have such comfy hiding spots?
maybe one day. . .
I’ll just say my husband and I at times lean into silence more than we probably should. We both come from a long line of repressing feelings and also blowing up. Not a lot of middle ground sometimes.
There are times we clearly have so much to say but we know those deep pain points in each other and in ourselves all too well. In those times, silence almost feels like a kindness.
the awkward silence of repressed conversation is not even close to the same thing. the anxious silence of those dangling conversations get my feet to itching. i still don't like constant chatter, and i reserve the gypsy right to wander silently away, also. hubs knew i was a gypsy when he married me. planet earth is my home. no, dear, i cannot promise i'll stay on this continent.
however, the advent of our second parenting career sure put a ball and chain on that coping mechanism. i don't think our three orphans can handle my silent wandering away and chasing a 3 year old through a dangling conversation is a preview of hell.