the name i use for that affliction of feeling something bad is going to happen is, 'hypervigilance." i got the name from the pros on my therapy support network and it resonates for me. once hypervigilance kicks in, it can be harder than hard to turn off. one adrenaline rush leads to another in rapid sequence. as its effects escalate and accumulate, i can find clear and present danger in most anything.

hypervigilance causes me to project and/or self-sabotage allot. it's not me. . . it's that danged butterfly that flew left when i thought it should have flown right.

but that is me and every case is unique.

continued support while you figure your own case.

Thank you arfie, I appreciate your input and continued support.

I apologize to all for being a pain.

I don't have anything to add but sending you thoughts of support. Do what you can to take care of yourself.

Never think of yourself as a pain. We're all here to listen. You don't bother us! : )

further encouragement to never think of yourself as a pain. pain is a condition to be worked through, not a character trait.

be gentle with yourself and patient with the process.

frequent posting encouraged. working through the pain takes what it takes.
hope healing happens here.

Change that phrase, 'being a pain' to 'being able to share' and know here you have support, understanding, acceptance, and help to heal!

I will and thank you all for your support.

It’s just like Mid said Marian. I’m giving you the same advice I gave ChristianWhovian: you have heard the expression “you are what you eat” in terms of being physically healthy, well, when it comes to mental health, “ you are what you think.” Turn that “being a pain” into “being able to share.” And I’ll add an extra phrase, instead of “ I can’t” , turn it into “I can do this.” We’re all in your corner. We know you can do it, you just don’t know it yet. One of the most profound things I can remember someone saying to me was in response to me saying “I have no faith.” She replied, “ then we will have faith for you.” That has stuck with me for over 30 years.

Hi all, I am new here and just checking out some posts, and what an amazing place of support, so wonderful to see!

Marian, I'm sorry you are going through so much at once. I struggle with anxiety and sometimes I feel that my problems overwhelm me and feel too large to handle. I also struggle with worrying about the future and how things will turn out.

Like many have said here, positive self-talk has been very helpful to me. Also anything that focuses me in the moment, like grounding exercises, meditation, or just reminding myself "I'm here right now, doing my best" can make a difference.

Your ability to share what is going on is inspiring, as I struggle with talking about my issues due to social anxiety and shame. I know I don't really know you but sending support and I can relate to the feelings you are having.