Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Hello.
Anxiety isn't anything new to me, but lately it's gotten to the point where I just feel that I needed to connect so that I know I'm not alone and that what I'm feeling isn't what my brain tells me it is (imminent death).
This anxiety episode seems to be going on day five. It all started when I got my first COVID vaccine dose on Friday (the 16th). I took my son to get his and I decided to get mine as well. I was fine with getting it, but afterwards I felt my anxiety go up. It was scary, but I calmed down. I experienced the sore arm, a mild headache on the first day. The second day I woke up out of sleep in the middle of the night with terrible stomach cramps. Had diarrhea, and that lasted until the third day. Come the following Monday I stayed home from work just in case. No issues. Mom calls me and says that grandma is having heart failure and kidneys shut down.
Tuesday I go to work. No problems, but I noticed my heart rate was a little higher than it should be.
I go to sleep, and this is the last decent nights sleep I've had since. Wednesday morning I get another call from mom. Grandma has passed. So I spend the day with her. No pulse issues, really. No anxiety.
So then Wednesday I'm getting ready for bed and I have a bad nightmare. I wake up and take a drink of water, go to the bathroom, and my heart is pounding. I'm hyper aware that my pulse is fast, my breathing got faster, and I was panicking. I could not calm down. I tried deep breathing, I tried distracting myself, I even went for a drive-and considered driving to the hospital. I returned home instead, and eventually turned on some rain and thunder sounds from YouTube and laid back down, but never really found sleep.
So all day Thursday I'm still just anxious. Felt like I was on the verge of another attack, and that made me more anxious. My heart rate stayed elevated around 90-100bpm. That afternoon, I decided to go to the ER to make sure I wasn't on the verge of a heart attack or something. No heart attack, just a very fast pulse which averaged to 126bpm (which was caused by more anxiety about being there and all the beeping and the fact that my pulse was already fast as hell. My blood pressure was high (not news), and again I just couldn't get my HR down. I could speak just fine and hold a conversation, but my anxiety just wouldn't go away.
The doctor prescribed me metoprolol for the blood pressure and heart rate and for the supposed calming effect. Friday and Saturday were both not good. I felt the same as I did Thursday but was able to distract myself. My heart rate never got below 84. And that was only when I was in bed. Sleep was not that good those days. And again had an episode of diarrhea, as well.
Enter Sunday. I was having some issues again with the anxiety. I finally got my beta blocker and took my first dose at dinner time. My wife and I talked in bed after dinner for a long time, watched our show and after about an hour and a half I could tell the beta blocker was working. My heart rate was lower (mid-high 70's) and I felt a little okay. The anxiety was still present, but not as severe.
I was able to fall asleep, but woke up after about 3 hours. I was not able to sleep after that. I tried meditating, breathing, sleep sounds, whispered story, the Breethe app, and cuddling my wife. I don't think I was able to fall asleep again until after 3 or 4 o'clock. And even then the sleep was not good. The dreams were all anxiety inducing or just dreams that put me in very dire situations.
So, here I am. Monday. First day after starting my beta blocker. I was able to go to work, anxiety was still off and on throughout the day. More diarrhea, slight headache, and just an off feeling. Mental and physical exhaustion. Pulse stayed between 78-90 bpm. I think at least one time it was above 100, but not for long.
I'm at home now. Just trying to relax and not get anxious about sleeping tonight.
I'm so sorry for how long this post is. I think I just needed to put my experience into words again. My goal was just to find out if my five day anxiety fit is abnormal? Or if anyone has or does experience the same kind of feelings. It's very scary and I feel alone and isolated. I don't like it, and taking this prescription makes me nervous.
I don't have much of a support system in place. I try and hide my anxiety from my kids, and my wife does what she can, but I'm sure it's overhwhelming for her.
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It is our brains, and the brain then creates the chemicals, and the chemicals create the physical reactions. It all starts with those thoughts, whatever those thoughts are. It really is about being in a place that no matter what happens our thoughts don't hijack us. It's the lizard brain - the amygdala - taking over the frontal lobe. Trust me, knowing those facts hasn't helped me during the moments where I need it to help me most.
Therapists are very helpful until we reach that point ourselves. I speak to a pastor and to a therapist. I think she's a LCSW. I'd prefer a clinical psychologist. I'd really, really prefer to have my brain in complete check.
Blessings.
You've taken the important first step in writing it out.
Practice even breathing, to help you find the calm in the moment as needed. Stop, pause, breathe, option, until you are able to think clearly will help you sort through the information you are processing.
Anxiety is a natural helper and so when you find the 'normal' range that works for you, use that to help you find balance as needed.
You have experienced significant life stress events, so taking the time to process calmly the feelings, emotions, thoughts, words, and choices will help you find the better balance.