Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
My wife was happy for 65 years and 33 years of marriage until we encountered problems finding a new house plummeting her into a deep depression with accompanying anxiety, accentuating thyroid problems.
We have a dinner with two close friends and spouses scheduled tomorrow. Last time, we had a nice time and my wife enjoys their friendship and enjoyed many days and walk together.
However, her new anxiety, Anxiety Jenny, hates when my wife is potentially happy. Whatever problems she can cause anxiety Jenny is happy, frustrating her from doing things she loves and getting her well. If my wife would like to organize things in our house and make vacation plans, Anxiety Jenny convinces her to just lay in bed and be depressed.
Since my wife has not confirmed arrangements and I see her anxiety at work, I won't be surprised to see her cancel at the last moment. That we will miss the friends' company, do nothing, confirm depression, damage a friendship, is, of course, no concern, to Anxiety Jenny who enjoys screwing up regular Jenny's life along with mine.
People may say, just let her do what she wants, but in other areas, I wouldn't sit still, when say, someone decided to drive 90 miles per hour, start an argument with a large drunk man or do something else to hurt themselves. Just trying to figure out what to do.
Obviously one of the most challenging things in dealing with anxiety is that when you get mad when someone is damaging their life and yours, they usually don't change and get more anxious. People say I need counseling which is surely true, but I'd like to figure out how to speak with my wife, something I've done over 3 decades, and have constructive discussions, something that is frequently impossible with her anxiety.
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Hey all, i know its been quite awhile since i posted on here. Its been a summer all right. Its been something else........... You know how they say not to open the can of worms? Well a few months ago i decided to find out what my due date would have been for my first baby, the one conceived by r***. My baby would have been due on March 4th of 2006. They would be 20 years old. I was R**** on June...
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My day...today...misplaced my debit card...didn't realize it until I got to the register after shopping to a full cart. Used a different debit card and pulled apart everything looking for missing debit card before I left parking lot. Got home, dropped keys. So now I have a missing debit card, missing keys. A full cartload to unload and put away. I got everything put away.Dumped purse for a...
Outside insight often brings a significant improvement.
When this situation came up for us, I was given two choices, one was to do things as planned, the other was to be present and the idea worked. Once I said yes, that was it.
In other words, just because she is displaying those ..., it does NOT change your plans. We did this, and it is a challenge well worth it since this friendship is a welcome distraction from the usual pattern.
curiosity question. feel free to disregard.
did that house sale, perchance, coincide with your retirement?
Yesterday, she cried and talked about how she messed up everyone's lives, and we had our usual discussion where I said nothing is messed up permanently, we can go on, let's just concentrate on the future and do the best we can, which Anxiety Jenny simply ignores. The counselors diagnose her as a perfectionist who disappointed herself.
My wife has no thyroid but did well with medication for 20 years other than some weight gain. She's now lost the weight, so be careful of thinking that being slim solves everything.
It was a little strange yesterday. Two hours before we were to go, I heard my wife crying, and she said she ruined everything, strangely that seemed to help, and she was pretty calm and even had her picture taken. But when I asked how she decided to come, she said I don't know.
The perfectionist label can be misleading. For a 1/4 century, she was happy and easygoing, loved by family and friends. She was positive and patient, and any perfectionism was internal. It's not that she's been unhappy, but the opposite, she said she was very happy and ruined things with the move. Indeed therapists like her but after a little while they notice she downplays problems rather than discusses them,.