My head feels funny from ruminating.  I have been off for weeks.  Last night, I was texting with my best friend, who is a very jealous soul, and she wished something awful on her boyfriend.  Maybe two months ago, she predicted something awful about her boyfriend's favorite granddaughter.  I thought it was outlandish but then it happened.  She called it "great news".  Weeks later, she said "I hope she loses the baby".  That is so ugly.  I can't imagine being so hateful.  Then I started getting mad about a situation where she told me to go eff myself the two times that I spoke of my diet.  I could not discuss it at all.  Thank God I had my brother and Aunt supporting my mission.  Now she has been on her own weight loss mission and I hear about it constantly.  I am supportive.  Proud, even.  I'm also ruminating about a guy friend who popped out of the woodwork about a year ago after not talking to me for a year.  He is extremely oppositional.  He prefers rainy days to sunny days and let's it be known how happy he is when it rains.  Ugh!  I almost got into a bad accident in the rain last week.  I was so mad at him for saying he likes driving in the rain.  He gives me every detail of his caretaking of his girlfriend.  I hear about every appointment, every test, every ailment, every medication dosage change, etc.  He also brags about all the fighting that he does for her with her doctors and insurance.  It is a weird relationship.  She doesn't speak English.  Then he tells me that the students at my school who don't speak English should learn the language or leave the country.  What?  So I am also upset that I never finished decorating for Christmas.  I have been so tired.  I didn't even get to the look at the ShopRite circular until this morning.  The sale ended today.  I have so much to do and my energy problem continues even though I'm doing better on Keto.  My brother is another story.  He keeps making plans for us to go out to dinner with a friend and I do not need to be eating carbs.  He also totally monopolizes conversations with boring trivia, stuff about his friends who he idolizes, his customers (48 years of that talk), putting our youngest brother and his family down, telling others private details that should not be discussed.  Since our Aunt was moved further away, we go together to visit her instead of meeting there so I get an earful from the moment we leave his driveway until he drops me off later.  So I need an outlet and I think I need to go back into therapy, but not with my former therapist.  i need someone stronger and more opinionated.  I am overwhelmed.  I did not accomplish my NY Resolution, mainly because I was tired.  Some of that was my fault for cheating on Keto for 6 months.  I am angry.  I need to sort that out.  Thanks for reading!