Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I don't know what else to do. I've never told my story except in private to counselors. For me, I can trace my anxiety back to one night. We were smoking pot at a friend of a friend's house. I was kinda nervous around girls and shy. I guess it's because I never saw them as persons; I saw them as objects. Not that I used a lot of girls at all, I've only ever been with two. But I guess I was trained to see girls as something to conquer or to "get with." Anyways, I was nervous already just going to the girl's house. We smoked pot and I got even more nervous after. I remember trembling while on the patio and shooting pool. I don't know why I was so nervous. Anyways, I walked in from the patio to the Florida room and passed a girl on the way in. She said, "quite chilly outside" and I thought I saw her glance at my crotch as she said that. In my mind she was insinuating something about the size of my genitals. I was fully clothed at the time but this was my thought. I sat down and felt very small. I swore that the other people in the room were making insinuations about me. I left the house and my friend came out and we went to another girl's house. I remember putting on a longer shirt in order to cover myself. Ever since that night, I've had issues with social anxiety and especially with how I look in pants. That was 14 years ago and the anxiety and insecurities are still with me. I was insecure before that night and that's probably why I had that thought in the first place. But it didn't affect every waking moment as it did after that night. I've seen counselors and psychiatrists but no one has helped me feel normal again. My self confidence is extremely low. I don't really know what to do. I hope I don't offend anyone with this post. Now you can see why I have only shared this in private. The nature of my insecurity is something very personal and I don't even know if I should post it here. I just want to share it because I don't know what else to do.
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My day...today...misplaced my debit card...didn't realize it until I got to the register after shopping to a full cart. Used a different debit card and pulled apart everything looking for missing debit card before I left parking lot. Got home, dropped keys. So now I have a missing debit card, missing keys. A full cartload to unload and put away. I got everything put away.Dumped purse for a...
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I don't really know how to label this but I having a rough week and I can't say it's one thing.... I have a lot on my plate which is nothing new and I try to cope in many positive ways and do but I still have my moments.My kids more so my daughters talk to me about everything which I know it's cause of comfort and we are close.... however I really struggle with the venting about their dad which...
What I mean is... and I'll be blunt since you opened up so much, at least I should too. Here goes-READER DISCRETION ADVISED AGAIN:
You say you've been with two women but have you (or should I say they) had a good sex life? I mean I can't imagine if you treated them like objects they were too thrilled with you. And for women sex is highly emotional, meaning half of it takes place in our head, some in our heart and only a little in other places.
And another thing, I don't know if it's really an issue or just your anxiety, but the best sex I ever had was with my ex, who was also the smallest. It seems to be more important to you men than us women.
Now, I'm going to quit before we get kicked off this website or something-just couldn't stand to see you feeling so bad-and couldn't think how any other kind of answer could possibly help you. Take Care
I have 5 brothers and 5 sisters. However warped my childhood, I believe that even ratio has given me opportunity to see just how much gender plays into these psycho snot knots. More and more I believe we are letting haircuts and costumes fool us. Whether we are agonizing over the size of our ding-a-ling or the size of our teats, the common factor is that we are agonizing over things we cannot control and assuming what we have been conditioned to value is natural truth.
There is no universal norm, Asuncion. Let your freak flag fly. Keep letting that truth out of jail. Stay brave. Stay true to you.
P.S. (attempted humor) I won't hold it against you that you are nothing but the life-support system for a penis. You can read all about that cultural assumption on chick pages of Facebook.
I also suspect the comment made that night may have been a joke. Kind of common knowledge that guys shrink in the cold independent of the size of their penis. I think she may have been making a wisecrack more about that then you and your specific body since it’s kind of universal.
I too prescribe you letting your freak flag fly. No one is paying as much attention to us as we assume. That’s our inner voice lying to us. Quit listening to it.
What people say about you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the them. It’s really as simple as that. Words can hurt for sure. But that doesn’t mean they are gospel.
You can actually decide how to take things other people say. It seems impossible but it is true. So if you choose to take what she said a certain way, you can absolutely also change how you take it now.
Vulnerable and exposed: it’s uncomfortable but in my mind far less uncomfortable than being eternally wounded by an offhand comment. Forgive her, forgive yourself for letting it wound you so deeply and start accepting and working towards liking and loving yourself.
I’m glad you shared your story because honestly once you start sharing, it kind of takes all that power out of those secrets and you find most people struggle with insecurity and vulnerability at times. It’s kind of part of the human condition.