I feel you on that, I hate when people constantly expect you to be joyful because it's a certain time of year, it makes no sense really and it's a lot to ask from someone in my opinion.

Thanks Enigmatic. I'm normally pretty happy and cheery, but it's this idea that there are constant miracles and magic and people reading your mind and coming through with exactly what you need. And on top of that (maybe because of that) there's the family conflict and fighting.

I'm just a fan of a more laid back, quiet holiday.

I think a lot more people in recent years come to realize how dreadful the holiday season really is. It forces you to feel a certain way and connect with certain people. It's a lot of pressure, a lot stress and causes highest anxiety.

I'm always relieved after the new year although that just means for me another year without children but I'm coping ...

I have found the freedom you speak of.
I decided to incorporate my own ideas of a peaceful, stress free holiday season.
First off, it is NOT the happiest season.....there are more suicides by folks that are lonely, depressed, and stressed. The expectations are high.....so I stopped having the expectations to start. I then felt that Thanksgiving and Christmas were to close and too hectic.....so I moved Christmas. I still don't get the concept of all the gift giving....it's stupid! If I want something I will go purchase it myself becuz others usually get me things I can not use. I don't need or want one more "thing" to dust. I don't wanna sound ungrateful....it's just I'd rather spend time with other ppl and have a nice dinner without the expectation of a gift.
My mom and I decided to NOT do gift exchange this year. Instead we baked a bunch of cookies and goodies and delivered them to the local police and fire department. We also did the angel tree at the mall.....we each took a few "requests" off the tree and fulfilled them :) It gave us both great joy to play secret santa for those in need.
We had a nice quiet christmas dinner that consisted of finger foods and a good movie. We drive around on christmas eve to look at all the pretty lights and decorations.
We have a very small family that lives about 1.5 hours away.
We will have a small get together on January 9th and we will only dote on my 5 year old grand daughter.....the magic is for her!
This way no one is rushed and it is stress free.

I love my own traditions and also being agnostic.....I make it more about love, peace, and doing things on my own terms....not what society dictates or expects.
I am happier doing my own thing and I really don't care if anyone likes it or not. This has helped banish anxiety in my life and has brought me happiness.
Oh....and my celebrating the holiday after the 1st of the month....I get some great bargains and I don't have to fight the crowds in the stores.

I'm not saying that what I do or believe is for everyone, but I am sharing some ideas in hopes that others can find their own traditions and ways to let themselves off the hook and find true happiness and peace....instead of dread and stress.
I also spread out the holiday spirit by doing random acts of kindness and giving through out the year :)
Why be good once a year for a few days.
Take care (((((((((Hugs))))))))))

I appreciate the commissurating. It helps to know I'm not alone in these feelings because at Christmas, I feel pretty alone in wanting everyone to calm down and focus on "peace" more than the frenzied spending and overeating of the season.

Thanks for all the good ideas Ms. Blank. These are really helpful!

I've heard a couple of people say they moved Christmas. It's a great idea because my kids often work on Christmas or want that day with their partners. It doesn't have to be on December 25th. Not all of it anyway.

I'm with you on the gifts. It used to be that you couldn't get anything that was a luxury during the year. People couldn't afford it. So at Christmas you might get an orange or some celery to eat. Maybe you'd get a book or chocolates. Nowadays, to give someone a luxury they wouldn't get for themselves, you have to spend a mint!

People give me stuff and I feel bad about giving it away but I don't need the clutter. I'm also in a bit of a weird place with my kids because I don't want them expecting money but that's really what they can use. So...do I just give them money? Or nothing? Just not sure. This year I gave them a few token gifts, but no money and I told them ahead of time I wasn't going to do the cash thing and I don't think they were happy. Not that they said anything, they're just both young adults and can use the cash.

Anyway, more ideas! You're helping me a lot.

I ignore St. Nick/Chris Kringle, all the materialistic, capitalizing BS, focus on spending time with family and friends (we too just enjoyed some small meals with a modest gift-giving, nothing crazy). This allows me to then think about the birth of Jesus and what it means, which is what it's really about.

What Jesus Christ means to me is WE should all be nice to each other. I was nice to others and noticed that others were nice to me and others over Christmas as well. This was short-lived of course. Now people are back to screaming, road-rage and running over each other on the highways again. But for a few, very brief days there, people were sweet to and considerate of each other. The niceness was nice while it lasted.

Reading through all these reminds me of the way the season has changed for some of us to reflect more of what we want to share.

Our kids came home for New Years, and we celebrated with simple games, one special trip out (the weather was raining rest of time), and staying up to see in the new years. It was not about presents. It was about being together after time away.

We turned down all party invitations this year from Thanksgiving to New Years. Getting together with those who we want to spend time with in January is easier and less chaotic.

Take time to make your traditions special to you. It truly does make a difference.

Here's to successful handling with anxiety in normal range for all of us!

Thanks everyone. Yes, I definitely got Christmas partied out this year. I didn't want to miss the gatherings because I enjoy them but it also was overwhelming.

Coolman, you so hit the nail right on the head. I was out today doing my normal routine for the first time since the holidays wrapped up and I ran into the MOST OBNOXIOUS jerks. I gave up and came home.