I had three different gynecologists randomly tell me a woman should have her first child before age 35 for best chance of success and a healthy baby.

I think if the first one goes well, you probably won't have problems having more children after age 35.

This is something only you can decide.

Does anxiety run in your family? Mother, father, siblings.... have anxiety? My biggest concern was passing anxiety on to my children, because it ran in my family, and part of getting certain anxiety, or depression, can be genetic. I have no doubt in my mind I got anxiety from my mother and that caused a lot of resentment on my part toward her until I finally just had to let it go.

I understand the pressure you are feeling. I also wondered if the guy I was with at the time would be good "father material."

I think your anxiety about this is normal.

Keep writing it out and sorting your feelings. Only you can decide what's best for you. Best wishes.

Honestly for me as everybody was different. When I was pregnant with my 5 year old and son who's almost 10 months old. I didn't have any anxiety or I wasn't emotional really as bad as I can get. I felt like I was on top of my game.

Yes I would get all worried with things going wrong naturally like any mom would but also because I had 2 miscarriages. But for wanting to have kids is what motivated me to quit smoking the 1st time because if I was going to carry a baby for 9 months I wasn't going to have a part of a risk of the baby coming out with birth defects.I was 32 when I had my daughter and 37 when I had my son.

For me I always dreamed of having a husband and kids. I'm so happy it came true. Even know I get anxiety I feel as being a mom it keeps my anxiety under control and people are amazed for how I stick with no when I tell my daughter no we would go into target when the terrible 2s were here they didn't last long I'd tell her she can have her fits because she was going to learn your not going to always get what you want when you want. My son and her I could get to sleep thru the night at 5 to 6 months old because I knew let them cry it out that only lasted 3 nights because if they were changed and were fed they had what they need if there sick its different.

You be amazed when there your own kids how strong it makes you and to even wanna be a better person toward other people. When your having a bad day and when they see you and look at you and wanna be held or hug you when there that little and have a smile they turn that dark and gloomy day into the nice and sunny day.

@GirlinCalif
Yes I have heard alot of doctors say the same thing about complications with having children after 35 not only to the baby but to the mother as well. My mom got pregnant with my little soster when she was 35. I saw her have to do so many tests. Luckily my sister was healthy. As far as I know only my sister and I have anxiety but my Dad has a drinking problem which might just be his way of dealing with anxiety.

@ Sweetgirl18
Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It really helped me feel better. I think its very beautiful and touching the love and joy your kids bring you. My mom had a miscarriage before me (im the oldest) at 12 weeks she told me something was wrong forgive me but I cant remeber exactly what she called it. But she said when she got pregnant with me the doctors had to give her injections to save me. Im wondering if this is hereditary and something I should bring up to my doctor when I do get pregnant.

I would sell my soul for a way to accurately predict my future, but that luxury is not available, at any price. No matter how much research and planning I do in advance, it always seems to boil down to rolling my dice and taking my chances. If you want to hear the gods laugh, tell them your plans.

I coupled both of my pregnancies with psychotherapy. My first pregnancy (unplanned during my second year of pre-engineering) triggered me into PTSD flashback hell and that psychotherapy was essential to surviving the shock. My second pregnancy was four years later and considerably less of a shock to my system, both physical and mental, but the psychotherapy sessions helped hold me steady through the angst of pregnancy.

But that is me and every case is unique.

Gentle support while you work your own case. Sort freely. Sort often.

Listening. . .

Addendum
This is a good set of questions to bring up with you OB/GYN. Trust your pros. Little things make big diffs and those pesky details have entirely too many variations in the old mother circles. It doesn't get any more personal than pregnancy. Keep it personal and trust your pros for guidance.

@arfie
Wow! Truer words never spoken. Life truly is about taking chances. I also wanted to thank you for sharing your story and the great advice.

Rh factor is now checked during pregnancy. It requires an injection.

One of the things to remember about anxiety is that it is natural, it is a part of you.

What you choose in pregnancy options is between you and your information health-wise shared with medical team and partner. The more open you are with your medical team, the better prepared you will be, no matter what may happen.

Age is a public factor used to provide information 'in general' for pregnancy. Many people have successful pregnancies throughout the later years of menstrual cycles.

Best wishes for you.

@Mid
Thank you so much for the great advice and support. I have been opening up to my partner about my anxiety and I think its a great Idea to share it with my doctors. The support Im getting here is amazing and really making me feel like with the right plans set in place I can have a healthy pregnancy.

Being a First Responder, I can relate to how everyone here is responding to your post as I can only say through experience is to be honest with your doctors and making sure that your Primary Care physician sends all your medical files to your OBGYN and to make sure you try to remember all the past and present medications you are on or were on. The more information you give to them the better the outcome for your pregnancy, This way your doctors will take every precautions needed for a healthy pregnancy and a healthy MOM to BE. As a precautionary measure you will be placed as high risk pregnancy and sent to a hospital that is a level 1 natal care unit that handles any situations that may occur during your pregnancy not saying that it will happen but as a cautionary measure. I wish you luck in starting your new family

I was 32 with my daughter and 37 with my son. All went ok. In fact, I never felt better than when I was pregnant.

While I also worried about depression afterwards, I didn't experience it. I loved being able to see, kiss, and hold my babies.

I know my obgyn looked at all the meds I was on and helped steer me towards safe options.

The lack of sleep really did me in..... I think that was the hardest part for me.

That said, it can be a wonderful, beautiful time in your life. Embrace it!

@acorn551.
First of all thank you for what you do. Wow I did not know about the level 1 natal care unit. Thank you for sharing all this wonderful imformation. Its really brought my anxiety down.

@ Bluejay96
Im so happy you had a wonderful experience. I hope to have an experience similar to yours. Thank you for the word of encouragement .

I worked with a prenatal psychiatrist and was on medication with both of my pregnancies as well as after ... it is safe but doesn’t to your doctor about which ones are safe ... it’s a big deal to bring a child into the world and it’s true people have perfectly healthy babies well close to 40 so I wouldn’t worry so much about that, one thing at a time... maybe you have one and you both are happy with that