Write it out, and sort it out. The more you express it, release it, the easier it will be to work through all the feelings, emotions, thoughts, words, and images.

I know the back-to-school anxieties are soaring at my house. My two oldest foster kids are starting elementary school next week. So far the school district contact has been more about adhering to marshal law than educating or even caring about children. Grumbles from the masked factions hint that another shutdown could still happen. How do you spell insecurity and lack of confidence? The whole thing do, indeed, feel like such a puzzle. Is the real-time socialization of children still a good thing?

Gentle support while you work the puzzle on your own case.

Starting teaching at school again, after how everything was last year, would certainly cause nervousness, I would imagine.

Get things prepared the best you can for that first day.

Regarding your other post.... are you going to stay on the 20 mgs Lexapro for now? Just my two cents, but going off the Lexapro completely might be a little tough to do at the same time you are starting teaching again. Going off of an SSRI can cause mood swings. Changing the dose around also causes your moods and anxiety to fluctuate. Not sure if you are going to stick with the consistency that you mentioned in your other post. At least for now. You have new stressors starting next week. I am hoping after school starts, you will be feeling better! Best wishes!

Thanks everybody! GirlinCalif- I think I'm going to stay on the 20 mg of Lexapro for now. I doubt it's doing anything (except hurting?) but I think I need to be on it for some consistency for a while. I have an appointment with my physician tomorrow, I'm assuming she'll increase my dosage of mirtazipine. I guess I wasn't prepared for the mood swings. It really sucks, last week I was feeling confident but today I feel like I'm going backwards. But I guess that's all part of it. Uggh....

Ask your physician tomorrow, but yeah, I would stay on the 20 mgs of Lexapro, if it were me. Until you get settled into teaching again, and you are feeling a bit better with your anxiety overall. Then you could talk to your psychiatrist regarding medication changes. Stressors + Medication Changes At The Same Time = Chaos! LoL.

I still think it's not the Lexapro that stopped working. That it is other stressors in your life that are happening, or have happened over the course of the last year, that made your anxiety higher. My opinion is it had nothing to do with the Lexapro. Again, just my thoughts. When I have high stress and anxiety going on in my life, I feel like my meds aren't working either. But I know it's just the stress going on in my life that's making me feel that way.

Take things one step at a time. Being prepared now, for school next week, will help you to feel less stress. Keep writing it out. Hope you feel better!

You may be right. The last year and a half have been awful. The amount of stressors we’ve faced have been unbelievable. I’ll make sure I tell my doctor what I’ve been anxious about in the past few days. Luckily, I’ve managed to prepare everything I need now I just need to prepare myself for being in a classroom again!

Waking early to anxiety is something I've experienced as well. It's like something in my body or unconscious mind decides, "hey, time to wake up and freak out." Mine would also typically fade by afternoon/evening. There are a lot of things that happen in the morning... the body starts producing cortisol to wake us up and get us ready to start moving, the mind can spin on all the things ahead of us, it's generally a stressful time of day even though we're usually not aware of it.

Be gentle on yourself while you go through this and while you prepare for a return to school. It sounds like there is "stuff" happening and generally, once it starts happening it needs to run it's course. Acceptance of the emotions and the knowledge that this will pass are things you'll want to keep in mind.

Sending peace and support your way.

I made the mistake of going off my meds for over a month. , no weaning off. My depression worsened and my anxiety increased and I had the first panic attack I’ve had in many years. While med free is my goal, I realized that the meds were keeping me together to a certain point. I guess it’s proof meds do help some, however, as I’ve mentioned before, they can’t change the thought process we have developed, only we ourselves can do it. So my intention is to continue meds till I get to a point that I’m confident enough to go off them, and do it the right way instead of my way.

Hi- I think being in the classroom again has something to do with your anxiety. How was your doctor’s appointment?

Hope things will go well for you. Please keep us posted. God bless you.

Hi again, thanks Eli_mom, my appointment went well. My doctor increased my mirtazipine to 30 mg and told me to stay at 20 mg for lexapro right now. She also encouraged me to use the klonopin if I need it to get through this rough patch. It’s really strange, I met with a group of new students today for an hour and had a luncheon with other faculty. For the most part, I felt great. When presenting to the students I didn’t skip a beat. My anxious, uncomfortable thoughts seem to return when I have too much time to think. When I’m distracted with teaching or my artwork, I feel better. I’m hoping my change in meds and my new routine at school will help me feel balanced again.