Right. This is perfectly normal.

You need structure and planning, which includes free time, play time, work time, cleaning time, hubby time and me time.

Me time has to be put at the top of the list. You work backwards from this. You don't leave it till the end and squeeze it into the edges. And that's the strategic error you're making. And that we all make till we hit the wall and our mothers or friends sit us down for this particular chat. :D

So: first of all, where is your me time? Your recharge time, your refeed time. Without this we develop anxiety, depression, feel trapped in flypaper, become stressed, moody, shout at people and generally don't behave the way we like to think we would. (This is why it has to come top.)

So pick your daily me-time. it might be a cup of milo and a chocolate biscuit while you watch the kardashians. I know my sister in law runs. She goes for runs and that is her special sanity time. For me, going to bed at 7:30 every evening with a book. I didn't have to fall asleep then, but I had to have at least 2 hrs a day of time I wasn't DOING ANYTHING FOR ANYBODY. :D Whatever chore hadn't been done by then? Tough titty. It would be there in the morning, but I was off the clock.

Whatever the heck it is, lock it in, and train the family to leave you alone at that time on pain of death.

And then figure backwards. Draw up a daily chart of how all the tasks get done. Work out your priorities. Is it more important the family all have separate gourmet meals to suit their individual tastes, or is it more important that the car gets washed and the floors mopped, or is it more important that the children be laughing and that you get your assignments done?

Figure out your priorities. Get your husband involved in this. Let him have his space for existence, somewhere near the top of the list. Sometimes you can double things up. EG social time for mummy can double with playdates. Exercise can double with playtime. There are things you can put together: but you have to feel your way through creating this because it all has to feel okay, emotionally, to you - or it won't work.

You may need to review how much energy you put into your daughter, if you play with her in an involved way all day; which is a modern phenomenon but unnatural. You can involve her in your morning housework. kids love washing windows, anything that involves a spray bottle and a cloth they're your man. They love it. And cleaning up is an important skill. Make sure your sprays are non toxic (vinegar and water, for example.)

Children need imaginative play and that happens best when they're alone. I'm not kidding. Playing with her dolls or lego in her room for an hour is perfectly normal and utterly fine. You don't have to feel obligated to interact, you can easily teach her, for instance, that your study/work time is 1pm - 3pm every day, and she can read a book or sleep or stand on her head for all you care, because you're doing your thing right now. Learning to accommodate others and keep herself entertained is a skill she will need as an adult so she may as well learn it now. (Within reason obviously! :D)

So yeah review. Look at your fears, look at your hopes, look at your time and look at your goals.

There IS enough time in the day for the most important bits if you have structure and have figured out what's important. There isn't enough time in the day if you're stressed, flexible, fighting fires and freaked out.

So there you have it. Being a housewife is quite a lot of work. it involves a lot of management skills and a lot of courage to just leave that mess on the floor and say 'nope, not a high enough priority today.'

As a Mom, I understand how you can feel so completely overwhelmed. It sounds like you love your child so much, and that you only want the best for her. Remember that you're not alone in feeling overwhelmed, and you're certainly not alone in worrying that you'll mess up your child. It'd be so much easier if parenting came with a book of instructions, but of course, that's not reality. Your child needs you to be at your very best. So as much as you are swamped, you need to find some time to take care of yourself. Is there a person you trust that you can leave your child with (even if it's for half an hour) so you can have time to yourself? Are there more things that your Husband can take on so you can get a break? Household chores he can take over? Even giving yourself a half hour to walk, take a bath, do yoga, can have an impact on your emotional well being. As far as daycare goes, it's a very scary thing for every Mama to have other people watch their babies. But if you choose a reputable, experienced daycare, you should really have nothing to worry about. Find the best place for your child, and over time, you will feel relief knowing that she is going to a great daycare. She will enjoy it, I'm sure. I worked in a daycare for many years (infant rooms mostly) and I remember the tears from Moms as they left their babies with me. But over time, I proved myself to them and they trusted me and their babies had a great experience, too. When I am feeling overwhelmed, I find that deep breathing really helps me. Breath in deeply through your nose, and blow out of your mouth. Repeat this process until you start to feel more calm. My best piece of advice though is to lean on others. Don't be afraid to ask for help. Family members, friends, they are on this Earth to help us when need be. I hope this post has helped you in some way. Please know you're not alone, and it sounds like you're doing a great job as a Mom and are experiencing normal Mom related anxieties. My best to you. Let us know how you're doing.

What has already been shared is important. Before you became a partner, a mother, a student, you were "you". It's simple to get into all the rest and forget "you". Take a moment to remember "you". That image is the one you want to use to give you a rest, a calm, a way to know you're able to do all the things you are doing, because you're "you".
Best wishes!

Thank you for all the kind replies, I really am appreciative that you all took time to do so. Deep down, I know every message is true, and I know there are things that I can do to help myself, but actually following through can be difficult. Again, thank you all!