Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I have a question that I need a parent's perspective on.
So I'm 21 and I'm in my fourth year of college right now. I have anxiety problems that I go to counseling for. I have been going to counseling through the health center since my freshman year. It has helped me tremendously, however, my anxiety has been bad since the end of the summer. I am just so tired of feeling so anxious, stressed, and upset all the time. I have spoken to my counselor about being put on medication for the anxiety. I had an appointment today and we spoke about it again and afterwards I made an appointment with the psychiatrist in two weeks. I met with him before and went through the assessment process to be put on medication, however, I decided not to go through with it because it made me nervous. Being on medication made it all too much of a reality for me and I wasn't ready for that at that point. Now, I am ready to accept it, because I can't handle it anymore. Part of me is still saying don't do it because in a way I feel like I'm giving up and letting the anxiety win the fight I've been going through for years now. But at the same time I feel so much relief that we had that conversation today and that hopefully in a couple weeks I'll be getting some relief from the constant anxiousness.
So my mom doesn't know that I have been diagnosed with anxiety. She doesn't even know that I go to counseling regularly. She knows that in the past I have gone, but she doesn't know that I still go. She also doesn't know how stressed and upset I feel all the time. I have tried to talk to her about it before, but she always gives me a response like it's just the point you're at in your life right now, everybody goes through times like this. I can't even explain how much those responses frustrate me. I don't think she understands how much I am really affected by this. When I met with the psychiatrist last year I told her about it and that he wanted to give me medication. My mom didn't like that idea and wasn't really supportive of it going back to the responses that I mentioned before.
I know I can make my own decision about this and I am going to. But I want to tell my mom about it. I just don't think she is going to agree with it because I don't think she understands. I'm nervous to bring it up to her though.
So my question is, as a parent would you want to know about this even if you didn't agree with it or fully support it?
Any advice is appreciated because I'm feeling a bit confused about all of this.
So I'm 21 and I'm in my fourth year of college right now. I have anxiety problems that I go to counseling for. I have been going to counseling through the health center since my freshman year. It has helped me tremendously, however, my anxiety has been bad since the end of the summer. I am just so tired of feeling so anxious, stressed, and upset all the time. I have spoken to my counselor about being put on medication for the anxiety. I had an appointment today and we spoke about it again and afterwards I made an appointment with the psychiatrist in two weeks. I met with him before and went through the assessment process to be put on medication, however, I decided not to go through with it because it made me nervous. Being on medication made it all too much of a reality for me and I wasn't ready for that at that point. Now, I am ready to accept it, because I can't handle it anymore. Part of me is still saying don't do it because in a way I feel like I'm giving up and letting the anxiety win the fight I've been going through for years now. But at the same time I feel so much relief that we had that conversation today and that hopefully in a couple weeks I'll be getting some relief from the constant anxiousness.
So my mom doesn't know that I have been diagnosed with anxiety. She doesn't even know that I go to counseling regularly. She knows that in the past I have gone, but she doesn't know that I still go. She also doesn't know how stressed and upset I feel all the time. I have tried to talk to her about it before, but she always gives me a response like it's just the point you're at in your life right now, everybody goes through times like this. I can't even explain how much those responses frustrate me. I don't think she understands how much I am really affected by this. When I met with the psychiatrist last year I told her about it and that he wanted to give me medication. My mom didn't like that idea and wasn't really supportive of it going back to the responses that I mentioned before.
I know I can make my own decision about this and I am going to. But I want to tell my mom about it. I just don't think she is going to agree with it because I don't think she understands. I'm nervous to bring it up to her though.
So my question is, as a parent would you want to know about this even if you didn't agree with it or fully support it?
Any advice is appreciated because I'm feeling a bit confused about all of this.
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
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"don't be a hate hole" has been one of my recent mantras which seems to be escaping my mouth more and more often. it emerges when i am faced with the endless list of chores i would rather not deal with. insurance. head lice. bureaucracy. in-laws. the list goes on and on and on and on, ad infinitum.reality checks requested. am i making sense?"ever'thin they is but loving leaves a rust on your...
Thank God that we have alternatives.
Embrass your meds, I know I did, and it worked wonders in my life. I have to admit that it took at least a month for my system to get used to it, so take the lowest at first, that's what I did,and then if need
be, up your dose.
In the words of the Dali Lama for people who are constantly worried....
If it can be solved, there's no need to worry
If it can't be solved, worry is of no use
Since you can't talk to you mother about this, why don't you print out what you wrote on this page and put it in an envelope and put it on your mother's dresser so she can read it. You will be surprised how when people read something they have a better understanding of the person that wrote it.
I can tell you have a great flair for writing, you know how to get your point across.
Many, Many Hugs
Here's one thing as a parent I've learned, I can not change anyone else's response, I can change how I respond and how I work with the information. When the usual response no longer fits, the situation changes, not always the way we wanted, however, it does change.
This bout with anxiety, is not a single time event. It is a game-changer for your lifestyle. Your goal is to be at your best well-being, and the first step is the hardest. Once your parent sees, without any buffers, the positive difference this change makes for you, they will be far more willing to accept that this is happening, through no fault of their own in raising you to adult (and parents do this...without knowing they do it sometimes).
Best wishes and glad everyone else has said "yes, they want to know, even if they act odd, indifferent, cold, rude, offended...because they are aware that something is up".
@AboveAnxiety Thank you for helping me to see this from her perspective. I don't think she fully understands how it feels and I know that unless you have these feelings you really can't fully understand it. And what you said about medication is exactly what I plan on doing. I don't want to take it forever, I just want to take it temporarily until I figure out how to handle all of this more easily. Although something I'm wondering now thinking about this is how will I know if the other things I am doing are helping to manage my anxiety if the intense anxious feelings aren't there anymore because if the medication.
@sky711 Someone else actually suggested that I write her an email or a note about this too. I know for me it is easier to say things in writing than it is out loud, I would feel kind of weird doing it that way though. I think maybe I'll at least write out my thoughts and what I want to say so that if and when I do talk to her hopefully my thoughts will be a bit more organized.
P.S. Please let us know how you are doing by keeping us updated, if you don't mind.
And I don't know how I would feel about having my mom come to a counseling appointment. I think I would be too uncomfortable with that.
I am a member of the anxiety group and since I joined I have received so much support and advice from everyone!
Thanks for the advice and guidance. I will keep you updated :)
Thank you @sara59. Your comment makes me feel a bit better about this. I want my mom to know, I just don't feel like I'm ready to try an explain it all to her. Right now I'm not thinking that I'm going to take medication. I Want to find out some more information about it first. Hopefully I'll be able to cope and manage my anxiety without it. Thank you for supporting me, it's difficult to get into the routine of making these big decision for myself.
P.S. I hope you are feeling better and have talked to your mother because I know that will just cause you more anxiety.
I'm a mom with two grown kids and as a mom, I would like to know about everything going on in their lives because I love them and want to be there for them.
THAT BEING SAID, they get to decide what to tell me. I'm a mom, but I'm also human so there will be things I don't understand or agree with. And there may be things they don't want to tell me because they know I'd be really upset.
As a mom, I feel part of my job is to understand that they won't share everything and it is well within their rights to decide what they will/won't share with anyone. I need to respect that.
In terms of the anxiety, I may have said this before but I had anxiety my entire life until just a few months ago when the doctor tested me for the MTHFR gene mutation. I have it. And the treatment for it is dirt simple and cheap. Since I started on folate and started avoiding folic acid I have not had ONE anxiety attack.
Coming out of the other side of this, I can honestly say there is no way someone who has never had anxiety can understand it. It impacts so many areas of life and I have the deepest respect for anyone going through it. The fact that we still accomplish so much even in the face of this horrible condition is a testament to your strength and incredible persistence.
Let us know how it turns out.
Panic attacks on the cushion, I can relate to as well, above anxiety. That was what drove me to have medication while I worked with CBT and it gave me breathing room to cope with the rest of the physical symptoms.
The doctor explained the stress to me, I am going to have it either way learning new techniques. It's up to me to point the brain and body in the direction I need them to go. Knowing the stress is part of the learning might help you make it through the process a little easier.
That gut feeling, good for you!
Please keep us posted!
@mideyebro maybe I'll consider meditation again. It was just very stressful for me the first time. But I guess it could be worth another shot.
I feel like I'm doing better now though. I go through phases with my anxiety and I think I'm coming out of a rough patch because I've been feeling pretty good the past couple days :)