November 2016. My boyfriend and I broke up from a 2 year relationship. We still had communication , still seen each other , hung out etc. one night I decided I wanted to try marijuana with him and I did. When I did , I had an anxiety/panic attack for the very first time of my life. I had so much going through my head before we smoked so I feel like that's what triggered it. I was soo hurt , mentally and physically damaged when he broke up with me. I've done nothing but cried my eyes out. But after I had my attack , I had a bit of brain fog and confusion. This lasted for a couple of weeks and I was back to normal. I December , he went back home to visit his family , during this time we've done nothing but argue every single day which caused me to be a bit depressed , couldn't sleep , couldn't eat , didn't want to go out etc. this lasted until January when I had my other panic attack. This time it was to the EXTREME , I told my ex boyfriend I felt the same way I did when I got high and he didn't understand me. I could tell he wasn't there for me at this time. I was so scared I thought I was going to die. This panic attack hurt me soo mad and made me open my eyes and say , this relationship isn't working. So last month, I met another guy , he was so sweet lovely , kind , and just made me soo happy. My ex found out and that's where we kind of cut off everything for good. I went to the doctor and she said I have Anxiety and prescribed me to Lexapro but I haven't taken it again but of the reaction I had after it. Long story short I just want to get better , I want to be the old me , I want to enjoy this new relationship because he makes me EXTREMELY happy but my anxiety is holding me back. I feel like I'm in a dream like state rn and it's scaring me. It's scaring me to the point where I had suicidal thoughts but I wouldn't act on it