Anxiety Support Group

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My Favorite Aunt

GreenEyes727
GreenEyes727

I think I've talked about her here before.  She almost drove me to a nervous breakdown about 2 years ago.  Anyway, she had a heart attack and the nurses never got her out of bed for two weeks and when they tried, my Aunt couldn't stand.  She went to rehab but became paranoid that the physical therapists were going to drop her and basically refused therapy.  Then she ended up at another rehab and then in the hospital where it was determined that she had greatly been neglected at the last rehab.  Then she ended up back at the first rehab and did pretty well.  She got sent home.  I was so happy for her.  Then she had to walk to the bathroom and couldn't make it that far so I grabbed the wheelchair with my brother's help.  Got her to the recliner.  She ended up in the ER but refused treatment.  I was so pissed off.  Finally, she was back at the rehab and when PT finished, she was put in the nursing home part.  Since then, she is extremely delusional and has hallucinations.  There is a whole bunch of made up stuff in her head, most of it dangerous.  She has conversations with people who aren't there, sees things that aren't there.  I have fought for her to be put on a higher dose of her meds.  Finally, a few weeks ago, her nurse said that she was documenting the things my Aunt was saying so that the psychiatrist could determine whether or not to up her meds.  Last night, the night nurse said that he didn't think her meds were changed.  Her kids rarely see her although one son lives on the west coast but did visit once.  So it's basically me and my brother who visit her, bring her things that she needs and root for her.  The moral of this story is to take care of your physical and mental heslth.

malibumark
malibumark
that is so good of you to care for your Aunt. Family is so important
especially in the years we start to decline.
That kind of trauma induced dementia is common. It happened
to my best friends mom.
You're doing wonderfully good for her.
Peace and blessings.
GreenEyes727
GreenEyes727
Thank you malibumark! She gets so mad at us when we don't believe her. She couldn't be at a nicer facility but she claims they put her outside and cut people's heads off, alligators and snakes are outside, she saw a man get eaten by a bear, her kids are dead, all kinds of stuff.
malibumark
malibumark
That’s very sad. God bless you for your patience and constancy. You’re doing what you’re supposed to do, it’s God’s work.
Community LeaderMid
Mid
I would suggest to agree with her or at least be calm. It's not going to change what she says - her reality is different from real life. One thing that helped us in a similar situation was to ensure regular hydration and the difference was immediate.

Respond with a statement calmly such as you're safe now.

Here's to you for continuing to work with your elderly frail relative and being there for them.
GreenEyes727
GreenEyes727
You're right malibumark! Mid, we do go along with some things that she says but when she demands that we pack her stuff up because she thinks she has to be out of there by a certain time, it's hard to go along with her. I think she has psychotic depression. Every time we go there, she asks me to go get her a cup of ice for the soda that she has me bring. I guess soda isn't the best thing for hydration. Thanks for both of your thoughts.
Bluebird20
Bluebird20
A little late, but I commend you for all the years you bvb stood by her, even though she is very difficult
hasty_05
hasty_05
We often love difficult people and dementia is very difficult. We went through alcoholism induced dementia with a relative and it was pitiful. Much like you describe. I learned not to argue with her. Just go along and pretend with them. I might tell her she leaves tomorrow or that the nurse packs her up in two hours. That is if she will forget she said that about leaving. Or I might say the new facility called and said the bed was broken and it would be fixed in two days. Anything said kindly to not argue and not be cruel. It’s not easy because we think we are lying but it’s better to make something up to keep her calm. Water is important. Maybe she’d accept a hydration or sports drink instead of a soda because the store was closed? You are a good, loving, kind person dealing with a sad situation. Do whatever makes her life calmer and don’t think you can make her think rationally. Give yourself a break also!
GreenEyes727
GreenEyes727
Thanks hasty! She always has water. She might not be right in the mind but she doesn't forget anything and always has an answer.
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