Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Hello all, It’s me again. My brother went missing on Tuesday, and we couldn’t find him for hours, he was drunk. We called him and he kept telling us he was in different areas, I drove around like a madman looking for him. And I had no luck. So we ended up calling the police for help… and then a few hours later we found out he was in the hospital, sleeping it off. He then got picked up by my parents, and brought home. This was tuesday night.
Yesterday, he got home, passed out in the yard, and started throwing up and turning yellow. I believe he had alcohol poisoning? I’m not too sure, but we called the ambulance and he was taken to the hospital. I went to see him later because of needing to give medical history and info on what else happened. But he looked bad.
He had to be intubated for his own protection. And to make sure he wouldn’t choke on his vomit. It was only me who saw him. And he looked… bad, a shell of a man I once looked up to. And I felt……. numb. I couldn’t cry, I couldn’t feel anything at that moment.
Then this morning, I got a call from the nurse taking care of him, and she asked me basic questions that all nurses do, (medical history, what he drinks, does he smoke, etc) but the question that got to me was “Does he have a will, a spouse?” and he has a girlfriend and two kids but they’re minors. And him and his girlfriend aren’t married. So I am next of kin, given it would actually be my parents but due to a language barrier well, it came to me. It’s so strange, to be the point person for an older sibling, having to be the big sister to an older sibling.
This feels like rock bottom, I hope it is his rock bottom. I want my brother back. I want to be the younger sibling again. I don’t want to be my own sibling. It’s just me and him, and I don’t want it to be just me.
How does anyone deal with this? How does one cope?
What more needs to happen so that my brother comes to the realization that he needs to do better and get help?
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
Most people won’t stop drinking / using substance until they are ready. I don’t know if anything you can do to make that happen. It has to come from within them. Other than helping line up therapy. The instinct is to take care of them but taking care of yourself must come first so you stay strong and don’t lose your own health in the process Hugsss
You are NOT responsible for your brother's choices and the natural consequences of those choices. It is NOT your problem.
In order for your brother to see the path to healing, you must step back and view the situation for what resources are available for him to choose ON HIS OWN.
It is hard watching someone destruct every single chance, choice, opportunity that is provided through "helping". It is hard to keep your balance healthy.
Keep yourself and your health first, including your mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual-that's the best gift you can provide to help your brother make his own choices, whatever they may be.
This sounds harsh but you have to allow him to suffer his consequences if he is going to get sober and stay sober. No chasing around looking for him. Let him be. He has to get bad enough I guess to want help. And right now your rescuing him may not be the answer. Perhaps it only prolongs the agony.
But you need support for doing that and changing how you think about this disease.
You said he had turned ynellow? That may be jaundice.
I had an uncle was an alcoholic, he was in Vietnam, which was the reason he drank,
He did get into AA, But, never stuck with it.
And my mothers uncle, he was an alcoholic, I have heard conflicting stories about him......But, was always good to my cousins and I we would go over to my mothers Aunts house, and always gave us Baseball cards, so I think tried to stay clean.
Good luck with Your brother.
steadying support while you continue to evolve.
hope healing happens here.
My father was an alcoholic since I was born and unfortunately he never stopped drinking. This is very daunting but sometimes we have to love the person from afar, to protect ourselves, to not get caught up in the lunacy of it all. It requires acceptance on our part that we can’t save them. They have to be the change. It’s incredibly difficult because alcoholism alters a person’s brain. They don’t have normal thought processes. So their version of reality is completely different than a sober person’s reality. They are in denial, make excuses, blame everyone else, etc. They are sick. And there is nothing we can do about it except to know their drinking has created a dysfunction with their relationship with us. . Everyone suffers. The alcoholic and the people who loves them.
Please look into Al Anon. It’s a great resource.
I’m sorry you are hurting. It’s really hard.
Do not sacrifice yourself and don’t forget you have a life to. I struggle with this with a family member and sometimes I just have to ignore it for awhile for my own sanity and i try to help when I can or they let me