Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
the f-word (faith) is really hard for me to talk about. i haven't actually kept score, but i have nary a doubt that i've gotten in more trouble for using the f-word than any of the "bad" words on the standard censorship list. but. . . navigating my traumatized little ship of fools through the covidic storms has been a long, lonely stream of leaps of f-word. unmasked, real-time human help still in questionable supply. this morning's read from "meditations for people who worry" got me wondering if i should find safe ways to talk about the f-word. for sure religious debates and evangilistic recruiting don't feel too safe for me.
testing, 1, 2, 3. . .
begin quote
FAITH/CONTROL
the surest sign of faith is when we feel a sense of peace and satisfaction, even before the issue has been outwardly resolved. then we can know we have put the issue in the hands of a power that never fails. -ANONYMOUS
when i do not know that there is a power greater than myself, i have not looked around me. can i control the clouds? can i make the weather change? can i force other people to be the way i want them to be? NO!
no wonder i get anxious when i believe that the outcome of every issue is up to me! even if i want to be able to control my universe, at some deep level i know i can't. what a terrible thing to do to myself to imagine that i can.
faith is knowing that after we have done what we can, there is a turning over, a letting go, a trusting beyond our knowing that relieves us.
my peace comes not from knowing what i can do but from trusting what i can't do.
end quote
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
Maybe it’s because I believe in the concept that “god” is in the heart and conscious of everyone that I feel this way. By having faith in myself I essentially have faith in a higher power because “god” is in me.
Reminds me a little of the prayer of St Patrick, except not necessarily in terms of Christ but whatever higher power one believes in:
Christ with me
Christ before me
Christ behind me
Christ in me
Christ beneath me
Christ above me
Ultimately I think peace comes from BOTH knowing what I can do and trusting what I can’t do.
Again, another interesting post, Arfie. Thanks for sharing.
you remind me of one of my personal favorite faith songs from sonny terry and brownie mcghee. "God and Man."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CjrxoqdiCEk
my own religious formation is what i call, "the schism of the isms." everything from atheism to paganism to whateverism. my birth family could and routinely did bash a child's faith that ice cream is yummy. fuck was definitely safer to use than faith. their faith bashing sessions were epic. then we get to the internet debates. . . those make my birth family's faith bashing sessions look tame. in my own herstory, atheists are the meanest evangelists on the roster.
i have been stalked by more than one over-zealous evangelist who bashes every faith except their own specific brand, including other brands of christianity, but their antics were fairly tame in scale of trouble i have gotten into for using the f-word.
I have faith that whatever I'm currently going through will pass because it always has before. I have faith my daughter is going to adjust to, and thrive in, college life because she is a strong and incredible person.
Faith can be a wonderful thing so long as it's meaning doesn't get usurped.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Cs3Pvmmv0E
one of my favorite cliches to help me respect religion while disregarding the spiritually handicapped is, "going to church doesn't make make a good ____insert pertinent religion here_____ anymore than going to a garage makes me a car."
my personal definition of faith is that faith is what gets me out of bed on the days that i have zero proof than anything is okay.
I like how you put that. It’s funny. I don’t have like extraordinary confidence or skills or anything like that but I always trust myself first and foremost and when asked what I believe my gut says I believe in me. It’s truly the only logical answer I know to give. It’s like if am able to trust and believe in myself (aka have faith in myself) it’s like everything makes sense, order is restored. As soon as I go outside myself, that’s when things get a little shaky.
It feels good to say that. I've been brave and strong. I'm capable of making good decisions. I have some brain and some skill and have handled some difficult things that have come my way.
And, I really like this Arfie: "when i do not know that there is a power greater than myself, i have not looked around me".
I have faith in the power of community too. But, leaning into that is a harder bit of work for me. I tend to isolate. I get discouraged by others. I feel afraid of putting myself out there. I can be selfish and not want to contribute. And these tendencies are some of what contributes to my feelings of lonliness.
I think faith is also about taking risks and like you quoted Arfie: "knowing that after we have done what we can, there is a turning over, a letting go, a trusting beyond our knowing that relieves us."
just believing. . . proof irrelevant. . .
"proven faith is not faith at all." ~anon