I been busier than a greased pig at a police convention. Mostly good stuff with the inherant problem threads woven in but weaving together delightfully in more ways than my arthritic fingers can hope to type up in the time available for journaling. I've been getting allot of compliments, but . . . My mistrust of compliments is one of my meaner psycho bad girls. They get me looking for the daggar the compliment giver is hiding behind her/his back. What ya buttering me up for this time? ? ? Cut to the chase, would ya?
This morning's meditation read from "Meditations for People Who Worry" by Anne Wilson Schaef resonated with me as a solid accent stitch to the complex weave of this past week or three.
He that has no ill fortune is troubled by good. ~proverb
Sometimes things going right almost feels like a burden to us. The pressure almost becomes more than we can tolerate. We are accustomed to the bad things, and we have even developed a certain amount of skill with and acceptance of the ups and downs that we have come to understandd as the process of life.
And when we have a long string of days and weeks when life just purrs along and everything goes fine, we get nervous. The longer it continues the more tense we get. Somewhere, deep inside, we keep waiting for the celestial shoe to fall and are sure that it will. The more nervous we get, the more we begin to pick at little things, pick at our family members and find fault withh those at work. If all this goodness has to come to an ed, we feel so much better knowing that we brought an end about ourselves.
Let's face it. We can shore ourselves up. We can stand a lot more good things than we think we can.
When we can "Let Go and Let Life," we can take a lot more goodness than we thought we could.
Dunno if I'm buying it. I think I am already way to far beyond my goodness tolerance. I'm feeling sugar charged. Thinking about scheduling a nuclear meltdown for Thursday, 3:13 pm.
I have had an uncle and former husband, who is deceased, incarcerated. It was a painful experience. My grandson could have been for heroin but mercifully, miraculously was not. He died in his addiction despite fighting it so hard. It has been the hardest thing I have experienced, even worse than my daughter dying from cancer. I have dealt with this by working with a faith group which goes inside...
I’m feeling very anxious and dicouraged. I feel a bunch of butterflies in my gut. I’m trying to get cleaning done, but I feel like I only fall backwards. I start to get ahead and then I get tired and take a break. I also have anxiety about unhealthy eating. I needed to find a place to get my thoughts out. Thanks for listening.