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Loving too much

matt9030
matt9030

The past couple of days I've realized that I love my partner unconditionally. She hasn't been treating me the way I've been hoping but nonetheless I still treat her the way I think she wants me too. We decided on a break together the other day and made boundaries in order to respect each other. But I've found myself writing letters to her everyday since then and I even made a piece of art about our love. My question to myself is if I'm feeling so mistreated and uncared for by here why do I keep loving her unconditionally? I can't help myself I guess and I wish I could stop it but I can't. Any advice or anything that could help me?

Community LeaderMid
Mid
Write the letters, make the art. Keep it private, as it's for you, not your partner.

Long distance relationships often have "breaks".

You are giving yourself kindness in putting the moments shared in memories as you process the changes.

Keeping it private will help you keep your balance as you make your way through the challenges.

Whether this relationship lasts, or it ends, you'll be able to move forward because you've expressed those feelings, thoughts, emotions, and that's a huge step.
Ash122
Ash122
I'm going through a breakup and have also written letters. They didn't get me anywhere or anything but more hurt.
doggy123
doggy123
ash - did you send the letters?
Littlechef
Littlechef
I'm not good in this sort of thing but may I suggest if you can't talk face to face keep doing the letters and try and explain how you feel tell her how much you love her does she read your letters and does she reply. Don't give up and keep strong.
Take care.
matt9030
matt9030
I haven’t sent any letters I just have them in a box right now. I’m planning to give them to her after the break.
emmaotter
emmaotter
Hello Matt,
I think that is a great idea! Hold onto all your “gifts” and give them to her once the break is over. Giving her space right now is really important so she can relate to her feelings and figure out what she wants. If you give too much during the break it could cause her to push away further. Hang in there and write it out on paper or on the boards! We are here to support you.
Emma
emmaotter
emmaotter
Also, you need to feel loved in this relationship and respected. You are in love and that is why you keep putting up with her. Let this also be a time for you to reflect on whether you want to be with someone who might be treating you poorly! It’s hard but so necessary during your break.

Emma
KimmyO
KimmyO
You might be trying to earn her love, and that can't be earned, it is a gift, given freely. Maybe you don't feel worthy to be treated right or are codependant? Are you seeing a counselor? If you can't afford one many churches offer it free to those who can't. Think of it as if that bad treatment were happening to someone you love dearly, would you let it go? Would you fight for them? You are that person, who needs to love yourself well, as you would another. Stand up for you, don't let them treat you like a door mat, or it will continue. <3
Prycejosh1987
Prycejosh1987
Love needs to go both ways, it seems you have power to dictate the relationship which is good but remember you have to get love back, she must do things for you too. If you feel its one sided make a complaint to her. God bless.
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