Yes, I think there is a definite link between anxiety and early verbal or physical abuse. I am always calling myself "stupid" in my head and this sets me up for all kinds of anxiety.

For some reason, I seem to become the departmental scape goat when I work in an office. In my life I am not sure which came first, out of anxiety I blame myself and it catches on OR the sharks can smell blood in the water.

And I believe we do suffer the same affects as we did back then.

Oh absolutely, Jeff. And please don't blame yourself for not standing up for yourself as a child. You did your best.

I think we're genetically pre-disposed to anxiety. There have been studies done where they have babies sit in a room in their car seat and they do things like pop a balloon, have a stranger walk by, gently poke the baby, etc. Some babies giggle or look around. Others cry and get really upset with any new stimuli that is unexpected.

So we're already sort of hard-wired to be sensitive neurologically speaking and can get overwhelmed more quickly than others.

I think parents who ascribe to the sink or swim model make anxious kids much worse. Parenting anxious children is tricky because it's a balance of giving them choices so they don't feel trapped but also providing enough guidance that they realize you are in charge and can handle things.

So parenting style has a lot to do with the degree of anxiety the anxious child will experience.

You can imagine, then, how someone with a sensitive neurological system would be deeply impacted by abuse. Someone looks at the anxious child sideways and it can send them into a tailspin. Screaming at them and calling them names? YIKES!

Personally, I think for the anxious child, verbal stuff almost hurts more than physical stuff. It sticks with you longer. Not that the physical abuse isn't horrible too.

I like a suggestion I got from a friend about dealing with bullies at work. She says that calling them on their behavior often stops it. Just saying, "Are you aware you're yelling at me?" or "Are you aware you're disrespecting me when you say that?" in an even keeled voice can throw them off because people rarely call them on it. It's a nice, fairly non-confrontational way to deal with it.

One way we can direct our anxiety to help us is by practicing how we stand in front of the mirror. By giving yourself physical relaxation techniques that you can use when you're facing a situation that brings you into anxiety levels, you can remain calm, gentle, and put the bully back in their place.

As I am learning, once I change my response, the outcome changes, because the other person's usual response no longer fits.

Best wishes!

Most definitely there is a link. I am a big supporter of the theory that childhood trauma's cause abuse. Most people think trauma has to be huge but it doesn't. It just has to make the child afraid for their safety. Being bullied as a child does make a child afraid for their safety. Growing up in an angry household will make a child afraid for their safety. A child having to have surgery can make them afraid for their own safety.

I grew up with a crap family and then was sexually abused by a neighbor for 5 years. As I have healed from all the trauma in my life my anxiety and panic have gone away.

I know you don't think what happened to you, and is still happening to you, is considered abuse... and according to the dictionary it may not be...but that's when I point out how you feel. Your feelings never lie and they are telling you that you have been hurt very deeply by people in your past and this coworker today is triggering those feelings and hurting you more. That's what matters - not the label - but the feelings. Heel your feelings (trauma) and you will heel your anxiety.

Take care

Yes, i absolutely can relate. I think some people have a proclivity towards certain conditions, and then our life experiences can make these conditions worse. I never stood up for myself for most of my life, and the few times I have there's been a lot of anxiety, fear and depression. I was taught to believe that I did not matter, and I existed only to make other people happy and see to their needs. I still struggle with this all the time.

I hope you have a good day.

wow, thanks all for your responses.
Reed's response hit home really well.