Start separating your sentences. By doing that, it will make it a lot easier to sort through all those feelings.

One of the things that you'll notice is that there is a pattern in the thoughts.

Try doing more in the moment focus and also check the things you are doing right. That will help you get through the mistake with a positive move forward.

Best wishes.

ah! I understand where you are coming from, its that inner critic! sigh, sometimes that critical voice has a point but it doesnt need to be cruel. When I get anxiety, I feel like I dont deserve good things etc. similar to how you feel. One way that im trying, is to practice self compassion. Say to the inner critic, I understand you are angry/hurt/upset over making this mistake, but right now making myself feel even more guilty by saying awful things to myself isnt helping. Sounds weird? it does take a bit of practice, especially when that critical voice is very dominant. Perhaps try it? see how it goes...
we all deserve compassion. Even though you know you made a mistake, its okay. you acknowledged it and give yourself time, forgive and practice self compassion
hope that helps!!

The process of making amends does quite allot toward helping me feel better about making making mistakes. Typically, an apology is enough, but amends can extend to replacing personal property or whatever is required to clean up the mess.

When I can't make amends directly (it happens) I most often compensate with some "Secret Samaritan" action. I do little things for other people in secret. If the beneficiary catches me in the act, it doesn't count. It is "Secret" Samaritan action. My most common Secret Samaritan actions are picking up trash (including dog poop) from people's yards and setting trash cans back on the curb in an upright position. Maybe moving a kids's bike out of the driveway. Little things that don't presume I know what other people need. Just obvious stuff. The whole world is better with less litter.

"Secret Samaritan" can actually be a fun game worth playing just for kicks. It really can be fun to leave the world a better place than you found it.

Thank you guys so much! These are very good tips and I will use them to help me through this and later mistakes I make. Also to arfie I like your idea of how to feel better even if you can't apologize or do anything for the person you wronged. I love being able to do little things for others and I think that's the best way to help myself through this.

Enjoy, Frogsoup. If you catch a fellow Secret Samaritan in action, be sure to bust him/her for their good deeds. Keeping good deeds a secret isn't as easy as it sounds and some of us kinda like getting busted every now and again. Bragging is a popular sport for a reason.

I agree and love the comment about doing the good deeds. Nothing better than to help your neighbor out. I've done the same things you mention - picked up the neighbor's dog poop, clean up the litter on the road that leads into the development, and also mow my neighbors grass without expecting anything in return.

There's something therapeutic about doing a selfless deed for someone else that gets you out of your own head even if only for a little while.

I agree with the good deeds! It's a good practice for a healthy lifestyle.
I would also like to mention that when I struggle with shame around a past deed Ive done or something that someone has done to me I usually am looking for someone to blame and in thus receive punishment. Which is part of our nature, we look for something or someone to atone for the misdeeds done by us or to us.
If we look to ourselves, we self-loathe and hate, which is shame and guilt having its way in us.
If we look to blame others, we become bitter and we hate them, wanting them to pay.
in either case, the misdeed is never really dealt with. It doesn't go away. Instead, it produces more destruction.

In many cases, we try to earn our own atonement by trying to be better, work harder, or promise to never do it again. But that leads to other forms of destruction such as perfectionism, workaholism, manipulation, and pride or devastation and depression when we fail.

What we all need and what you need is one who can truly atone for your misdeed.
You need someone who can handle the weight of your ,as I would call it, sin, forgive you of your sin, and set you free from it, so that it no longer defines you. You need Jesus, Jesus Lived a Perfect life without any misdeeds or sin yet He willingly was publicly shamed and died for you so that you can be forgiven from you sin and clothed in His perfect life freeing you from guilt and shame. He has taken the blame and has received the punishment so you don't have to.

You will never be able to do enough to remove your guilt and cover your shame through your own efforts. Only Jesus can do that for you. You will keep carrying the weight of this shame and guilt until you give it to Jesus. You can be forgiven by going to Jesus in faith and receiving his forgiveness. And overtime you are reminded of this misdeed you can redirect it in your heart to Jesus. I continually take thoughts of guilt and Shame captive and direct them to Jesus, reminding me of his taking of the blame and that I can live and rest in that. Hopefully that helps, it changed my life, if you'd like we can talk more just PM me