Welcome. No, you are not crazy. Have you thought about talking with your M.D. or to a therapist about your anxiety?

Well I am one of many who doesn't have insurance, so that's sort of a problem for me, and of course only adds to anxiety (ironic). My doctor is a woman I just met a few weeks ago, she prescribed the s.s.r.i., because I told her it had helped me in the past. I have been to two different therapists but they didn't help much. I think they may have just been poor therapists. I love the idea of therapy, if I could afford it and find a good one.

p.s. thank you for your reply :)

hi there--no, not close to "crazy" ...many therapists can see clients on a sliding scale fee. My therapist was very kind--even after I switched to an insurance that she didn't accept, she still let me just pay the co-pay as full payment to her. You do need to just look around. Psychiatrists are another entity...and I do think it might help to find one who could help you think about meds. But the counseling can help with figuring out everyday coping strategies.

Ah yes, the irony of needing help and not being able to get it because you don't have insurance - it's inhumane really imo. And I also understand not being able to open up to other people, that makes it worse as well. It's important that you know you've been here before and you can beat it again. In the end we can only count on our own strength. Has something set this off? Maybe you are dealing with some stressful crap better than you think!

You're not crazy. Sometimes things return but with a different twist so we have something new to work on. Going to a therapist is a great idea if you can find one that you can afford. My therapist is also my psychiatrist and she has allowed me to pay her the same amount since I started with her several years ago even when she upped the amount for her other patients she left my amount alone. It would help too if you could find a med that doesn't leave you feeling so groggy. Maybe you need to go down on the dosage? Talk to your doctor.

hey there,,i know exactly how you feel i have been through anxiety for years and even though it is better now there comes times when you feel like 'here we go again' wishing you could just switch it off and not have to deal with it anymore,,i truly believe that you will be able to reach the point where you can control those feelings with out any medication therapists or any of those things,, you are hopeful and i love that,, i too think in those times that i have done it before and i sure will do it again,,as long as you have that attitude your mind and body will help you to be strong

Nope. You're not crazy. Something is simply out of balance and that's all. Your body need more of or less of something.

I'm sorry you're feeling so crummy now though. It totally stinks to recover from something and then see it creeping back into your life again.

I know you don't want to "burden" your family with this so I'm glad you're reaching out for support and hope you have friends to lean on. That's why we're on the planet as far as I'm concerned - to help each other.

I would like to suggest you look into Vitamin D3. A lot of people with depression, have very low levels. I've taken anti-depressants in the past but nothing worked as well as Vit. D. And - no side-effects, it's inexpensive plus it's helped with a lot of other health issues I had.

You might also consider finding an alternative healer. They're often less expensive and willing to work out a deal or trade. And while MD's are fantastic, they have basically two tools - medication and surgery. But there are a lot of healers better skilled at working with chronic conditions. Acupuncturists, hypnotists, massage, yoga, meditation, reiki, breath work folks.

Finally, this may be clich but be gentle with yourself. I used to beat up myself feeling like "why can't I ..." do this or that. But we need to take our "human-ness" into consideration. Some people have anxiety. Others are deaf, have chronic migraines, are blind, have diabetes. We just need to accept our limitations and find the best way to celebrate and share our strengths.

Thank you all so much for replying, it has animated me so much just to read the responses. It's great to know that others out there are dealing with or have overcome the same issues as yourself. A lot of your advice I will try to put into practice, especially Reed31. I am so hard on myself and always have been. I guess I just expect a lot from myself because I know I am capable, but your advice to be your more gentle on myself is great. I often forget that :). Thanks again, I feel less lonely knowing all of you are out there too.

You are definitely not crazy. Anxiety is one of the most (if not the most) common mental health problem that people receive treatment/ help for. I think that you may feel alone because I think that's the nature of the beast but you are definitely not alone. I know I can relate.

Thank you Tiger Lily :) Since I have joined this site I have actually noticed a marked improvement in my mood. It's a nice way to expunge bad voodoo.

I am sorry that you are going through a tough time right now, but know that you are not crazy you just have anxiety and depression and that doesn't make you a crazy person. It is hard to live with anxiety and depression and it is true that it will never be gone from your life because it is a part of you so you just need to learn coping skills that will work for you to help get you through the day. I also think putting on an act for your family could also be adding extra stress to yourself. It is important to have support from love ones so you don't feel all alone. You have all of our support on here. I hope things get better for you soon.

Thank you Rskb3. I actually agree with you. Last night I decided to fill them in on what has been going on. I told them not to worry and that it's not nearly so difficult as the first time going through it. So hopefully it will help me to be more honest with them about it, and they won't worry too much about me :).

I know you've heard it from others, but YOU ARE NOT CRAZY. You are suffering from depression and anxiety and it sure can make you feel like you are going crazy! but you won't. I have been through this junk for 25 years so I know how you feel. After 25 years, I finally found a good homeopath who gave me different herbs and supplements for my anxiety. The first thing I took is Stress J (made by Naure's Sunshine). It is less than 25 dollars a bottle. You put about 15 to 30 drops in a glass of water (I've only ever had to put 15 drops) and drink. When I first tried it, I was in the throes of terrible anxiety brought on by a health issue and I thought I was going to go off the deep end. Within minutes, my anxiety was gone! I have never had anything help me like this, that's why I'm mentioning it to anyone who will listen. I felt the anxiety start to come back later a day later and I took more and haven't really needed it since then. I keep it with me, though just in case. And I have been on and off Prozac for 20 years and it has NEVER helped my anxiety like this. The best part is it doesn't make you feel sedated or sleepy. It just calms down your nerves. I'm still going through my health issue and this is the first time I've had a health issue where I haven't been in such intense anxiety that I couldn't function. There is a pill form, but I like the tincture that you add to water because it seems like it works really fast. To repair the years of damage that have been done to my nerves from anxiety, I am also taking flax seed oil, salmon oil, and two herbal supplements, stress relief and mood elevator also made by nature's sunshine. I hope this helps.
http://www.naturessunshine.com/us/product/stress-j-2-fl-oz/sku-3163.aspx

Good for you for telling your family. You will be much stronger with their support than you would be trying to hide it from them. I've used the "crazy" label on myself plenty of times when i'm feeling down or especially anxious. I know it's more complicated than that...but sometimes it just feels easier to accept the label. I know how you feel, and I hope things get better.