It's been a little while since I've posted and things have been... eventful? First a crazy spring snow storm. So, we went from nice, warm spring days back to winter in a matter of 24 hours. It's snowed twice since the storm and continues to be gray and cold, which creates a brooding sort of atmosphere for me. My daughter is zeroing in on the college she wants to go to and it's out on the west coast. I'm super happy for her, because it's a really good school and she seems pretty excited (and scared) about the idea of going out there. But, I'm also experiencing periods of sadness at the thought of her leaving home. It's kind of a roller coaster. I can be tearing up or crying for a while, then I can be really excited for her for a while, then I don't think about it for a while. It has helped me to see more clearly that I have got attachment issues that I've got to work on. That, and I have a really strong aversion to feeling "negative" emotions like sadness, so when those feelings come up it triggers fear and anxiety. I _really_ don't like feeling that way, but it's part of the human condition... for as long as I've tried, there's no escaping it, so I guess it's time to start working on acceptance. Then, just because that all wasn't enough, the mass shooting happens not too far from home. That doesn't trigger anxiety for me, just more grief and sadness and frustration. 

Anyway, it's been a lot. I guess the upside is that I've been working on identifying what I'm feeling and working with the emotion rather than just getting anxious and worked up because I'm feeling "something" that I don't want to be feeling.

Here's to hoping we can all find some measure of balance and peace in our lives.