Today was my work colleagues birthday. i thought it would be nice to get her a card, we dont usually bother getting each other anything but she had been talking about it so i thought i would be nice. however as usual when i try to do something nice i tie myelf in knots. For example i bought the card and then a wee plant. Then i worried that this was not enough but then i was worried that it woudl make her feel akward when it is my birthday... so i got her a small jokey ornament and gave her them in a nice bag with a nice card. however now i am worried that she will think i am mean as i didnt spend a lot of money . she did cry when i gave her the bag but i am worried she woudl be disappointed when she saw how little was in it.
this has bothered me all day. tonight she text to say thanks and then i get stressed as i dont seem to know when to end the text string if you know what i mean. i suppose at some level i feel that she wont really want to talk to me so i try to stop the conversation as quick as possible. i just over think everything, i wish i could stop it. does anyone else know what i mean ?
I have struggled with anxiety on and off since I was a teenager...as an adult, the occasions became more frequent. However, the last year and a half it feels like I'm getting lost in it. Sometimes I feel like I'm fighting to breathe because I'm being crushed and suffocated under all of the uncontrollable feelings of dread for what may happen. Rationally, I know that these are all "what ifs" and...