Hello... I have anxiety, depression, and PTSD. I'm in a new relationship, which appears to be the best one I've ever had. He is respectful of my boundaries, he is doting and affectionate, and he calls me every day if we can't see each other. He tells me I'm beautiful and that he's the luckiest guy in the world to have me. However, I can't shake the feeling that he's going to get bored with me, dump me, decide I'm not worth it, fall out of love with me, etc.
I know it's just a history of being rejected, and I know my feelings aren't necessarily based in the present reality, but I can't help it. I can't ask him for confirmation of how he feels every day, and I can't beg him to promise to stay with me forever. I have to be okay with him leaving me at some point. I also feel like that's not a good way to enter into a relationship with someone (expecting them to leave all the time.) I am getting more and more stressed out about it. I'm losing sleep, I feel like I'm on the verge of a panic attack all the time, and I've started pulling my hair out again. I know an anxiety attack is coming. It's just building up, but every way I can think of to stave it off isn't going to help me. I can't desperately essentially beg a man to give me a life-long commitment when we've not even been together a full month yet. I know I have to calm myself down before I do something crazy and really mess everything up with this guy.
Does anyone else experience this? How do you cope with these thoughts? How do you basically tell your anxiety to shut up?
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