Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I will try not to make this too long, but I am really struggling and am desperate for some advice. I am a 22 year old college student, and deal with anxiety (social anxiety and GAD), anorexia nervosa, and OCD. I am fairly sure I am depressed as well, but have never been officially diagnosed. I just started my 1st semester of junior year, but so far, the first week of classes has been horrible. I am feeling extremely overwhelmed and anxious, and do not know how I am going to get through the semester. My anxiety has never been this high in my life. I get this "brain fog" any time I am out in public, including in my classes, and am unable to focus on anything the professor is saying. I feel like I am not even attending class because I don't feel fully there. I don't have too many assignments yet because it's only the first week, but I've tried to do reading for my classes and cannot focus. My mind is constantly spinning with worry and I am unable to focus on anything else.
I also relapsed badly with anorexia last semester at school. I am now at my lowest weight, and feel more miserable than ever. I don't want to say my BMI on here in case it might bother someone, but it's extremely low. I am sure my physical state has a lot to do with my increased anxiety and inability to concentrate. My therapist, doctor and dietitian all want me to admit myself to a treatment center, but I've had a bad experience before and am afraid to go, for fear I will be trapped there. There is an intensive outpatient program near my college, but if I went to that, I'd be unable to attend class.
I've been debating all week whether to take a medical leave. I am a psychology major and love the classes I get to take, but I know I am unable to fully immerse myself in my studies with all this other stuff on my mind. I have only two years of undergrad left, and want to make the most of them. I can't do that when I'm physically and mentally unhealthy. I am also scared that I will fail my classes because my concentration is that bad. On the other hand, I feel like a failure for even considering a medical leave. I took one last year to seek treatment for anorexia, and made some progress, but relapsed right away when I started school. I don't want the same to happen again. I also worry that taking time off school is just avoiding people, which isn't good for my social anxiety, and will just make it that much harder to come back.
Another thing that complicates the situation is the apartment I am renting. I am using school loans to pay for it, but if I take a medical leave, will not get those loans. So that would leave my sister responsible for the rent (we share the rent), unless my dad would help out, which I don't know if he could. Either way, I'd feel incredibly guilty.
This was way longer than I intended, and I am sorry. I just have so much on my mind and want to make good decisions. I want to get healthy, but do not know if I can handle that and school at once. I don't know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
I also relapsed badly with anorexia last semester at school. I am now at my lowest weight, and feel more miserable than ever. I don't want to say my BMI on here in case it might bother someone, but it's extremely low. I am sure my physical state has a lot to do with my increased anxiety and inability to concentrate. My therapist, doctor and dietitian all want me to admit myself to a treatment center, but I've had a bad experience before and am afraid to go, for fear I will be trapped there. There is an intensive outpatient program near my college, but if I went to that, I'd be unable to attend class.
I've been debating all week whether to take a medical leave. I am a psychology major and love the classes I get to take, but I know I am unable to fully immerse myself in my studies with all this other stuff on my mind. I have only two years of undergrad left, and want to make the most of them. I can't do that when I'm physically and mentally unhealthy. I am also scared that I will fail my classes because my concentration is that bad. On the other hand, I feel like a failure for even considering a medical leave. I took one last year to seek treatment for anorexia, and made some progress, but relapsed right away when I started school. I don't want the same to happen again. I also worry that taking time off school is just avoiding people, which isn't good for my social anxiety, and will just make it that much harder to come back.
Another thing that complicates the situation is the apartment I am renting. I am using school loans to pay for it, but if I take a medical leave, will not get those loans. So that would leave my sister responsible for the rent (we share the rent), unless my dad would help out, which I don't know if he could. Either way, I'd feel incredibly guilty.
This was way longer than I intended, and I am sorry. I just have so much on my mind and want to make good decisions. I want to get healthy, but do not know if I can handle that and school at once. I don't know what to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Also, if you aren't having luck with a therapist, perhaps you two don't click? But if they are saying you should go to a center, perhaps that is a good idea? I'm not sure what happened in the other one, but if you had a bad experience see if you can research the one they are recommending. Ask about recovery statistics and their methodology. Not everyone benefits from each method. I prefer cognitive behavioral and now I have a contemporary phsych and take meds from a PsyD.
I would not worry about how other people will view your medical leave. The rent is tricky, but I am sure your sister can find another roommate for a short time. Sometimes you have to put your health first and ignore what other people say. I delayed my own treatment because I had this idea that I would be able to handle it on my own. Well, I didn't go into treatment for 5 years until I was literally unable to move or decide anything. I now wished I had someone almost force me to do it earlier. I hope I am that person for you. If you need treatment, go and get it. Don't wait because of what other people need. What about your needs? They should also be worried about what you need.
Also in the meantime while you wait for doctor appointments and things of that nature, try and do some yoga breathing exercises. They are very helpful for me at least when I have a panic attack or am about to. Some are ujayi breathing or the 10-10-10 tai chi breathing where you breathe in for 10 seconds (or whatever your lung capacity allows) hold for 10 seconds and exhale for 10 seconds and repeat and be sure to just focus on your breath. Just be sure and stop if you feel dizzy.
Hope you feel some relief soon!
On your days off maybe try to have low stress as possible just you music and books. People come in and interrupt be minimal in your conversations not rude just minimal they ask what's up say to them "oh just having a low key day"
Make doing homework as relaxing as possible.
Anorexia tends to be a world of black and white and perfection - feeling like there's only one way to do things. You taking a medical leave may inconvenience some folks but it won't be the end of the world and you deserve to take care of yourself.
I also had anorexia and was also a psych major. What I learned was that I do best in quieter, slower environments. You don't have to finish college on anyone's time-table but your own. Slow down if that feels right. That way you can really savor and enjoy what you're learning without the pressure.
And when you're ready to find a job, think about what fits for YOU.
Sometimes its not about figuring out how you can fit into what the world expects, what you feel you "should" do - it's about figuring out what you want - what's best for your unique self - and then finding a way to make it happen.
As far as your apartment and your sister there is pressure there however, there are always people looking to move, transfer, so it's not too late at all to find a roommate to help split the bills. Use Facebook from the school to seek a roommate or referrals.
The sad thing I had to say to my son who was depressed about having to take a medical leave was that it's only a semester and that if you're not able/capable to handle health/school then it will make things worse bringing down GPA or worse. A degree won't help you if you're not here on earth to use it.
What we did learn from this situation from speaking with administration is that my son took 2 classes; 6 credits online from the same university in order to remain enrolled!!! Had he not taken those online courses, he would have had to re-apply to admissions and being his GPA stunk most likely he would not have gotten back in. His GPA dropped from the previous semester because he thought he could handle everything on his own and life issues just snowballed.
I hope this has helped you even a little bit. Take care of you...you're young and you have a whole life ahead of you to live and enjoy.
I am still at a loss as to what to do. This is my 2nd week of classes - I've dropped down to 14 credits and have an evaluation for an evening eating disorders program tomorrow, so I could do that and school. I just feel like the eating is barely my problem...my main problems are my anxiety, OCD and depression. I am finding it hard to get up in the mornings to go to class, and I am afraid I will not be able to do the work required in my classes. I feel so unmotivated. I am an A student and have never felt this way before, and I am scared I will fail my classes.
My dad is NOT supportive of me leaving school...if I were to leave, I would have to move back in with my mother and her boyfriend, which is not a good environment for me. But if I take time off school, my sister and I will have to move back in with them. I just feel like there are no good options anymore.