Hi, I have having a very difficult time with my anxiety. I have no doubt countless others are also facing many of the same fears. I feel lost and alone with no answers in sight. I have been a cardiac nurse for 10 years and have always loved being a nurse up until now. I feel like I’ve lost all sense of control over life and my anxiety. In the past, I never sought help for my anxiety. I have always felt my anxiety was nothing compared to what other people are going through in life. I have always been able to hide my anxiety pretty well and push myself through it until now. I feel like I’ve hit a brick wall that I can’t knock down. I have been having weekly therapy sessions for a few weeks, but it is not helping my frame of mind or to lower my anxiety. It started when they began to pull nurses from my unit to work on the covid 19 unit. Ever since my finance committed sudicide 4 years ago, I have a big problem with always thinking the worst case scenario will happen. I have so much guilt from not doing the right things to stop him. I envision that I will contract the virus and pass it to my loved ones. I decided that if I were to get pulled to the unit, I would self quarantine myself from everyone possible. However, then I envisioned I would die from the virus. I see what my fiancé’s family went through when he passed and I don’t ever want my family to have to go through that pain. I started having panic attacks on my way to work, I was unable to eat, sleep and could not stop my heart from racing. I couldn’t hide my anxiety anymore. I made a doctors appointment and was approved for a 4 week leave of absence from work. I have so much guilt for not doing my part in helping to take care of the patients on the covid 19 unit. I have to return to work next week and I’m scared I’m not going to be able to handle my anxiety. I don’t want to lose my job. Being a nurse and being able to help people means the world to me. That is why I am having such a hard time coping. I feel like I’m being pulled between my desire to help people and my anxiety and my anxiety is winning. I honestly feel that something very bad is going to happen if I go work on the covid 19 unit. I feel like I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I don’t know how to control my anxiety and I’m running out of time. Thank y’all for listening. It means a lot that there are people out there that may understand.
We are still in lockdown even though parts of our state is beginning to open.The weather is good today. What else is positive?
Hi everyone,I just joined this group looking for people similar to me. I have had anxiety all of my life. I am probably what most would call a "control freak" and I think that probably causes a lot of it. I am looking for a group becuase I struggle to talk to my family and husband about my stress. They mean well, but tell me I "just need to get my stress uder control." This, of course, makes me...