Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Hello,
I'm new here since i discovered i suffer from anxiety - panick attacks.
I'm 27 years old and i've always had a personality that was prone to stress. i've always been the 'shy girl' for people, friends and family.
After a long period i've decided to seek help and they diagnosed me with anxiety and people anxiety.
here's the problem, i'm in a relationship for a year now and everything was going great, we realy like each other and we didn't have to force anything. we realy are a great match or so i tought. i've started to notice my anxiety goes through the roof... i get the feeling i can't trust him without reason or explanation. the thing is , people say i should trust my gut but how can i trust my gut when a lot ( if not everything) is based on anxiety? i know my thoughts are irrational and not true.
now i'm suffering from more and more anxiety every day, my health is starting to get bad, my hair is falling out, i have digestive issues and i'm having panick attacks. i try to talk about it with my boyfriend and to a certain level he understands but he doesn't understand i have trust issues... he says he doesn't do anything wrong and that's true i guess but here are some examples i struggle with (can maybe someone tell me i'm overreacting and i'm not having a normal reaction so i know for sure it's my anxiety and there's nothing else going on)
he talks a lot , realy a lot , about female coworkers. can't stop metioning them, this is annoying but i have a feeling he goes to work and work activities to see them. we had vacation together and still he wanted to go to the afterwork drink... like most of us don't want to be at work during our vacation right?
he told me his old bootycall texted him asking a dumb random question and when i asked if he answered her he said yes, and he didn't understood i had a problem with that? because it was just a text
he stares so much at other people, mostly female, mostly people he told me were his type.
he uses his phone more and more and everytime he turns the screen away from me (maybe without it being his intention?)
i'm just going in circles not knowing if it's all my anxiety or if there is something else going on. i'm feeling like a jealous girlfriend who is being dramatic but the tol it has on my (mental) health are getting realy worse fast.
please feel free to share your thoughts with me!!
thanks!
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
This is one time where trusting your gut instinct is on target. Anxiety is your helper, and when it becomes overwhelming, you need to take a step back, stop, pause, breathe, repeat until calm and clear headed.
I'm not going to say this guy is doing something 'wrong', he is doing something I'd walk away from, for my own well-being.
A year, and this is happening, go take time for yourself and do things you like to do.
when i can't tell how much of my current anxiety is internal (all mine) and how much is situational (other people, etc.) i work on the part i have some control over. i don't get to control other people or the world around me, but i do have full access to my internal anxieties. when i can calm my internal anxieties, i have a clearer view of those situational anxieties and what to do about them.
He's not being nice to you. I'd question that relationship too. Keep going to counseling. It takes some time, but it does help.
And those things have nothing to do with whether you have anxiety or not.
My opinion is you need a good guy who is supportive, kind, and who is understanding of your anxiety.... not a guy who adds to your anxiety. Look at the physical toll it is taking on you. Not worth it.
I have had anxiety for 25 years and there are definitely nice guys out there who will not add to your anxiety. Guys who will be understanding, patient, kind, caring. Who will make you feel like a million bucks!
You deserve a great guy. You sound like a real good person. You can try to talk to him and tell him what you don't like and how this is making you feel. If he is unwilling to adjust his behavior (remember, we can not "change" another person), then that is just a sign to think about ending this relationship. If he does these things now, it's safe to say he will continue to do more things that upset you. Relationships should make you feel good. Not feel bad, anxious, unsure, stressed out, etc.
Keep doing your therapy. Start spending time with your friends, family. Have lots of interests outside of this relationship. Start writing in a journal. You will probably need some space and an objective mind to decide if this relationship is worth clinging to. Don't stay just because you put one year into it. The first year is usually the best. Doesn't seem like he is making any effort to be respectful of your feelings. Have a talk with him, but also be prepared that you might have to leave this relationship, and that's okay and you will be just fine.
It does wonders to hear the perspective of people outside the relationship.
All your comments gave me things to think about but what suprises me most is how kind you all are. If I talk about it with some people they say i’m a controling and jealous person but thats not who I am, I Always want to see the best in people. So reading your kind and accepting comments gave me hope and motivation to keep going to therapie and to work on myself.
Sadly yesterday I noticed he was staring a bit too long at a picture of his female coworker and today I saw (not on purpose, I try to respect everyone privacy) his password of his cellphone was way longer than it used to be. I will take all your comments with me and want to wish you all a nice day. You all make the world more bareable for people who are struggling!