Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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Anxiety Disorders
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I need some hope

eadarcy
eadarcy

I have never felt so lonely in all my life and I have no idea what to do. I think I have social anxiety because for a long time (over 5 years)I have felt so afraid of other people. I avoid eye contact, I can't think of anything to say, I feel judged and inadequate and ashamed. In meetings at work I am paralyzed with fear even though I know what to say. I can't stick up for myself (if an order is wrong, if a price is rung up wrong, if somebody says something rude or untrue, etc.) I really dread leaving the house. But I am so desperate for somebody to confide in, because sometimes my emotions just build up in me and I have no one to share with. I have no friends and no family. I had a bad week and it's just bottled up in me and I can't find anyone who will just listen. What can I do? I can't spend the rest of my life feeling so lonely. I feel like there is something terribly wrong with me and it will never be fixed though. 

Sakurafett
Sakurafett
Feeling lonely like that is awful. I'm sorry you're dealing with this so hard right now. I also second guess everything I want to say to people even on this forum. Sometimes I will type out a long response and delete the whole thing because I'm afraid people will take it wrong. If you think about it truly are you sure that you don't have a single friend? I used to let my anxiety tell me that but after speaking with a counselor they helped me realize that I had a personality disorder that made me isolate myself from people and I actually did have a few very close friends. Have you ever considered seeking professional help? Sometimes just hearing someone in an official position telling you that there's nothing wrong with how you're feeling can make things so much better.
eadarcy
eadarcy
Thank you for your reply. I'm the same way, even posting anything online I feel like I will be rejected. I deleted my social media because I was just so afraid of posting anything. I tried online therapy, but the therapists were so unhelpful, all they did was reiterate everything I said. In person therapy is hard because I'm so ashamed of my communication issues and I don't want my fiance to know (he's not very supportive). I can't have him reject me too.
eadarcy
eadarcy
Last time I saw a therapist in-person, she made me feel so awkward because I felt like I was responsible for filling the silence, and she barely said anything. I left feeling even more self-conscious.
arfie
arfie
You have found a BUNCH of people who will listen, Darcy. I don't know about the *just listen* part, though. We are an advice-givey bunch, but most of us mean well and few of us get pushy with our free advice peddling.

I try to stick to just sharing the personal experience which seems similar to yours. It helps me sort and settle my own anxieties and sometimes the relief even flows to other group members. Those are the good support days..

I have wa-a-a-ay more experience with social anxiety than I care to type just now. Lucky you? Mostly I wanted to let you know you are not alone and encourage you to share freely and often here.
eadarcy
eadarcy
Yesterday, I had this awful meeting with my step-son's school. I went into this meeting with notes and a list of concerns, everything I needed. I even had specific things I wanted to say. But then the meeting started and I couldn't speak, and when I did speak everything came out wrong, and in the end the school staff stepped all over me, completely dismissed my concerns, and made me look ridiculous. I was so angry afterwards that I just wanted to tell somebody. But I had nobody. And I went to bed last night feeling so lost and helpless, and I was hoping sleep would help but then I woke up and took my kids to the park and all of these parents are striking up conversations with each other, but nobody wants to talk to me. And I don't know why and it just knocked me down further.
Sakurafett
Sakurafett
I hate that about your in person therapist you saw! My last counselor I saw was like that and I went to way too many sessions before I finally got up the courage to cancel my meetings with her. It really is challenging to find a good therapist, it can take a lot of trial and error.
SweetairandRoses
SweetairandRoses
eadarcy, congratulations on your engagement plans!

I agree that in-person therapy is difficult. However, please don't drift away from the effort of seeking professional services. I had this same condition myself some years ago. Therapy was my start to getting a measure of power back in my life, and we all have styles or personalities that we just can't relate to, yet trust that talking about the problems and events in your life is a critical first step in addressing your internal factors, which I had quite a few myself.

And when the therapist is nodding and doing the "hmm" or chin rubbing, believe me, their brains are generally accepting this news of your life, and it sometimes seems questionable that they are listening. Give yourself a month or so before rejecting one for another though.

I hope for you many new and great chapters in your life.

Best.
graeme
graeme
Hello, Nice to read your heart felt honesty. I feel your loneliness and wish you find what you need. I too have never felt so lonely. I have no family, friends or partner and nobody to confide in. Having someone to just listen is a great help, even better when it is someone that shares their story with you too. I too when at work or in community interactions with people get paralyzed with fear, try not to make eye contact and everything comes out wrong when if I speak - even when I know that I know the right things to say it just all comes out wrong because my anxiety (and whatever else you want to call it) is in the way and know I will be judged. And I think to myself I am terribly lonely in desperate need human contact to stop me going mad, but at the same time just don't fit in and never will.

And yes i fear being judge for even writing this post :(

Wishing you strength
Littlechef
Littlechef
Hi and welcome to DS I can promise you one thing is that you will never be alone you will find people that will give you advice above say not only advice but you can make some good friends I've found friends that are always willing to support you as you will find out, don't be afraid to ask for help or even a rant we are always here. It sounds like a good idea about talking to a pherapist but I can't believe you are doing anything wrong try and relax and look after your self and family don't be afraid to ask for friendship on DS. Good luck..
eadarcy
eadarcy
Thank you all for listening and for your advice. It's comforting to know that there are such supportive people here, and that many of you can relate to what I am experiencing. I went ahead and reached out to a new therapist and I think I will begin using the journal entry feature on DS so that I can connect to people here as well. I do feel much better after reading your responses, I feel a bit less alone.
tummybulge
tummybulge
Good for you!
arfie
arfie
For what it's worth
In September, 2019, I inherited 3 orphans with the traffic deaths of my son and his wife. I have taken to calling my grandchildren, "Foster Children" because of similar treatment of grandparents. Letting those kind of assumptions romp in the pain and sorrow of such personal, 5-way grief is more heartache than I can handle. Explaining those grownup confusions does not simplify the challenge of figuring out why a 5 year old is acting out in class, much less facilitate a plan of action for correcting the problem.

Gentle empathy and support while you find your own way through. Caring for children is hard enough without the stigmatic complications.
Lavender80
Lavender80
Welcome to Daily Strength. The people on the forums are very kind and supportive.

As much as the apps, smart phones, social media, and technology has enabled us to communicate - I think it has also isolated us in many ways.

I have been off social media for over 8 years...and I don't miss it at all. I think most of it helps you maintain superficial connections.

The parts of us that long to have a deep conversation, talk about our vulnerabilities, and make a true connection - isn't so easy nowadays.

The facades we have to keep up, don't make it easy for us to open up either. Loneliness and lack of real connections is our true pandemic nowadays, even before the pandemic.

Sending you light and love!
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