Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I be a fanatical believer in apology. When I step on someone's toe or create a discomfort, however necessary, the sooner I apologize, the easier it will be to make amends and a-mending is a vital part of the healing process. I truly am sorry.
However much sorrow I feel for another person's pain, I did not create that pain. It is not my responsibility. How sorry should I be?
I often wonder in dazed confusion about the diffs between sorrow and sorry.
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
Being an over-apoligizer myself to extremes,I catch myself saying sorry when someone slams into me in the store,Sorry seems to be almost a mantra.I'm always saying sorry first after arguments and I'm ok with that if it will patch things up quicker and I can almost always find fault.
But I think other peoples suffering that we did not cause.That we cant help them with and we wish we could.I think Thats sorrow..
By the time my son was officially buried in September 2019, I feared I might slip into a psychotic rage at the next, "I'm sorry." Prior to that, I often translated, "I'm sorry" as somewhere between pity and a subject change when I attempted to, "Just get help."
The depth of my sorrow for both those cases is beyond words.
Sorting. . . Reframing? ? ? Processing? ? ? Just plain crazy? ? ?
But ive done it myself..wishing I could take some of load of pain.
sending u some caring while you process your sorrow
There is a difference between saying, "I am sorry for your suffering" and saying, "I am sorry my behavior actions or choices have caused you suffering" obviously the first is an expression of compassion and empathy for the other persons suffering, and the second is an apology and taking responsibility for our own poor misguided or cruel behavior.
How much sorrow should i feel for another persons pain? This is obviously a personal choice. It is something I measure by my own actions. I choose to treat others who have suffered in ways similar to my own as family members. (brothers, sisters or children) I work to share my experience strength and hope, with as much energy as i can up to the point where it would put me or anyone else at risk. That is my choice, we each must make our own.
About 2 years ago at my grocery store in the evening, I was checking out customers. 2 guys in my line started fighting verbally, one accusing the other of trying to steal something (which I didn’t see). They’re making quite the scene, other customers are backing off looking alarmed etc. It quickly becomes clear the accused guy is a few inches from jumping on the accuser, and he’s starting to look scared. I walk around the side of my check stand, make a few attempts to calm them, get the aggressors attention and simply say “Hey man...for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” I’ll never forget the confused look he gave me. “Why are you apologizing? You didn’t do anything.” “I know, but I guess it helps when SOMEONE says it so, hell, why not?” At that, the guy calmed down, nodded, shrugged, left his stuff there and just walked out the store.
I think there are far far far worse things in the world than being an over apologizer with a view to patching things up as peacefully as possible, even if it leaves you on the short end of the stick.
I have used "I'm sorry" in similar context and it has had that impact for me, as well. A single, non-confrontational suggestion of caring can defuse allot of tension.
Now that you have me thinking on it, it might have been my boot camp drill sergeant who introduced me to that trick. 299 roommates can wear on anybody's nerves. Much ado over nothing was a nearly daily occurrence in boot camp. Drill sergeants are highly trained to cut fuses short.
Over apologizing isn't the worst tick in the psycho car, but I have known all too many wounded souls who over-apologize their way to volunteer door mat duty. It is a sign of low self-esteem. Not the worst, by a long shot, but still worthy of consideration.