I recently had a job interview and the interviewer asked a question having to do with processes for one of the functions the role would oversee and how I addressed building those processes in my previous role. I don't remember my exact answer but I do remember saying something like I have a talent for knowing when I'm not an expert and the good sense to surround myself with people who are, She kind of laughed and I said it's really true, I have a lot of experience (in my field) but I can't know everything and that's where building a knowledgeable, high performing team to collaborate with is like having a super power.

When I was younger, I would have never admitted I wasn't the brains behind EVERYTHING during an interview. I think age and experience have given me a sense of,,, take me as I am or don't take me at all. Being my authentic self, someone who doesn't have all the answers and isn't sure she wants to, it's such a relief to set that burden down. When free of that, it does open the door to all kinds of possibilities.

Oh and I was offered that position. True story. I start on Monday.

congrats on the new job, rmb. very exciting. i hope you will keep us posted.

yeah, being young enough to know everything was as miserable an experience as i've ever hated. age does carry a mellowing agent. i don't have the energy to assert my rights or pretend to be something i'm not any more.

You are making total sense, Arfie. Just yesterday and this morning I have accepted my near constant needling anxiety and my struggle with sanity. It just is what it is. Accepting it helps me deal. I find myself in bubbly silliness to carry me through.
Sending good vibes!!

Thanks Arfie. Appreciate that.

Yeah age really does carry a mellowing agent. I still have a fire in me about somethings but it’s more like a burning candle than a furnace.

thank you, markus. personally, i believe i am finding far more sustainable sense in that bubbly silliness than i ever found in my high ideal control freakery. doesn't every formal religion/philosophy on the planet carry some iteration of the wisdom in seeing the world through the eyes of a child? the bible has more than 100 of those iterations, all by its lonesome. wanna go make some joyful noise?

rmb, do you think it's possible you can light more pathways with a candle than you can with a hot, burning furnace? maybe?

I love that image of lighting more pathways with a candle that with a hot burning furnace. Thank you for that. It is not only possible it’s exactly where I am my state of mind these days.

I do get addicted to the furnace fire sometimes because it gives me energy and feels more “alive.” But that’s really just me bullshitting myself. Little more at peace just lighting those candles

hi arfie. I couldn't agree with this more. My fifteen year old son asked me one day (seriously) if I had ever changed my mind about anything. Oh dear. I said absolutely, and he seemed surprised by this. Which I found kind of adorable that he is at the age where he knows everything. I feel like the older I get the less I am sure of. I am in this space now, having teenagers and feeling like I know nothing. I have no idea how to do this. I have no idea what the right thing to do is. Ever. More rules, less rules, I don't know? But, I guess in a way then I don't have all these things that I am "right" about to enforce on others. So yeah this really resonates with me right now. i don't know. Thank you for posting this.

I agree with you. Thinking we are omnipotent and know everything only keeps us stuck emotionally. I often do self introspection where I ask myself questions or I think about things. I often find people who are so sure of their illogical opinions, they like to spout off who they hate politically or make some dumb comment. I don't want to be the person who never thinks logically or does self examination. Just saying. I want to improve myself every day or maybe every week or month is more realistic.

Congratulations RMB on the new job! Excited for you. Great answer in the interview.

wow! ! ! not only am i receiving a sensibility rating, i'm receiving validation for the concepts. thank you guys.

now to see if i my hats still fit. . .

Thinking I am supposed to be all knowing or responsible for all can give me equal anxiety. Knowing what is simply not in your control can be freeing for me.

hello eli. welcome to the forum.

amen to the freedom and serenity to be found in dropping the know-it-all mask. it is not only liberating, it allows life to be more of a creative adventure when i can relax and enjoy those unexpected surprises.