Did you ask out girls or were you waiting for them to come to you?

Here's how it works. You have to be comfortable with your appearance, whatever that appearance is. You have to be comfortable with your actions, whatever those actions are.

Where you are noticing the girls are not treating you as you wish to be treated, have you considered looking at your actions and appearance (practice in front of a mirror and you'll notice the little things that can distract from the whole well-being).

Attraction of "not available" is often the culprit in this particular pattern, and the best way to change it is to change where you spend time. Find yourself a hobby that you like by yourself, and when you quit looking for company, it often finds you relaxed, enjoying your well-being, and is comfortable.

Best wishes.

BlueYonderDreams, to answer your question, I do a bit of both. I have ask a lot of times and got rejected. Usually in a sugarcoated bs way. So, I kinda decided to wait. And a lot of times, you can tell when a women likes you. If you can't tell she likes you, odds are she doesn't like you. And thanks, Mideyebrow.

The question is were you really confident or just acting that way to try and convince yourself or the girls that you were. If its "fake confidence"
it might well come across as "being cocky" which would be a turn off to
women [ and other men].Sure looks matter somewhat. You don't see a
lot of Christy Brinkley / Billy Joel couples, but it does happen. I think you will find a wider variety of physical characteristics women look at than men. I asked the question on another site to women only: Other than face, what body part do you look at most in men. Of course I expected big biceps, wide shoulders, tight butt . But the body part they mentioned most was hands. It made no sense to me until I asked my girlfriend if that was true and if so , why. She said
it says a lot about the way a man takes care of himself . Obviously nail biting would be a big no-no. But she said the "grooming" says a lot about the person. I had always thought a manicure would take away from my "manliness" but I was wrong. So when you assess your own looks, pay attention to more than the face that's looking back at you in the mirror.

Welp, guess I'm fucked then. I don't have any reason to have any real confidence. I'm not ugly in my opinion, but there's really nothing that special about me. I try to do things to set myself apart (in a good way), but I always fail. I tried sports and I failed. I tried working out and I got very little results even though I have been working out for several months. I think I am just destined to be a loser.

Don't be so hard on yourself, the right women is out there for you, you just haven't found her yet. I apologize if I am off base but it sounds to me like you have low self esteem and that will not say confidence to anyone. Your not a loser so don't say that about yourself or you will believe that about yourself. Positive self talk is important. If women can't see all the great qualities about you then that is their loss and you are better off without them. You need a women that will appreciate you for the person you are on the inside not just on the outside. A women who is really into you will be attracted to you, and I mean ALL of you.They will accept you for you and if they don't, well then they are not the right one for you.

I am sorry I rambled I hope I was helpful in someway. Please don't get discouraged God loves you. If you ever want to talk or just vent I am here.