Going to my doctor gives me horrible anxiety, I always think the worst is going to happen. Just went to the doctor on Friday to address some serious medical concerns and Im really glad I went. Think of it this way, going to the doctor will break the cycle youre in or begin the process. Be honest with your doctor. If they dont know things they cant treat it. Its going to be ok. Youre going to be okay

Idk I see my psychologist Sunday and then a week from that my psychatrist .im having major issues taking my medicine consistently and I just feel myself giving up on doing anything to help myself .my psychologist and psychatrist both think I need therapy every week .but I can’t afford that and I also just don’t feel like doing it :(

Having depression makes it easy to give up on things. Think in terms of steps. Dont look so far ahead. My doctor and I have devised a 1, 2, 3 month goal plan and will evaluate at points. If I havent hit the goal markers by said date, the next goal plan will be on hold til I do and then recheck a month after. I have a problem with meds myself but Im locked into my.med management since I made a deal with my doctor about it.

See mine should be setting goals with me but dosnt .we just talk about my issues for a hour and then I feel even more upset when I leave .idk I try to set goals on my own but I never succeed because my depression always stops me

Ask to set goals then, doesnt have to be just talking

Total empathy, Musicgirl. Sometimes the "help" feels more hurtful than the illness which drove me to help in the first place.

I go to my therapy sessions, including support groups, to deal with the issues I have avoided for my entire life. The no fucking fair yucky mucks I would wish away if I could. Since wishing didn't work in my case. . .

My therapy network helps, but preferred passtime it ain't. I would wish away that part, too, if I could. Nudge, nudge. . . Healing takes what it takes.

Idk today I feel like epic shit .i didn’t take my meds this morning and I don’t remember if I did the day before .now I feel so shitty I just want to take a bunch now .but I
Have no water near them so that isn’t an option luckly .i just don’t know what to do my mom wants me to do chores or practice but I just want to be a vegtable

I remember from before that you weren't taking your meds regularly, or as prescribed, but the meds can't help you if they aren't being taken.... so can you maybe try something like setting a reminder on your phone to take your meds? If you only take them when you feel like it, they won't help you. Hoping you will feel better once you get back to taking your meds as they are prescribed. I think you will feel better if you did this. You can do it!!

Idk last night I spent hours contemplating taking extraof one and I ended up taking 20mg extra .nothing happened but it calmed me down to go to sleep .nw it’s another day and I still keep thinking about taking extra :(

'm sorry you're feeling so down. As mentioned in earlier comments, taking your meds consistently is the only way you'll be able to notice a difference, or not. Do you exercise at all? That makes a major difference and shifts our brain chemistry. If you're feeling like therapy isn't helping, it may not be. It may be that you should look for a different therapist which is totally fine! I "fired" if you will, two before I found a perfect match. You need to find someone you connect with and make sure to let them know what your expectations and goals are for coming to therapy. Hope you're feeling better today.

I go to the gym like once a week cause I have no time .im hoping to find a new therapist but I’ve kinda given up on it cause I don’t think I’m gonna be supported by my family and I’m so turned off to therapy that I don’t care anymore

You could work out at home, too. Anytime, any where. Just do exercises inside your house or walk outside. I'm sorry you feel you don't care anymore, but that is the precise reason why you DO need therapy. Especially if you don't have any family support. You can do this! If you don't connect well with your therapist, please do see another one. They are all different. Hoping you find the right one soon.

i know this sounds lame, but, watch some inspiring videos or read a self help book until... when you read about historical people with depression you might feel better.... i did. only when it is the darkest, can you see the stars....

I am the same way. Today I wrote that I hated myself because I get so freaked out. I have a doctor's appointment the day after tomorrow and I am in panic mode. "Will I move when I have my CT?" "What if I have a panic attack during my bone scan" My mind is just nuts. And to top it off, I gained weight knowing I shouldn't.
I wish I can give you advice but the only thing I can say is that you are not alone. Don't give up!
Hugs, Koyu